Real life MMD: Should SIL help with fuel?

Timmymna

What a stupid question!
Of course they should pay a third, where's the moral dilemma in that?

bargainbetty

There is no reason why your SIL should not pay a third of the fuel bills - she is getting the benefit of the travel, and accordingly she would reasonably expect some say in the route you take.

However, and please, learn from my experience, discuss this before you go. I recently took my Mum on holiday for her 70th birthday. We went to Las Vegas, because that's where she has always wanted to go! I have friends in the states and one of them asked if she could fly up and join us for the weekend. We said yes, and she booked her flights, planning to stay two nights.

Due to a change in circumstances, she found herself in a position to stay a little longer. I said that would be fine, adding another night or two won't hurt. She changed her flights to arrive two hours after we did, and leave at the same time. She basically hijacked our trip, and stayed with us the entire time.

I told her that if the hotel noted there were three of us for the whole trip, we might have to pay a surcharge and she agreed to cover it if it happened. When we checked out, there was no surcharge applied. My mother, who was by this point fuming at various financial snubs, pointedly commented that we had got a good deal on the room - $750 for the week for the THREE of us at the MGM Grand. My friend agreed that it was an excellent deal I'd found, and excused herself to have a cigarette. At no point did she make any offer towards the room costs whatsoever, despite having added four nights to the trip and taken over our entire holiday.

Talk about it before you go. It's too late once you are there to find out the other person has different ideas.

Aldahbra

Why should she pay 1/3 of the cost of the hire of the car in which she has not chosen and is not insured to drive?

So unless she has been part of the decision making process in getting the car, that is not her expense. She may be intending to spend most of her time round the pool or on the beach!!

If she joins you for trips out using the car, then she should pay a contribution for the petrol used, 1/3 of the cost would be reasonable. I can't understand why you think she should pay 1/2 the cost, she would be subsidising you. However, you should be careful here because if you make her feel pressured into joining you on days out which she may not otherwise have gone on and possibly not budgeted for, it may not be reasonable for her to make a full 1/3 contribution.

I think if she offers you something for the petrol you should accept it, refuse it if it is more than 1/3, otherwise you should just let it be for the sake of family harmony. Next time make sure you all agree the details before anything is actually booked.

A.Jones

If she doesn't offer anything, don't ask her for anything. Take her out on a nice day trip to the desert. Then dump her.

bandyp

Absolutely she should pay her share - 1/3. Can't beleive you would think otherwise!

Katie-Kat-Kins

I wouldn't treat fuel separately, I'd arrange a kitty system for all the joint holiday spends (food, drink, fuel, entrance, fees, etc).

As for the car hire I'd probably expect a third contribution, although you would have hired a car anyway you may have hired a smaller one for two people, and she needs the use of the car too, but if you can afford to you might want to just wait and see if she broaches the issue.

I think a 50/50 split would be unfair, you should pay per person for everything.

The kitty system I had with my friend when we travelled together involved a little notebook in which we jotted down our spends in total as we went along and who had paid for them. When we had a spare minute we'd tot up what we had so far and see if we had paid for things in roughly equal measure or not (normally the passenger did this on a long drive) if one had contributed more the other would pay for the next few things. At the end of the holiday we totted up and evened things up. It was slightly faffy but worked. We just didn't write things down that weren't joint, like souveniers or gifts. It was better than a physical kitty and accounted for everything, food, drink, petrol, tolls, fees for galleries and museums and both cash and card purchases so we could maximise our money and avoid fees. It could work equally well with three people.

rawky

I think you should ask your wife and just go along with whatever she tells you to do. It's a philosophy that works in my house

Marco12452

Better ask your husband if he has said anything first, he may have offered to treat her. If he has you could end up looking a bit awkward ??
If not, she should pay a 1/3.

martafdz

I think 1/3 is right but I also think you have treated your SIL as a guest since you have not asked her about what car/what budget/ what insurance. You are just going to tell her the bill when she had no chance to have her say. She might have a friend in a car hire company who could give you a cheaper deal, or a discount from whatever. Does she know you are hiring a car and what kind? You are also assuming she might have problems to pay when for what you have said she has already booked her flight and accomodation. Chances are you are also saving money with the accomodation, since you share the room. She has booked a room in your place to be with you two, and thus maybe paying more than what she would have paid if she were to choose a place on her own. I think that it would be fair to contribute to the cost, but I would not be strict about it, since there will be so many different things you will not be splitting equally such as drinks / wine / meals, etc. I would put a kitty for all expenses such as meals, drinks and fuel. Just make a quick calculation on how much you expect to spend, divide by 3 and pay your share. Then use that money for meals, fuel and drinks. If you need more, you all add your bit again, if there is something left, you treat yourselves to a great meal at the end or whatever. But you should talk about this before going.

ellielambert

I went on a road trip with 4 friends last year and we split the fuel costs equally so I think 1/3 would be the best bet. Probably best to bring it up now to allow her to budget for it though.