Nursery.................

lukemed1

Hi everyone,

Is sending a child to nursery really giving them the best/head start in life? My 3 yr old daughter has taken a dislike to one of the staff there and is adamant that she doesn't want to attend anymore, she gets very distressed as we approach the nursery and when i leave i can hear her crying, so what do i do?

send her or not? would be great to hear your opinions..........

faithcecilia

How is she when you collect her? And what feedback are you getting from the nursery staff? I think all kids (well, most) go through stages of not wanting to go to nursery or school, but then usually settle quite quickly once you leave and have a good time;).

Also, has she been able to tell you why she doesn't like one of the staff? Is it because they tell her what to do and tells her off? It could possibly be as simple as her perfume - there is one perfume, I have no idea which one it is, but whenever I smell it on someone I get a strange feeling of nervousness:o.

I would probably talk to whoever is in charge and see what they say in the first instance. Also, is she a young 3 or rising 4? If the latter then I would probably persevere as school wouldn't be so far away and she would have to find a way of coping. It would be hard for her but very character-building.

lukemed1

Hi Faith,

she's a young 3 and is fine and happy when I pick her up, it's just getting her there thats the problem!

hitchins

lukemed1 wrote: »

Hi Faith,

she's a young 3 and is fine and happy when I pick her up, it's just getting her there thats the problem!

Hi, I'm having the same problem except all I hear all morning and all the way there is "I don't want to sit on the mat" which is what they all have to do when they go in. I just ignore her, and more often than not she has to be carried by the teacher kicking and screaming, the teachers say within a minute she's shut up.

Not sure about your DD but mine has a habit of getting things into her head and just "playing" on them IYKWIM. When I go to collect her and peak through the window, she's quite happily sat on the mat!

And judging by her photos in her profile is very happy throughout the morning.

Very manipulative creatures, children. :rotfl:

Bloomin_Freezing2

As tough as it is on your heart strings, try not to worry. The fact she is ok when you collect her speaks volumes. If this staff member was so awful your dd would still be screaming for you come home time. I had the same phase with dd1, although she had a firm favourite staff member, who could just about manage to coax her from me. How about lurking in the cloakroom once nursery time starts, just so you can hear dd has calmed down? I did and she'd only be crying for 2 mins, before I knew this myself i'd spend the whole 2 1/2 hrs at home worrying, far more than her 2 mins of sadness that i'd gone!

I think nursery is incredibly important for youngsters, they learn and develop so much in this time. If you let her win now, I think you could end up with the same problem at lower school and you can't stop her attending that.

JoJoB

Can she articulate why she doesn't like this particular member of staff?

Becles

My eldest did the same. He used to hang on my leg and wail in a melodramatic voice "pleeeeeaaaaase don't leave me with these people"

He would be prised of my leg and I'd leave, and staff said he would just look for a minute to see if I came back, then he'd go off and play happily.

Staff said it's a common thing. If she's happy when you're gone and when you pick her up, I would just ignore the behaviour before you go in.

ellies_angel

When I worked in the nursery we had twins. One was glued to my side, my wee shadow the other to my colleagues. The other wouldn't come near me if her life depended on it. She could have fallen and hurt herself and be crying her little heart out, but if I went to comfort her she would stop crying and start screaming.

Counting_Pennies_2

It is very usual to get distressed as they are dropped off.

I would suggest asking if you can pop your head around the door at a different time each day to check on her. Again keeping the nursery unaware of when you will arrive so you can get an idea of how the place is run.

I would suggest speaking with the head and saying that she gets upset when she mentions the teacher in question, and is there anything she is aware that is causing the upset.

Often at this age they can get headstrong in a group setting. Starting the assert their independant thoughts and they don't like the way they are asked to do things, and followed through. So sometimes that can be an issue.

I do believe a nursery setting is right for them in the run up to going to school. Definitely a year before they start big school. It helps them with socialising, sharing, starting to work in groups and understanding the need to take turns and wait. Also it is a good start to the three Rs.

hth

pelirocco

lukemed1 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Is sending a child to nursery really giving them the best/head start in life? My 3 yr old daughter has taken a dislike to one of the staff there and is adamant that she doesn't want to attend anymore, she gets very distressed as we approach the nursery and when i leave i can hear her crying, so what do i do?

send her or not? would be great to hear your opinions..........

No I dont think it does , if shes not happy and you dont need to send her because of work , what could be better then her being at home with you ?

I think we pack them off to school far too early

jackomdj

I think it gives them a good grounding.

I also think that if you take her out this is sending out the message that if she complains about something she may not have to do it & you may be setting yourself up for some big problems when it comes to going to school.

I work part time (2 days a week ) & we used creche for this. I still sent/send my LO's to pre-school attached to the school for the rest of the week as I thought it would forge some good relationships with other children making it easier when they got to school.

As others have said you will probably find that they love it there. I remember my eldest really hated (strong word but she did!) one of the ladies at creche. This was because she told her to "go away" one day. She loved creche, just not this person! She still tells me now "I did not like *****, she told me to go away", my youngest loves the lady though!