Help, gross misconduct!

Aliasaila

I've spent most of my life supporting my mum and she couldn't even let me have half an hour to come to terms with losing the one steady income into our house (she only works when it suits her and even though dad does the hours his income isn't steady). I don't hate her and I told her that but like everything else the situation had to revolve around her, I get that she's ill but just now I can't deal with her and with work.

I've got the book I signed when I got the card, the handbook at the time, the current hand book and the disciplinary handbook.

And please note I'm only getting stroppy at another colleague who clearly hasn't took the time to read their copy of the book, I've never known 50 colleagues to be sacked at once on the lead up to Christmas either.

Aliasaila

We didn't miss them we just never really thought about them before, same as we don't question shampoo when we see it in the bathroom. Hidden in plain sight I think is the expression?

And mum does the shop because she has to, if one of us does it for whatever reason (like if she's sick) we'll have forgot something vital, bought a brand she doesn't like (that she liked last week), not bought enough of something, bought too much of something else. She goes round the house re-doing all of the housework because she doesn't think it's right unless she's done it, made sense to let her control the shopping as well.

You know writing about this is making me realise how bad mum actually is.

younganddumb_2

I agree with a previous poster, as you're employed by ASDA i'd advise you to start looking for a new job ASAP! Unfortunately! My fiance worked for ASDA in the warehouse, and he too was given a discount card. His mam had the second card, and obviously hadn't read / listened to the rules for the card, and one day when out shopping with her daughter she allowed her to use the discount card after she had used it herself. My fiance knew nothing about this, had thought she was only using it for herself (she had been, this was a one off). He was at work when this happened, and was promptly taken to the office and advised he had been suspended on full pay, (luckily!) and was marched off the premises! (Bit too extreme if you ask me!)
After various disciplinary meetings, he was sacked on the grounds of gross misconduct (which it states in their handbook).
They are rather extreme in the way they do things, especially if it's a one off etc. They should at least just retrieve the card from the staff member & family member as a warning or whatever! Never mind, this was 2 years ago now!

Despite my negative story, I'd just like to wish you tons of luck, and hope you don't need to stress over it for too much longer!

I also agree with your brother in that you should take your mum to the dr and get him to write a statement or what have you regarding her illness. Get as much back up as you can to defend yourself. & If you have to, bring in to the situation all of the dealings you've had to put up with!

Best of luck,

Young & Dumb! X

Aliasaila

I don't want to bring everything else into it, just want to get it resolved ASAP. I'm not happy about this meeting being half way through a shift though, how am I supposed to concentrate on work with this hanging over me?

robpw2

Aliasaila wrote: »

I've spent most of my life supporting my mum and she couldn't even let me have half an hour to come to terms with losing the one steady income into our house (she only works when it suits her and even though dad does the hours his income isn't steady). I don't hate her and I told her that but like everything else the situation had to revolve around her, I get that she's ill but just now I can't deal with her and with work.

I've got the book I signed when I got the card, the handbook at the time, the current hand book and the disciplinary handbook.

And please note I'm only getting stroppy at another colleague who clearly hasn't took the time to read their copy of the book, I've never known 50 colleagues to be sacked at once on the lead up to Christmas either.

Aliasaila wrote: »

We didn't miss them we just never really thought about them before, same as we don't question shampoo when we see it in the bathroom. Hidden in plain sight I think is the expression?

And mum does the shop because she has to, if one of us does it for whatever reason (like if she's sick) we'll have forgot something vital, bought a brand she doesn't like (that she liked last week), not bought enough of something, bought too much of something else. She goes round the house re-doing all of the housework because she doesn't think it's right unless she's done it, made sense to let her control the shopping as well.

You know writing about this is making me realise how bad mum actually is.

im confused .. you say how you have spent most of your life supporting your mum (so you must be aware of her "illness") yet you then claim to not know whats going on and how you let her do everything such as shopping etc ..

maxwellhouse

I work in Local Government and have recently had a case of Gross Misconduct brought against me, I have been in the same job for over 20 years. My advice would be to get some legal advice... do you have a Union representative? It helped me a lot to see things clearly.

Uncertain

Aliasaila wrote: »

And I'm sorry dmg but come on, the highlighted phrase is utter nonsense, there's no point in having employment laws if that is true. Asda is big but it isn't immune to the law.

You are of course correct, up to a point......

There are a significant number of employers (and I know nothing about ASDA) who take the view "Hire who we like, fire who we don't like, dig our heels in and if all else fails pay up". The average ET award is only a few thousand so many are far less. The employer is not going to be fined heavily (or at all!) let alone carted off to jail for sacking you unfairly (in law). The worst that is going to happen is, after months of battling against a big corporate machine, they are ordered to pay you a few pounds.

Sadly, that is the way it works. They look at the big picture and take the average overall cost. Many aggrieved ex employees will not have the resolve to battle so this reduced their costs further.

I'm not in any way saying you should let them get away with it (if indeed you are dismissed). I'm just pointing out that, to them, you are an irrelevant tiny irritation and a minute part of a national HR policy.

The only plus point is if you do end up battling and winning you will at least get your money, unlike many people who work for small companies.

Sorry.

Aliasaila

Thanks everyone.

Trying to explain my mum is hard, I've been worrying about her since I was old enough to realise that other peoples mums don't need medicine to be nice to people. This is the latest in a long line of stupid things my mum has done, at the moment the whole house is revolving around the bankrupcy, we never stopped to count bleach bottles because we had the shopping receipts to send to Jim and they looked alright. We were too busy dealing with Next, Littlewoods, M&S store card, Debenhams store card (that she's still spending on!) and trying to convince her that if she went out to work she'd be able to afford to actually buy things for herself.

starrystarry

Just checked in to see if there was any update. Here's hoping no news is good news.

FWIW, I think you were a bit foolish/naive to give the card to your mum when you knew she had problems, but I don't think you deserve to lose your job because of it.

euripidesralph

Aliasaila wrote: »

Thanks everyone.

Trying to explain my mum is hard, I've been worrying about her since I was old enough to realise that other peoples mums don't need medicine to be nice to people. This is the latest in a long line of stupid things my mum has done, at the moment the whole house is revolving around the bankrupcy, we never stopped to count bleach bottles because we had the shopping receipts to send to Jim and they looked alright. We were too busy dealing with Next, Littlewoods, M&S store card, Debenhams store card (that she's still spending on!) and trying to convince her that if she went out to work she'd be able to afford to actually buy things for herself.

Hi

I just wanted to say I hope things go well for you, I have had to deal with that sort of MH issue in a family member, and its so difficult. I completely empathise with the hiding in plain sight issue, which meant a family member was able to go to prison twice for the same offence (the second time when we thought we were watching like hawks) because we had no idea how much they were accumulating with their (in her case not that im suggesting its yours) stolen funds.

I hope the meeting goes well but more that your mum gets some professional help so that you can live a more normal life