Advise re holiday vs prom with stroppy teen

Bennifred

I think you are wise to let your DS go to the prom - and equally wise not to let him stay in the house without supervision!:D I wouldn't be worrying about the prom, it's all about the "after-party". Proms tend to end fairly early (10.30ish) because of the staff, but round here at least the night is just beginning for the students:cool: They tend to organise to go to specific people's houses to carry on partying. The problems arise when students without an invite to one of those house parties decide to attend anyway......and other youths of around the same age join the fun. Prom nights are some of the busiest for the police, unfortunately. No way would I want it known that my house was accessible with no adults in it!

Anyway - make watertight plans for your DS's accommodation, then go and have a fab holiday!

PS Charity shops are brilliant places for picking up an inexpensive DJ.

skylight

Great compromise. I echo the others - do not let him stay at yours on his own and do not let anyone else know either!!

He has the choice; come or not and its entirely up to him. Suggest that he has a few days to think about it before anyone makes plans that cannot be changed again (ie cancelling his hotel etc).

Its horrible when you have to start letting go!

younganddumb_2

I don't have any advice regarding the whole holiday/prom thing, as I would've preferred a holiday 'cause I hadn't been on one for about 7 years either when I was 16.

BUT

I'd just like to say that if you do allow him to stay home, at his fathers home, make sure you confiscate his house key and has no way of entering the house otherwise your home will end up being the venue of the prom "after party"! *I know that's what would have happened a couple of years ago when I was prom age... Innocent us teenagers, did you not know Lol!

Young&Dumb! X

mountainofdebt

The one thing I would say is that Junior didn't go to a Prom at 16 - the girl's and boy's school have a combined prom just for the sixth form.

However last year's was a big disappointment to him - the hotel where it was held id all the guests (logically when you think about it) and anyone under 18 or who couldn't provide id weren't allowed to buy alcohol (everyone else had those bracelet thinggies). Also because of the price of drinks (think hotel prices in a city centre here) practically all of the upper 6th pupils (who would have been 18 anyway) went to the local pub / nightclub afterwards.

He's already said he has no interest in going to this years event.

Jen151

this reminds me of when my little brother was around 16, parents had booked this lovely holiday to Austria with him. Beautiful hotel & little village - fair enough pretty boring for a 16 y.o. he'd told them he didn't want to go because he would miss a FOOTBALL MATCH!! but they booked it anyway. on the morning of the holiday he strolled out the front door and didn't come back!! didn't answer his phone. we had people all over looking for him. i even went to the football ground and put out a stewards announcement to see if he was at the game!! parents made their way to the airport.... stressing.... waiting for news. we would bring him out / call them if we found him. if they didn't find out they'd said they wouldn't go as they'd be too worried to leave the country not knowing where he was. they called me as the plane was boarding and just at that moment he walked through the front door - he'd been hiding in the park! so they got their holiday but they needed it after that stressful morning!

because you're going to give your son the choice, this kind of thing won't happen to you

HappyEnough

Oh Wow! Youve all been really helpful and supportive!:j
Well, it would appear I was a little optomistic about the £91 loss, it actually came to £265 as the hotel would not refund any money either (they couldnt even have had it yet, i only booked it monday night!!!!).

So, with this in mind, when DS returned from extra english (bless) we sat him down and explained that it was his choice, but that ultimately it was a LOT of money to lose. He said the main part of wanting to go to the prom was because his girlfriend would be there and he didnt want her there without him !!! So, Brainwave!!! My husband and I had a chat and then we asked DS if he would like to bring his gf too! (Altho she had to pay for herslef as we really couldnt manage to pay for an extra person). After a couple of phone calls to his beloved, and her folks, it is all agreed. So all that worrying for nothing! Unless of course she cant get a flight, but im sure that will be ok, we not due to go til end of June.

And if they break up between now and then? Well, then i still wont lose out as unfortunately it will be her booking that will be cancelled and DS will then defo want to come away to get over it all

Happy household again. My DD loves his gf, as does youngest DS. Hubbie just bemused by the whole thing really :rotfl:

So, all sorted. Night night everyone!!! I really will sleep tight tonight!

skylight

Perfect!!!

Amazing what can be achieved when [STRIKE]kids[/STRIKE] teens, sit down and talk!

pupsicola

Can sympathise with you both to be honest. Sorry probably not what you want to hear. School proms are almost seen as a right of passage for school leavers now. Round my way and im sure up and down the country they are huge business and there is alot of peer pressure to go. Even at our local junior school 11 year olds have limos turning up to take them off to parties when they leave in July,
:eek::rotfl::eek:. So it is small wonder your teen doesn't want to miss out.

Personally I would much rather go on holiday too and you must feel gutted that he is refusing to go. Would definately not want to leave him home alone and can relate to the fear of parties going on. How are you really going to make sure that doesn't happen? Is there any other family member that could house sit for you whilst you are away.

Didn't see your last update before writing this sorry - glad it is all sorted out

sarahlou89

I kind of agree with your son, my friends mum did exactly the same thing, booked a 2 week holiday to Egypt not realising the date of our prom.
Friend didnt want to miss out on the prom, so she stayed at mine for the 2 weeks.
And even now she says she is glad she didnt miss it.

I think you both need to come to a compromise which you are both happy with, and see about him giving you the money you lose back.

sarahlou89

Glad it is all sorted now