four year old testing patience, how to manage behaviour?

Gingham_Ribbon

Our nearly 4 year old is a kind, relaxed child most of the time and over the last couple of weeks he's been very angry and demonstrating it by snatching, pushing and shouting. With some talking and lots of loving it all came spilling out of him as to why he was so angry. He went from angry to sad, and then it was all over. No more confusing behaviour.

If it's really out of character, I'd be looking for a root cause that may be confusing or upsetting her and take it from there. I didn't use any punishments. I made him stop, apologise and other than that I just chatted about behaviour and feelings and treating people kindly.

There were 2 occasions when I had to walk away though because I had begun to shout. But that did no harm either. He just carried on tipping all his toys over his floor and he was the one who had to pick them up.:D

mum2twinsx2

Thanks everyone:j
This morning was alot more smoother than the past few days.... but not back to normal just yet.

KiKi i think i will use your wise words as a bible, as it did work this morning.

The party we went to was painting pottery [it was my nieces birthday who is now 8] we were only at the place for hour if not less and i was sat with them all the time Kids breakable pottery arent great combo. They were off to macd`s after which we didnt go to. So i know nothing occured at the party.

After talking to my mum, ive come to conclusion;
She is either like me, and things lay dorment. Like when my parents split up it didnt effect me until like 4/6months down the line and my mum said i really played up for good few weeks. though i was two years older. Maybe she is the same and this is ill effect of me and the childrens dad splitting up....?
Or
She suffers with sleep apnea, and thats why she has the hospital appointment. Im wondering when she has episode she normally wakes goes back to sleep, if that the broken sleep is just becoming too much?

bylromarha

KiKi wrote: »

One great technique I use when kids say "no, I won't put my shoes on" or "no, I won't go to bed" is to:
a) tell them what WILL happen then
b) give them some control over the situation

Eg, "Molly, we're going out, so I need you to put your shoes on, but I want you to be very grown up and choose either the pink ones or the black ones for me". Or "Molly, you're going to bed now, but you can choose your princess pyjamas or your Hello Kitty pyjamas." "Would you prefer milk or water before you go to bed?"

So there's no negotiation whatsoever in what's going to happen (as there shouldn't be at this age), but she feels she does have control by getting a *limited* choice! Ie, she can't wear what she likes, or choose any old shoes - you give her a choice of 2 or 3.

I agree this is a good place to start, but any tips in this foloowing situation?

Where the little one is reading before this. You give them a 5 minute warning of what is going to happen in 5 minutes such as ...it'll be time to go to bed in 5 minutes, nearly time to climb in...response "okay then mummy"

5 minutes is up: right time to get into bed now, princess pyjamas or hello kitty pyjamas.

SCREAMED: NOOOOOO. I WILLLLL NOOOOOOT.

I hear that, but it is bedtime, would you like to choose your princess pyjamas or hello kitty pyjama to wear?

I WILLLLL NNNNOOOOOTTTTT GO TO BED (insert relevant instruction here)

I hear that , but it is bedtime. Please choose pyjamas now or I will choose them for you.

NOOOOOO YOOOOOUUUUUUU WON'T (whilst mustering as much strength as she can find to kick, stamp on your foot, hit you, scratch you)

Just wondered in case OP gets into this situation-which we get about once a fortnight with ours over bedtime, dinner, going to school - no triggers in the slightest, just Miss Independence being horrid.