Real life MMD: Should SIL help with fuel?

[Deleted User]

Drive to Arizona, tell her to get out of the car in an isolated spot and that she's not getting back in until she hands over some cash.

Then drive off anyway.

Seakay

Why on earth would you think that she should pay half?
Why is the subject of her contribution a moral dilemma for you?
She is already contributing, she has not been presented as being unwilling to contribute a fair share, for some reason you've made a unilateral decision on car hire so I hope that you've at least ensured that she is insured to drive if she wants to before you tell her what you've done. If you expect her to be an equal partner in this trip then you should involve her in all decisions before asking her to pay for them. For all you know she could have got a better deal on the car.
As it is you'll have to explain why you've gone ahead and made arrangements without her but that you'd still like her to contribute her one third share of the expense, which presumably is what you want.
Personally I would only suggest a contribution towards the fuel cost as you have behaved as though the car is for you and she is to be a passenger with no choice or say.

guestjim

WiseOldBird wrote: »

I think she should pay her third, and hopefully she will offer to do this. The only exception would be is that if you're a lot better off financially than her, and she has scrimped and saved for the holiday, you may want to be generous and bear the cost.

I agree entirely that would be the normal way to look at it, but perhaps there are some particular issues. On the assumption your SIL is your wife's sister what does your wife think. What was said to your SIL when she was deciding to come on holiday Did you, or your wife, imply that the car was already paid for, or invite her for the holiday.

I also presume that you get along well with your SIL, or why did you ask her along? How has she been in the past? How have you been with her in the past - have you often paid for things?

JayD

If she has already paid her bit re everything else, it seems extremely likely that she will at least chip in with the petrol when you re-fuel - and I would be happy enough with that, in your shoes. You might also find that it is her intention to treat you both to some of the meals along the way as a thank you for providing the transport and for doing all the driving.

If she does neither maybe a slight hint/encouragement will persuade her to share the car expenses but I wouldn't push it. As you rightly say, the cost of hiring and fuelling the car would still be there whether she came or not.

Cloudane

There's so much behind the scenes that we don't know. Would asking her cause some horrible family rift? Is she in financial difficulties and you're taking her on holiday to cheer her up?

I'd say in most cases (no unusual circumstances) just saying "the car hire is £200 so that's £66 each, the fuel agreement is full-to-full so WE will need to top it up on the way back" gets the point across that it's expected that everyone is paying their share.

When I go with my parents we just put everything on a Santander Zero card and divide it by 3 when we get home. Can't get much fairer than that.

budkin

What a mean spirited lot you all are!!!
if you were all friends then yes, each should pay an equal share, but this person is a family member, and on her own, and you would be hiring a car and fueling it anyway
Do you make a charge to your famiy members who join you at christmas?
if she should offer to contridute, then hopefully you will be gracious enough to refuse the offer
where does your wife stand in all of this, if my hubby wanted to charge my sister for ocupying a seat in a car that we were hiring anyway i would have something to say to him

Augustus_the_Strong

Of course she should pay - there are three of you, so split the car hire costs three ways. Keep a note of all the petrol costs and divide it up at the end. The stuff about you having to pay it anyway even if she didn't come is nonsense - if you and your wife didn't go, she'd have to pay the lot herself - what sort of logic is that? Just keep all fair and above board, and be open about everything.

yorkshireman99_2

I really can't decide on this one.

BUT she should be travelling with 'my wife and ME' not 'my wife and I'.

hennypenny_2

On holiday with a group of people in the states, and I shared a taxi with a married couple who insisted they were "together as one person" and I had to pay half the taxi fare to the airport. I had no choice as they handed over half the meter fare and jumped out, leaving me to pay the remainer. Since being part of a couple since then, I have NEVER done this. Split cost per person so if three people it's a third each.

Valhaz

When we holidayed with MIL she always insisted on paying her way. I think SIL should pay 1/3 of car hire and fuel irrespective of whether you would have had to hire car yourselves. This is assuming she is equally well off as yourselves. If you are much better off, perhaps suggest she helps with fuel or hire coasts.