17yr old wasting his life

dithedancer

my son was exactly the same as yours. dropped out of college ( later learned he couldn't cope with the workload and do his hobby plus all the kids on the same course dropped out eventually because the tutor was a bully and instead of trying to spur them on ranted and raved at them and called them useless. he told me that he was on the wrong sort of course anyway and it wasn't what he really wanted to do) i lost my temper with him and escorted him to connextions after 6 months. we got him on a course that led him to get an apprenticeship in engineering. it's not ideally what he wants to do, he wanted to work on the railway but failed the railway interview at the third step (there were 5 steps in all) anyway he's happy where he is at the moment and the company hes with are great. be supportive and help where you can but let him know that he has to play his part too.

flutterbyuk25

soupdragon10 wrote: »

If the Princes Trust operate in your area http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/need_help.aspx they have a 12 week personal development programme which can help young people who lack confidence, aren't sure what they want to do, and want to make a change in their lives.

I run this Prince's Trust programme for 16-25 year olds. It is a fab programme and can really help with motivation/confidence/communication skills etc.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me

HTH

x

runninglea

Hi - mine did the same, I let him mope around the house until he was 18, now he is coming to work with me.

He makes sure his shirt and trousers and clean and ironed and is up and ready at 8am when i leave.

I know not everyone 'has a take a son to work policy' but it has given him some motivation.

lalinchante

My son left school 8 years ago and has yet to find a job. We tried everything, kindness to cruelty, but still he won't work.

He lives on job seekers and housing benefit is a great worry to us but still won't get a job.

I know two other people like this, one a 50 year old man kept by his wife because he won't work and similarly another man in his middle 50's kept by his live in partner.

strewth71

My lad did the same thing at 17, he moped around with no money as I refused to give him any for 2 years. He did apply for loads of jobs but with no experience he didn't stand a chance, when he was 19 he applied for an NHS apprenticeship doing medical records and he got a place. It's a full time wage for full time hours and he trains for a qualification as well - he loves it. I'm glad things worked out the way they did now as he's found something that suts him rather than just taking any job as I was trying to advise him. He will find his way but don't make life too cushy for him while he's not in work or training as you'll take away his motivation to get something. I wish him and you all the luck in the world x

LilacPixie

why did he drop out?? Find that out and then work on where to go from there. Huge differences between the advice given if he CBA, was being bullied, only chose X course to please you and really wanted to do Y.

Reggie_Rebel

Get him one of these

jackieb

How was he coping with college? Was he overwhelmed/stressed? How is he just now? Does he seem depressed? Is he going out or staying in his room?

jackieb

soupdragon10 wrote: »

With the job situation at the moment I suspect that he would struggle to find a job having dropped out of his course (you do not mention how he did in his GCSE's but do mention that he is bright so hopefully he has some qualfications).

At 17 he would find it difficult getting housing, registering as homeless would be very difficult, though not impossible, and consequently would struggle to get benefits such as JSA.

If the Princes Trust operate in your area http://www.princes-trust.org.uk/need_help.aspx they have a 12 week personal development programme which can help young people who lack confidence, aren't sure what they want to do, and want to make a change in their lives.

Young people can get depressed about their situation too - don't discount the idea that he may have concerns that he doesn't feel able to verbalise and this is why he seems demotivated.

My son has just started a Princes Trust course this week. It's early days but he's really enjoying getting out and meeting people. The last group did so well they got extra funding.

joeblack066

He needs to go to Connexions and see what Into Work type courses they have to offer.