Pregnant married with 2 kids and only £5 till end of month

jennikitten

Alisonb1975 wrote: »

Wow! £875 rent seems a lot for a 3 bedroomed house but I guess that is maybe not that much living in Berkshire.

I'm confused, the OP says in signature that they are saving up £10k for a deposit; that is one hell of a cheap house when min dep these days is 20-30% :S

Pitlanepiglet

Blobby8 wrote: »

Sorry "sugarpants" no, it will not just get better, you have a problem with budgeting, you are spending unwisely, the sooner you take on board the constructive criticism the better.
You are responsible for three children, wise up. I dont care who thinks this is harsh or rude, but having no food is not good.

I popped by to see how Sugarpants was getting along and I'm disappointed to see that she hasn't been back.

Sadly having looked at her previous threads there seems to be a cycle of boom and bust so it does look like there are some significant problems with budgeting and dealing with the reality of life.

People have taken the trouble of giving her some really good advice of the last couple of years yet she's now here with no money to feed the kids but a shiny car, new leather sofas, a new dining table and new rugs & accessories.

I suspect that the patterns are too deeply ingrained.

Sugarpants, I'd love you to prove me wrong, maybe this really is your LightBulb Moment?

Blobby8_2

Hopefully the lightbulb moment will come for sugarpants before the old man has his lightbulb moment. Six days a week, hates the job, close to packing it in, not good signs I'm afraid.

nu1isit?

I don't know if it's any help sugarpants, but ways we've saved money on the little 'uns, essential costs in the past is:

*the wife breastfed them both;
*reusable nappies (not for the squeamish, but your gonna have to be close to poo at some point if you've got kids ). If you don't want to, or it's not practical for you to use them, own brands at boots, asda, tesco are often just as good;
*the wife would puree the food we were having, so the little un could have the same. Saves on expensive jars. If you want jars there's plenty of supermarket own brands, or wait until the main brand has deals...
*If you need prams, etc. carboots, thrift stalls/markets, ebay. We payed £6 for one :j, that was a 'get by' pram (it looked newish). It lasted 7 months, thats not bad going - under a pound a months use. Some people pay hundreds for a pram they'll use for just over a year and a bit. Then it ends up in a skip :eek:...
*Clothes, toys etc. can be bought at, charity shops, car boots and NCT sales. We've saved a bit in the past doing that. Some people have turned their noses up at us, when they find out we've bought stuff there. But if we can buy good quality clothes for £1.50, that should cost 100% more, then we'll do it. Who's more fool when they hand over their money . Kids grow out of stuff pretty quick, and get bored of 'stuff' quickly too. As you'll know having two too.

Hope this helps in some way sugarpants, and good luck. Hope you and your family are okay....

Blobby8_2

nu1isit? wrote: »

IKids grow out of stuff pretty quick, and get bored of 'stuff' quickly too.

Hope this helps in some way sugarpants, and good luck. Hope you and your family are okay....

Oh, I do hope she takes notice of this, you are an inspiration.

Savvy_sewing

I think the OP has been frightened away by all the negative critisism, rather then the positive support.
Some people are not very good with money, but its not really for us to judge? She asked for help and ideas, and thats really all we can do. Its difficult if you have a history of boom or bust life style, but oneday, the lightbulb may turn on!

I hope if OP does come back and read, she will take on the good ideas and not the negative ones.!
We are all prone to judge others, me included, but sometimes I do feel that you need to walk a mile in thier shoes before you can condem.
What is a huge amount to some is a small amount to others. We do not know what was the OP's wages in times gone by.
Its not easy to downsize as many on here, and the BR threads will tell you. I know I talk from experience. From a relatively "luxurious" life with staff around the home, when I was a child, to having to work all the hours god gave cleaning the loo's in a pub after a saturday night!
I have lived on both sides of the coin. I assure you, its not easy.
Last year I was on £4600 for the year! no easy change in life. The only way has to be up!
Sorry, didnt mean to hijack.

Pernicious

To be fair there's not been much negative criticism, most criticism has been constructive, & if you're not willing to listen to constructive criticism you're not going to get very fair I think.

You have to recognise your problem & then recognise that YOU have to change it, you can't go asking for advice & completely ignore what someone says to you just because it's not what you wanted to hear, & I fear that's the trouble here - since no one has given her the easy answer, where she doesn't really have to put much effort in/give up nothing she's just not interested. She'll come back another day in exactly the same boat, with exactly the same complaints.

I just hope she starts to realise that no one here can help her until she helps herself & that includes listening to the "negative criticism" about giving up the new car so she can feed her kids! That shouldn't even need questioning but I guess some people's priorities are different to mine.

SeriouslySeekingtoSave

Mooloo wrote: »

I think the OP has been frightened away by all the negative critisism, rather then the positive support.
Some people are not very good with money, but its not really for us to judge? She asked for help and ideas, and thats really all we can do. Its difficult if you have a history of boom or bust life style, but oneday, the lightbulb may turn on!

I hope if OP does come back and read, she will take on the good ideas and not the negative ones.!
We are all prone to judge others, me included, but sometimes I do feel that you need to walk a mile in thier shoes before you can condem.
What is a huge amount to some is a small amount to others. We do not know what was the OP's wages in times gone by.
Its not easy to downsize as many on here, and the BR threads will tell you. I know I talk from experience. From a relatively "luxurious" life with staff around the home, when I was a child, to having to work all the hours god gave cleaning the loo's in a pub after a saturday night!
I have lived on both sides of the coin. I assure you, its not easy.
Last year I was on £4600 for the year! no easy change in life. The only way has to be up!
Sorry, didnt mean to hijack.

I totally agree with this. I know that people sometimes have problems with money but if they are here for advice then if you have the time please remember to be a little gentle. You may be completely right about 'well it's good advice and if the person doesn't wise up then they are going to be in a huge amount of trouble and it will be all their stupid fault' but if you really want to help someone, then a kind word can help a spoonsful of salt go down a little easier. If you don't care that being harsh can scare people who are already in trouble away, then are you really here to help or maybe just here to feel good about yourself?

I could be wrong and I don't want to get blasted by people who disagree with me. I just know that Martin set up these forums to be supportive. Yes, I agree with constructive critique but remember some people are hurting and maybe not so good with money as you might be. We all have faults and realising it and asking for help is the first step.

honeybear68

I must admit having read all this through again I agree, I often say you can't help someone if they can't help themselves: my dad always said to me you can offer advice and you can listen to advice but you dont have to take the advice, I guess in this case it's the later, shame I've done rather well with all the advice and comments have been taken on board.

theres a lot of help on here and a lot of support I do hope sugarpants comes back and takes on board what has been said.

honeybear68

SeriouslySeekingtoSave wrote: »

I totally agree with this. I know that people sometimes have problems with money but if they are here for advice then if you have the time please remember to be a little gentle. You may be completely right about 'well it's good advice and if the person doesn't wise up then they are going to be in a huge amount of trouble and it will be all their stupid fault' but if you really want to help someone, then a kind word can help a spoonsful of salt go down a little easier. If you don't care that being harsh can scare people who are already in trouble away, then are you really here to help or maybe just here to feel good about yourself?

I could be wrong and I don't want to get blasted by people who disagree with me. I just know that Martin set up these forums to be supportive. Yes, I agree with constructive critique but remember some people are hurting and maybe not so good with money as you might be. We all have faults and realising it and asking for help is the first step.

Martin is a great person and where would we all be without him, sometimes I just put my foot in at the wrong
time.