Real life MMD: Should SIL help with fuel?

jonesjw

She should pay 1/3. No argument.

streatley

oldnewhand wrote: »

Of course as many have said everything needs to be agreed at the beginning. The first question is was she invited and how was that worded was it an offer of a holiday or of companionship.. or did SIL invite herself? If the latter, she certainly should pay her third. If it was an offer of companionship - maybe she had been bereaved or a relationship had ended, it would be fair if she offered to contribute her third but if she was offered the holiday there is less obligation but dependent upon the relative financial circumstances of the individuals a contribution would show gratitude.
Not all extended family holidays should have shared financial arrangements - when I lost my mother I wanted us to have a family holiday so included my children and grandchildren in decision making and paid for flights villa 2 cars; they paid for their own passports and we mucked in with food shopping not a even split as there was us as a couple, family of 4 and single son but no one felt hard done by. We all have happy memories brought about by a sad occasion, money wasn't the priority on this occasion.

At last on page five! Someone who asks about the original basis of the joint venture.

If it was "We are going on holiday, would you like to join us?" you cannot expect a contribution. Or, "Please come on holiday with us." why are you not paying her airfare and other costs as well? Of course, if the original conversation was "We need someone to share the cost of our holiday, are you interested?" She should pay. Also whether she should contribute or not will also depend on how much participation she has in the decision making process before and during the journey.

On another point, why does sister-in-law become SIL? Surely at worst case it should be SiL, better would be S-i-L, but why not just type "sister-in-law" or are other posters too lazy?

Unfortunately, I do expect a lot of "flak" from this message.

pineapple

streatley wrote: »

At last on page five! Someone who asks about the original basis of the joint venture.

I think you will find that this was raised before page five, not least by me!

airheadgreg

Unless you're really short of cash (in which case why're you going on holiday to the US?) then yeah 1/3 for everything. But otherwise, a contribution of 1/3 for the fuel should be sufficient, leave the car hire out of it.

TBagpuss

I think you need to dicsuss this with her before you go - as part of a more general conversation/discussion about the holiday.

I cannot see any circumstances in which it would be fair to expect her to pay half; there is only one of her, and two of you. And bear in mind she will already be paying more than you in that hotel rooms are generally sold 'per room' not 'per person' in the US so her accommodation will be more expensive

Other points to consider:

- did you consult her before you booked the car? As this is a touring holiday, presumably it was inevitable that *a* car would be hired, but if you booked a more expensive vehicle or for extras then in discussion whet she should conributre bear in mind that her choice, had she been asked, might have been for a more basis model.

- Is she going to have equal use of the car? for instance, has the route been agreed between you, or if you haven't fixed a route, will she get a say in where you go, how long you stay in any one place etc? if you are staying for a few days in one place, will she get to pick where you go on day drips at all? Will she be able to use the car if she wants to go somewhere and you and/or your wife don't? If yes, then it is likely to be reasonable that she contributes to the hire costs, either 1/3 , or 1/3 of the basic price if you added upgrades without consultation.

Also think about the rest of the holiday to ensure that you all have imialr expectations. For example - are you expecting to do everythign togethe, or will you be splitting up to explore separately at your destinations? Are you planning to share all meals, and if so, consider establishing at the outset whether you plan to split the bills equally to to each cover your own share of the costs, or whether you want to establish a 'kitty' to cover this type of costs (this may not work if, for instance, your SIL is a teetotaller and you & your wife enjoy a drink, or vice versa.

However, if the start point was that you and your wife deceded to go on this holiday, then invited her to join you on the basis she paud her own flights and accommodation do bear in mind that she may very reasonably have expected that you were paying for the car, as you'd already arrangmed it and her beig there makes little difference - in which case a small donation of less than 1/3) would be perferctly reasonable.

Joan_Maudsley

Your sister-in-law has paid for her flight, hotels etc and so has incurred a large cost. You are the host, she is not increasing your expenses re the car - don't be so mean. I would expect her to chip in for food and entertainment.

Ebenezer_Screwj

She should pay her share of all expenses involving the three of you. Ask her for her share of the car rental and then take it in equal turns to fill up the car with petrol.

Freddie_Snowbits

If she does not pay, on the kerb she should stay.

Sparkle80

If it was me I would expect all of the car costs to be split three ways.

gorgeousgirlie

NEVER EVER book anything you expect someone else to help bear the cost of, without checking and confirming with them first - preferably in writing. Dilemma averted!