Contact with ex husband re kids. Whats normal?

PasturesNew

Maybe he's telling her you're sending texts when she hears his phone bleeping ... when actually he's receiving them from "his next/new/other bird".

headoutthesand

BTW what I wondered is whether he's telling her that you're texting when it's someone else

Maybe he's telling her you're sending texts when she hears his phone bleeping ... when actually he's receiving them from "his next/new/other bird".

oooooh didn't think of that :rotfl:

He did say that he hides his phone incase he gets a text from me and she gets upset. Maybe you're right. He has someone else.

They both were married when they started the affair. Her husband was none the wiser so I phoned and told him. A relationship that started on lies and deciet is not, in my opinion, going to be plain sailing if one or the other is insecure.

To be fair on him, I don't think he would cheat again. They work constant night shift together and live together. I don't think he'd be able to.

that was sarcastic, obviously. When I read it back it perhaps came across as the opposite. Sorry!

I did wonder but it made me laugh.

I realise afer writing all this down that they have a problematic relationship and they just want to use me as an excuse.

I told him that if they break up, I really shouldn't have to know about it other than maybe to let me know that she doesn't live there any more. If I have a relationship and broke up, which I have, he is none the wiser.

They just don't seem to understand that I don't care.

I'll text him later and tell him we can discuss on Wednesday (joking btw)

Penny-Pincher!!

Ask him if he has mastered the knack of telepathy then:D

PP
xx

anxious_mum

Peachyprice got it right, the children have two parents, and these parents need to communicate, especially at the ages your children are! Would he prefer you to communicate via telepathy (nice one penny-pincher) Your ex and his gf both sound as if they are very insecure in their relationship. The safety and well-being of your children comes first, and if you need to tell him something, then just do it and let him deal with it.

I've been divorced for almost 15 years now. My boys are 15 and 17, and when their dad rings me and asks when he can see them, I tell him to ring the boys, I'm not their social secretary (although I get along really well with my ex and his wife). Then they make their own arrangements between themselves. Your children are too young to do this, and your ex (and his gf) should understand this.

gratefulforhelp_2

The OH has realised that a man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy...

I don't think that text is a suitable way to communicate with the ex, but that's for me, I can see the advantages. This doesn't seem like excessive texting or contact. I would flippantly do what clearingout says, and laugh it off, maybe say that if he was more sensible on the 'phone you would 'phone instead.

I would also tell him this comes into the category of "his problem" and keep records of texts just in case.

pupsicola

I cant see why he would have an issue with you texting him such basic info regarding the kids. Parents need to communicate about their children too meet their needs. 5 texts in 4 weeks is hardly excessive is it!!!!

I would put the ball in his court and ask him how he would prefer to be notified about important issues regarding his kids. Sounds like either he or his oh has a few insecurity problems. Bet your glad he is your ex, he sounds like hard work.

pupsicola

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

The OH has realised that a man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy...

:T So true :T

headoutthesand

pupsicola wrote: »

:T So true :T

Ditto

I know I'd be better speaking to him face to face but when I pick the kids up, he puts them in the car and runs as quick as he can. He's always on edge too as though he's being timed so that usually ends up in an arguement.

I'm watching Corrie just now and laughing at the storyline where Lloyd is jealous of his gf getting a present from her son because the ex bought it. This is my life!!!!! :rotfl:

I struggled to get to the shops in the run up to Christmas so I just bought ex a case of stella from the kids. When I gave him it on Christmas day, he walked down the edge of the drive out of sight of the livingroom window, and left the beer sitting at the back of the car out of sight. She has issues with me buying him presents from the kids. Now granted, on this occasion, it was not something that the kids got to go and pick etc etc etc. but it was Christmas and the car hadn't moved for 3 weeks because of the snow so I was struggling to get to shops

Jinx

I think when you guys are both collecting from school etc then there will inevitably be more contact.... Your ex should be telling his partner that its about his kids and they will always be number 1!!!

My daughter used to go to her dads just at the weekend when she was school age so there was minimal contact, but there was some about pick up/drop off times/ parties/ needs a special outfit for an event - pick your reason!! It was text or phone call and his new partner wasnt too keen.. It was only when my daughter was older and could call her dad herself that we had practically zero contact even though we were amicable....

pupsicola

Jinx wrote: »

Your ex should be telling his partner that its about his kids and they will always be number 1!!!

I think it is the kids that are the crux of the problem with your ex oh not you. Some insecure people struggle with "step-kids", they are a reminder that their oh once loved someone else.