am I wrong to be cross

rachbc

My parents are visiting to look after the kids whilst DH and I go away for the night. Today whilst we are away they have invited a load of their extended family over to my house for the day/ lunch. They did this then 'asked' us afterwards if it was ok - hardly giving us the opportunity to say no!

DH are both getting stressed about bunch of people (inc kids of various ages) being there when we aren't - more than happy to have family over - but when I've invited them and when I'm there!

Not really sure what, if anything I can say or do now anyway...woke up this morning to find a load of party food in my fridge!!

NickyBat

What exactly about it is bothering you?

*Robin*

Not much help to you, but if my parents had done that it would freak me right out! ..I would not go away under those circumstances - and would probably not be able to keep my mouth shut at the parents' rudeness either!

knithappens

no way are you over reacting, it is very rude in my opinion, it is not their home, they are there to baby sit, period. I woudl have to tell them no, if they then wont babysit, then so be it.

littlemissmanics

I'd be very annoyed if my parents did that. They're doing you a favour by looking after your kids, but that doesn't mean you've given them an open house!

If they wanted an extended family gathering, why not do it at their house, at another time. Aside from anything else, it's a weird family gathering if its happening when you and your husband obviously cant attend it.

Not sure what you can do now, but as *Robin* says, I probably wouldn't go away either, and make sure they knew perfectly well why I wasn't, especially if it's going to cost you anything to cancel. I certainly wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy the time away from the house knowing that there are a load of people in my house!

busiscoming2

I would be angry too, especially as they did not ask first and I would have to tell them I was unhappy about it.

thorsoak

It all depends. If they are doing this so that other members of your extended family can meet their grandchildren, if they are not asking you to provide food & drink, if it is not intended to degenerate into a drunken orgy, if it means that your children are entertained - albeit in a way that you might not do - then why raise the roof about it? A pointed remark along the lines "I hope you will clear up after you" should be sufficient.

Of course - unless you would rather your children did not meet the extended family?

Bloomin_Freezing2

I would not be happy with this. Are they getting their own back for a party you had when you were youger and they were on holiday? I'd be fine with them having another couple over for dinner, but not a house full of people. Do they live far away? Have they seen this as n opportunity to see people they don't often get to see? I'd would tell them how you feel, i'm sure it'll make them feel bad but they have to realise this isn't ok to do without asking first. Gosh, it's like dealing with teenagers isn't it!

RacyRed

rachbc wrote: »

My parents are visiting to look after the kids whilst DH and I go away for the night. Today whilst we are away they have invited a load of their extended family over to my house for the day/ lunch. They did this then 'asked' us afterwards if it was ok - hardly giving us the opportunity to say no!

DH are both getting stressed about bunch of people (inc kids of various ages) being there when we aren't - more than happy to have family over - but when I've invited them and when I'm there!

Not really sure what, if anything I can say or do now anyway...woke up this morning to find a load of party food in my fridge!!

But aren't these people your extended family too? Not a bunch of strangers?

I can understand your annoyance at not being asked first and do think that your parents have behaved inconsiderately, but now that it has been arranged it is a case of acccept it or object.

Take a deep breath and enjoy your night away knowing your children are being entertained by their family.

Minxy_Bella

I would be livid in the OP's shoes. Absolutely livid!

I don't care who they are, nobody invites other people into MY house without MY 'approval' - it's also offensive that they're all going to be having a party while they know you're not there! What if the kids start poking around in your private stuff or worse, the adults!! My idea of a nightmare to be honest!

Personally, unless I got a full apology from the parents, I'd be so stroppy that my night away would be ruined. I guess some people just feel very strongly about privacy and personal space and others are more laid back. But surely your parents would know you well enough to know how you'd react? Mine certainly would! LOL

Sambucus_Nigra

rachbc wrote: »

My parents are visiting to look after the kids whilst DH and I go away for the night. Today whilst we are away they have invited a load of their extended family over to my house for the day/ lunch. They did this then 'asked' us afterwards if it was ok - hardly giving us the opportunity to say no!

DH are both getting stressed about bunch of people (inc kids of various ages) being there when we aren't - more than happy to have family over - but when I've invited them and when I'm there!

Not really sure what, if anything I can say or do now anyway...woke up this morning to find a load of party food in my fridge!!

Just tell them that they have to uninvite them! Or perhaps they could come tomorrow when you are back.