Hi, Please can anyone help? SOA and current situation

determined_new_ms

Hi I wanted to offer you some support - just love and hugs I'm afraid as I have no experience in this area, I'm sitting here in tears reading your posts and just wanted you and your partner to know that this is not worth taking your lives for - its just money. I can hear right now this is very overwhelming & frightening for you but please look after yourself and you oh and know that this will be ok. Samaritans are great if you need someone to talk to in the dead of the night. Keep hold of those people in your mind who need and rely on both you and your oh - your sister, pets, mum, dad, gran. I promise you this will be ok many people on this website have been in thousands and thousands of pounds worth of debt and have come out of the other side, this as with everything else in life will pass and will be ok. Stay posting on here and get your oh on board toom, this website saw me through a really dark time in my life also. I'm really thinking of you and know that better times are not far away xxx

Snugglebunny8

Just wanted to send you a hug, please get him in to see his doctor quickly and go with him, I really hope you can sort this out_ Im in a similar situation with failed business, bank calling in personal guarantee in husbands name only, am terrified re the house as its in joint name, not sure if they can touch the house if its in joint name? so scared with children etc, we are very lucky we have an inherited property we are selling, but also had awful luck in that today a third buyer pulled out at the exchange and left us with solicitors bills - its a commercial property and even our solicitor has no idea why we have such bad luck but that's neither here nor there, I will let you know if I can find out about the joint property situation with business debt in partners name etc - ive thought about suicide seriously myself but the thing stopping me is my husband and children - you need to explain to him what he does have to live for - you, and that you love him no matter what, lots of love and let us know how you are xxx

Snugglebunny8

ps, please don't feel you have to apologise, ie re the pets etc - we've all been in a situation where sudden unforseen things happen re income and jobs, you arent alone so please don't feel like you have to face this on your own, there are lots of people here who understand and will try and help and support you - I would personally not give any of your personal or business information out on the net though, Im sure whoever has offered help is genuine, but better not to take the risk xx

Superbiatch

Reading your posts, I do have great sympathy for you and your partner for simply trying to better yourselves and set up a successful business.

But your (and your partners) health is paramount, any money issues can be sorted out one way or another - this is something I cam to realise after verging on a nervous breakdown.

If its any help at all, my partner is classed as clinically depressed and talks about suicide at his low times. I have been reassured by many different health professionals and organisations that talking about it and doing it are very different indeed, its just he feels helpless. Demand an emergency appointment, he needs urgent help to get him back onto an even keel and then you can face your debt problems together united as a couple - good luck x

rhubarbarella

Ok, just to update people on what I have done so far, and what the current plan is:

Smoke less!(hard at present)

I have arranged a meeting with the landlord of the business property to see what our options are (eg whether he would dissolve the lease, give us a month or two grace to let us get sorted out, let us sub let the property etc)

Found a basic bank account with a bank unconnected to the debts or mortgage that my partner can open, and transfer all standing orders and direct debits to.

Found a drop-in advice centre that has a debt caseworker to try and get some face to face advice (this will be on wednesday)

Made a GP appt for my partner and one for me, for next week. (going to try and bring my partners forward to this week)

My Mum has kindly offered to buy me a 1 year pre-payment medical certificate which will cover the cost of my prescriptiond for 12 months.

Found the website with information on how to register on the housing list for a council house, just in case

Spoken to Community Legal Advice about the housing situation (if my partner goes bankrupt apparently they can still force a sale, but while they can take his equity they cannot take mine - assuming there is any equity of course)

Spoken to nationaldebtline or advice and support

Arranged a British Gas engineer to come on Wednesday afternoon to service the boiler and make sure it isn't a fault causing the really high gas prices.

Phoned to cancel my partners personal mobile, which is out of contract - we have to put it in writing and pay it for one more month apparently.

Arranged for my Grandma to take in 2 of my cats if we have to leave the house - I am assuming that I could find a rental property that would let me keep 2 cats, but it would be cruel to live in a tiny house with 4 cats I cannot afford. This will save me having to put them in a shelter as she will adopt 2 of them and pay for them etc as her own.

Emailed samaritans to hopeully get some emotional support.

Applied for income support just in case we are entitled

cancelled any unnecessary subscriptions and direct debits eg a magazine subs, a charity monthly donation etc

Plans to do when I see what happens over next 2 days:

Ask bank for a mortgage payment holiday

Get house valued

See if anyone I know would be interested in investing in the business

Talk to business debt line

See if I can get a cheaper home building and contents insurance deal

See what advice we get given from elsewhere

Look at setting up a website or getting a page on etsy or ebay to try and sell some of partners handmade jewellery and paintings, in case we can get any cash that way (it would be a very small amount compared to what we owe, but every little helps, right?)

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice so far
Please, any feedback on my current actions and plans would be very helpful
Also, any other ideas, or things I have missed as my head is all over the place

Mike_parsonnage

Please Please do not think or try and commit suicide. I tried it 2 years ago this month over debt that I thought would destroy my life. I jumped from my 3 rd floor window onto concerete . I broke my arm , back , ribs , pelvis, shoulder and puncured a hole in my bowle. Amazing that I lived and was told I might never walk again . I survived and walked apart form my arm not going completley straight and some pain in the back I am 100% they even reversed the bag they fitted for number twos that I had for 7 months . I am very very lucky that I am not dead or paralized from neck down. Demand help from the doctors and health service for both of you. Especially the OH he sounds like he needs it . This to shall pass. Please beleive me and get help.

Ma_Boswell

Your last post was so positive - you are thinking very clearly and obviously really well organised which is a very good start. Your GP should see your OH very quickly if you mention that he is threatening suicide ( i suffered from Depression after my husband's death and was on an unofficial "priority list" at my practice - yours may have something similar in place). I am so glad your family are doing what they can for you - it helps to have that kind of support. I am only just beginning to deal with my debts but would like to offer my sympathy and support for what its worth.

Snugglebunny8

rhubarbarella wrote: »

Ok, just to update people on what I have done so far, and what the current plan is:

Smoke less!(hard at present)

I have arranged a meeting with the landlord of the business property to see what our options are (eg whether he would dissolve the lease, give us a month or two grace to let us get sorted out, let us sub let the property etc)

Found a basic bank account with a bank unconnected to the debts or mortgage that my partner can open, and transfer all standing orders and direct debits to.

Found a drop-in advice centre that has a debt caseworker to try and get some face to face advice (this will be on wednesday)

Made a GP appt for my partner and one for me, for next week. (going to try and bring my partners forward to this week)

My Mum has kindly offered to buy me a 1 year pre-payment medical certificate which will cover the cost of my prescriptiond for 12 months.

Found the website with information on how to register on the housing list for a council house, just in case

Spoken to Community Legal Advice about the housing situation (if my partner goes bankrupt apparently they can still force a sale, but while they can take his equity they cannot take mine - assuming there is any equity of course)

Spoken to nationaldebtline or advice and support

Arranged a British Gas engineer to come on Wednesday afternoon to service the boiler and make sure it isn't a fault causing the really high gas prices.

Phoned to cancel my partners personal mobile, which is out of contract - we have to put it in writing and pay it for one more month apparently.

Arranged for my Grandma to take in 2 of my cats if we have to leave the house - I am assuming that I could find a rental property that would let me keep 2 cats, but it would be cruel to live in a tiny house with 4 cats I cannot afford. This will save me having to put them in a shelter as she will adopt 2 of them and pay for them etc as her own.

Emailed samaritans to hopeully get some emotional support.

Applied for income support just in case we are entitled

cancelled any unnecessary subscriptions and direct debits eg a magazine subs, a charity monthly donation etc

Plans to do when I see what happens over next 2 days:

Ask bank for a mortgage payment holiday

Get house valued

See if anyone I know would be interested in investing in the business

Talk to business debt line

See if I can get a cheaper home building and contents insurance deal

See what advice we get given from elsewhere

Look at setting up a website or getting a page on etsy or ebay to try and sell some of partners handmade jewellery and paintings, in case we can get any cash that way (it would be a very small amount compared to what we owe, but every little helps, right?)

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice so far
Please, any feedback on my current actions and plans would be very helpful
Also, any other ideas, or things I have missed as my head is all over the place

wow!! Go You! :T you have done brilliantly to get your teeth into all those issues, and really taken control, thats absolutely amazing, am so happy to see what you have been able to do, keep us posted!

I cant think of any suggestions, think you've really done fantastically xxxxx

Snugglebunny8

Ma_Boswell wrote: »

Your last post was so positive - you are thinking very clearly and obviously really well organised which is a very good start. Your GP should see your OH very quickly if you mention that he is threatening suicide ( i suffered from Depression after my husband's death and was on an unofficial "priority list" at my practice - yours may have something similar in place). I am so glad your family are doing what they can for you - it helps to have that kind of support. I am only just beginning to deal with my debts but would like to offer my sympathy and support for what its worth.

I so sorry to hear what you went through, but you are a real inspiration and have made me feel I can handle what Im going through, so thank you, and good luck with the debts, keep us posted on how you are doing xxx

isy1011

Well done for getting your teeth into all that. There is no problem that is not sort outable. Well done you.:D