Real life MMD: Should SIL help with fuel?

psdie

The only dilemma here is why she'd contribute 1/2 the petrol instead of 1/3! Does your wife run alongside the car or something?!

koloko

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samtheman1k

Of course she should pay her equal share.

scoobydoobydoo

Yes you would have to pay if you were on your own but so would she! Splitting it 3 ways is perfectly fair and is the way to go.

Is it my imagination or are the moral "dilemmas" that we have been gettting recently not really dilemmas at all?!

dizzie

I'd say it depends on your circumstances - if you're all a bit pinched then why not talk about splitting all costs three ways (I fail to see why she should be asked to pay half of the costs though! I don't think it is reasonable to apply some special BOGOF rule to couples?). If financial circumstances are not so tight for you and she has relatively similar financial circumstances, why not:

1. Set up a fuel "kitty" and split the cost three ways for this (I say this on the basis that this is a touring
holiday so a vehicle to "tour in" is an essential travel cost and could be quite expensive to run. If I was going on such a trip with my extended family, I'd be expecting to have to contribute towards the cost of this....and a car is not going to be as fuel efficient with three people and their luggage as opposed to two)

2. Pay for the car hire yourselves (seeing as though you'd have done so anyway). I think that this is a reasonable goodwill gesture towards your family member.

The above solution means that you and your partner will save a bit on fuel costs by taking along your SIL, whilst still being generous enough not to insist on a proportion of the car hire costs too. It could spoil the holiday if you try to go the whole hogg and charge her for every penny...imagine trying to do this with all of the holiday costs...sitting down in restaurants and whipping out your calculator to tot up what everyone has had to eat and drink to the nearest penny in order..just to ensure that everyone pays an accurate share of the bill! That wouldn't be my idea of a "relaxing" family holiday!

icedgemma

Splitting it 3 ways seems the most logical solution here... It's only fair!

dimbo61

Unless your SIL is going to share your bedroom !!!! I guess she will have to pay for a room for herself.
If you can afford a holiday and the car hire does it cost any more to take one passenger or two?
The only problem might be is how well you get on with your SIL and will both sisters fight like cat and dog for the whole of the trip?
If your SIL earns more than you then she should help with the costs but only you know that.

SUZYBLU_2

If 3 adults go on holiday together, no matter what the relationship, it should be a straight 3 way split - I would have a kitty, much fairer all round

scrimperdave

The amount of fuel you use increases with the load in the car. If your SIL and her luggage were not in the car, you would use less fuel.

Seems fair to me that she should contribute one third of your gasoline bill. I'll leave the question of how and when you raise this with her to the forum psychologists.:D

alixandrea

Yes, she should pay 1/3rd of the costs. Whenever I travel long distance and have passengers along with me I ask them to pay a share of the fuel costs, even if I was going to that place anyway. My passengers would have also gone to wherever the place was and if they'd paid their own costs by driving there or taking the train/bus, they would have ended up paying more than a share of going together costed.

Speak to her about it before you go though, just to make sure she's OK with arrangements. It's much better to be clear about these things than for different people to have different expectations, which can lead to awkwardness and a spoilt holiday.

Have a great time, I'm very jealous!!

Alixandrea