Advise re holiday vs prom with stroppy teen

PudseyDB

My girls havent left school yet, but my neighbour's girls have and I know the school prom is a HUGE event that they all look forward to beforehand, and have great photos and memories from. I would certainly be in favour of letting him go to the prom - rather than forcing him to go on holiday with the family.

is there no one he can stay with, or someone sensible who can stay at your house with him while you're away?

As for the airfare - how much would it cost to change the name on the booking? could dd or ds perhaps take a friend instead.

Or as a previous person said - look into him getting a plane back earlier, so that he's back for the prom.

Jalapee

This is just personal experience, this exact thing happened to me! (except i was the child)

But i chose not to go to prom and go on holiday instead, we hadn't had a family holiday in about 3 years so decided to go on holiday. Never regretted not going to prom. I maybe got a little bit jealous when i saw some pictures pop up on 'myspace' but other than that felt nothing at all!

A bit of advice... DONT LET HIM STAY AT HOME! lol

rozmister

School prom is really important when you leave school. Family holidays are more important to parents because soon their kids are going to be off being grown ups but to a 16 year old going to the prom, their last chance to see all their friends, is the most important thing in the world!

You say you have some older kids is there no way they can stay at the house with him while you're away? When I was 16 my older brother stayed at my Mums with me while she went off somewhere for 2 weeks (no recollection where). He wasn't the most responsible (we spent the housekeeping budget on crates of VK and beer and yoghurt and supernoodles) but he was old enough to not let my Mum's house get ruined. I had a summer job I used to go to during the day and when I wasn't there I was spending time with my first proper boyfriend which was all I wanted from my summer hols!

LoopyLil_2

I would be inclined to let him stay at home. If you take him on holiday, my guess is that he wont enjoy himself. Their prom is one thing they look forward to. They will only get one prom, he can have a holiday anytime. Is there a responsible relative he could stay with (which doesnt mean he has to travel to his fathers) or could you get a relative to house sit for the duration of your holiday?
I am sure that the prom means more to him than a holiday. I think he would be gutted if he missed it. But, speaking as a parent, I know you will worry about him while you are on holiday!

Auntie-Dolly

I agree it will be an important event for your son & I wouldn't insist he goes with you. Could Dad take a couple of days off & stay at your place to supervise the evening? Also, don't forget as well as the £91 lost there will be a lot of expense associated with attending the prom.

Reggie_Rebel

Get his Dad to take a couple of days holiday and come and stay at your house

cgk1

Holidays come and go, he's only going to have one Prom and while it's not something that they did when I was at school, it's clearly something the kids look forward to and remember.

HappyEnough

Well, i guess ive got what i came on here for, a decision!!! BIG BIG THANK YOU to all posters. My husband and I will tell DS when he gets home from school that if he wants to go to his prom he will have our blessing, and that i expect lots of photos! BUT he will not be able to stay home as I do think the temptation to bring girlfriend home for the night, or two, or three or more might be more than he could bear! I will see if i can strike a happy medium, if he perhaps goes to his dads for the first few days, then the prom, then stay at his girlfriends house ( i know her parents will be ok with this). Im sad for me, but thats just selfish. We booked the holiday through sunshine.co.uk - idependant of a tour operator - so will lose the ryan air flight, but the hotel and transer money will be repaid so not all bad. And i may make him get on job on the pretence he has to pay back the airfare....and then give it back to him towards his prom a little later on. So that way, I get him out to work, and he doesnt even realise why!!! Sneaky!

This was my first ever post, and im so very glad i took the courage and dived in!

balletshoes

HappyEnough wrote: »

Hi there
I would be really grateful for your opinions/advise as I really really not sure what to do for best.

On monday, after many many many attempts at making sure he really wanted to come, I booked our first family holiday for seven years. I have seven kids and now finally only 3 are 16 and under we could finally afford to go somewhere hot, as the older teens would rather do anything other than come away with us oldies...

I booked it for the day after my ds (16) officially leaves school, at the end of June. I checked that he would definately have left, so not missing exams etc. BUT, silly me, I didnt think to check the date of his Prom.

You can guess whats coming:eek:my DS end of school life Prom is smack bang in the middle of our holiday. And now he doesnt want to come. Apparently its really important to him (and his girlfriend no doubt had a thing or two to say about it) and he would rather stay behind.

Now I wont allow him in the house alone - parties/facebook/etc all spring to mind - and so ive told him he must stay at his father's flat in london for the duration of our holiday, returning here to kent only for the night of the prom, and then quick smart on the train back to london the following morning. Ive explained his father will be at work so he will be sat, alone, in a flat with nothing but an x-box for company until evening comes. Ive tried explaining that its daft to forgoe a holiday in the sun, for a whole week, all for the sake of maybe four hours of partying.
The travel company will not refund the airline costs as travelling with easyjet so will loose £91 - when i have been saving for this holiday for almost three years.

I guess i really want youre advise as to whether im being unfair, or whether i should stand my ground and insists he comes?

Thank you all

If you've explained to your son all the arrangements which will be taking place if he stays home to go to the prom as you've explained it above, and he still wants to stay home instead of going on holiday with you, I'd let him stay home. You don't really want a moaning teen on your hands all holiday because you made him go, do you?

FatVonD

You're lucky you're only losing £91, DH's ex lost around £400 when DSS1 decided he didn't want to go :eek: