child maintenance

DUTR

newyearnewme wrote: »

OP if I understand correctly your ex does 8 hours overtime a week? How much is he on a hour? And is overtime at flat rate or time or enhanced say time and a half as that *may* make the overtime worth fighting over!
For example he earns 10 per hour (no enhancement for overtime) and on average does 7 hours per week overtime (allowing for 4 weeks AL and two weeks sick;
52 (weeks in year) -4 (annual leave) -2 (weeks sick) = 46 (weeks that overtime is completed) x 8 (hours overtime per week actual)/52 (weeks in year) = 7 hours a week
If he earns £10 per hour that is £70 per week - £17.50 (for tax and national insurance rough figs) - £13.10 (25% of overtime - tax and insurance) would leave your ex £40 (rough) for 10 hours overtime. Would he continue the overtime for £40 as if he stops you will not see any?
Is £13 worth the hassle?
But equally if you can not agree on this the chances of a private agreement lasting are low as to have a private arrangement requires trust and understanding from both parties and be willing to compromise?
If you want to post up his overtime rates someone may be able to give exact figs for tax and insurance, also to do the overtime does he incur extra costs ie travel to work, lunch as you may find that once these costs have come out of what he is left that he doesn't bother? Or is overtime compulsory (as again this may affect your decision)
Obvisouly the more he earns an hour will make the fighting for it more beneficial to you and more likely that he will continue the overtime if the maintenance includes overtime

My wages are 0.685 of gross, so in the example above from £10/hr would net £6.85/hr *8 =£54.8 then take away the 25% =£41.1, hardly anything for 8hrs graft then as you say travelling and lunch etc reduces that even more

newyearnewme_2

OP sorry i misunderstood the question I thought that you were asking if overtime should be included for a private arrangement? And for a private arrangement nothing has to be included/excluded as it is a private arrangement therefore I thought I would demonstrate what you were possibly fighting over but i am glad that you are willing to compromise lets hope your ex is as sensible!

**Patty**

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

i have now said if he pays for 2 of the childrens mobile contracts which comes to 40 per month, then i will accept what he offered. he has yet to come back and let me no if thats acceptable to him or not. so we will see what his response is. thank you for your help

As someone who got burned when my ex agreed to this.......please make sure those contracts are in HIS name only.

My ex husband agreed to a pay a £25 a month contract for our teenage DD and after 2 months into a 2 yr contract.....stopped.

No explanation, nothing.

He later stopped paying via private agreement for but thats another issue.

74jax

**Patty** wrote: »

As someone who got burned when my ex agreed to this.......please make sure those contracts are in HIS name only.

My ex husband agreed to a pay a £25 a month contract for our teenage DD and after 2 months into a 2 yr contract.....stopped.

No explanation, nothing.

He later stopped paying via private agreement for but thats another issue.

**Patty** nothing to do with your quote but I LOVE your signature! So true!

Fang_3

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

thank you for everyones replys. i appreciate that people have different views on the subject of child maintenance. this is not overtime that he does occasionally this is overtime that is done weekly. ie friday hours are classed as overtime the only time he gets a basic pay is holidays ans if he off sick.so granted its not a lot of hours over the week but would make a difference on his annual income.

FANG my kids are teenagers as to getting a job that would not be a possibility as i have considerable health issues that are degenerative and will only get worse as time goes on. i do understand that when kids leave full time education that i will have a drop in income, but by then the mortgage will have been paid off so it should balance things out. as to him finding somewhere to live at present he is living with his parents but i suppose he has the option to move in with the woman that he left me for where they will both be working.

Bloomin Freezing2 thank you for your comments as i said i dont want to involve the csa i would rather sort it out together this is not money for me but for his kids. who he hasnt given a single penny to since he left not even pocket money.

pinkpig08 since the children found out about the other person they dont want to see him has he tried to talk to them no. he has thrown his dummy out of the pram as they didnt approve of what he has done. he basically has told them if thats how you feel have a good life. as to his parents they never wanted me in their family we have been together over 22 years and since the split they have broken all contact with me and havent even tried to contact the kids as when it all came out in the open to protect thier son they tried to get our eldest child to lie to me as to where dad was the night before. as he left child with his parents while he went to see his gf. that was the 1st time child had stayed over with him since the split. so far the kids have lost their dad and it looks their only living grandparents. all in the name of protecting him.

grey_lady i have to agree with you to me 25% of net income is just that and as his overtime is included in his wages then that is what it is based on.

i never wanted any of this like a lot of people i thought i was married for life it is him that is turning this petty by throwing his dummy out of the pram whenever he dont get his own way. ive lost my best friend and i miss that. but hey ho thats life. lol

I read your previous thread. Embellishing the story to garner sympathy is not wise. I think you should remember that he has been paying all your expenses since he left which he absolutely doesn't have to do, so he's not quite the bad guy you're apparently so desperate to paint him as.

Actually sod 'embellishing' you're outright lying. Above you've claimed that your in laws have 'broken off all contact since he left' and yet on your previous thread (posted after he left) you were off out to lunch with your mother in law, and your father in law has 'tears in his eyes' when he sees you. I suspect you'll lose quite a bit of sympathy for lying.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2848208

Jinx

I would look at the last couple of years salary and work out a maintenance contribution from that. I do think some overtime should be included in the calculation as if the dad was still at home everyone would benefit from the overtime cash so the child should still benefit a little. ( I think this may be why the CSA counts it)

Having said that I do believe that the NRP should still be able to live and regardless of the regs if the parents can come to a workable agreement that would be best.

whichwaytuturn

FANG thank you for your comments. I am not embellishing anything to gain sympathy i will repeat I ONLY ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION. As to paying my expenses yes at the BEGINNING yes he did pay for the household bills as it was his choice to do so. as he didnt want to leave his children without anything. Did you notice the dates of those posts by any chance as a lot of stuff has happened since then.

I am in no way trying to paint him as a bad guy if it comes across that way then i apologies. why i would try and paint him as a bad guy when i still love him and he is the father of my kids. i dont even hate him i do not like his behavior towards his children or me at the moment.

As to my in laws again did you notice the dates of the threads that was when they wasnt sure what was happening with him and said woman, yes fil did have tears in his eyes when he saw me that time. but since those threads things have changed quite dramatically where they are concerned. As the more time he has spent staying with gf and hiding the truth from the kids the more they have protected him. they have lied to me to cover up where he is i havent seen them both since approx 18th nov.

up untill the time the kids found out he did have sort of contact with him but it was willy nilly. they found out bout gf at beginning of dec and since then they havent wanted to see them and has thrown his dummy out of the pram.

As to embellishing or lying i have done nothing of the sort. i dont want peoples sympathy all i wanted was a simple question asked and that was is regular overtime included in working out child maintenance.

Thank you once again to those that have given me advise.

DUTR

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

FANG thank you for your comments. I am not embellishing anything to gain sympathy i will repeat I ONLY ASKED A SIMPLE QUESTION. As to paying my expenses yes at the BEGINNING yes he did pay for the household bills as it was his choice to do so. as he didnt want to leave his children without anything. Did you notice the dates of those posts by any chance as a lot of stuff has happened since then.

I am in no way trying to paint him as a bad guy if it comes across that way then i apologies. why i would try and paint him as a bad guy when i still love him and he is the father of my kids. i dont even hate him i do not like his behavior towards his children or me at the moment.

As to my in laws again did you notice the dates of the threads that was when they wasnt sure what was happening with him and said woman, yes fil did have tears in his eyes when he saw me that time. but since those threads things have changed quite dramatically where they are concerned. As the more time he has spent staying with gf and hiding the truth from the kids the more they have protected him. they have lied to me to cover up where he is i havent seen them both since approx 18th nov.

up untill the time the kids found out he did have sort of contact with him but it was willy nilly. they found out bout gf at beginning of dec and since then they havent wanted to see them and has thrown his dummy out of the pram.

As to embellishing or lying i have done nothing of the sort. i dont want peoples sympathy all i wanted was a simple question asked and that was is regular overtime included in working out child maintenance.

Thank you once again to those that have given me advise.

The simple answer is there are two answers, ideally yes he should include the overtime, but with a private arrangement there is more room for flexibility and until both parties agree things may drag on on that score.
It is not up to the children who you or he sees, as long as the new partner is not bringing any harm to them.
But back to the simple question, yes the overtime will be included if the assesment is done by the csa, but for a private arrangement the figures are just a guide

whichwaytuturn

DUTR I have given thim the option of not including said overtime and paying the mobile contracts for the 2 of the kids that have them as they are on his contract, or to pay the correct amount and i will pay him the money for said contracts. up until now he hasnt responded so will wait and see if he responds.

up untill the time the kids found out he did have sort of contact with him but it was willy nilly. they found out bout gf at beginning of dec and since then they havent wanted to see them and has thrown his dummy out of the pram.

the bit i have highlighted in red is meant to be him not them. that was my mistake. The reasons they dont want to see him all differ as they each have their own expectations of their dad. As to her they never wnt to have anything to do with her.

According to NRP he has told the children that they dont need to know anything about her. he has told her that she dont need to know anything about them or his previous life with us. he told me she is not going to meet his parents as there is no need. so everybody is in there seperate boxes. its seems a bit odd to me but then thats my opinion.

Thnk you for answering the question regarding the overtime. the ball is in his court as to which of the 2 options he takes, he just has to let me know. then i can move forward with my own life.

DUTR

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

DUTR I have given thim the option of not including said overtime and paying the mobile contracts for the 2 of the kids that have them as they are on his contract, or to pay the correct amount and i will pay him the money for said contracts. up until now he hasnt responded so will wait and see if he responds.

up untill the time the kids found out he did have sort of contact with him but it was willy nilly. they found out bout gf at beginning of dec and since then they havent wanted to see them and has thrown his dummy out of the pram.

the bit i have highlighted in red is meant to be him not them. that was my mistake. The reasons they dont want to see him all differ as they each have their own expectations of their dad. As to her they never wnt to have anything to do with her.

According to NRP he has told the children that they dont need to know anything about her. he has told her that she dont need to know anything about them or his previous life with us. he told me she is not going to meet his parents as there is no need. so everybody is in there seperate boxes. its seems a bit odd to me but then thats my opinion.

Thnk you for answering the question regarding the overtime. the ball is in his court as to which of the 2 options he takes, he just has to let me know. then i can move forward with my own life.

I don't know how old the children are, I am from the school that children don't need mobiles (certainly not contracts), but hey ho, Yes indeed suggest the that he contribute something eg 25% net (with or without overtime) what you choose to do with it your end is then up to you.
I would say if he has not responded within 4 weeks, open a case with the csa, he may run but he won't be able to hide (that is firm and fair).
As for the GF bit , I can see why he would want to keep them apart, what if the relationship does not last, would he want the children to see him flitter from woman to woman? As a runabout bloke I know I would not (but that's me)
When relationships break down it is hard for both parties, sometimes in life though you have to look out for number 1 as nobody else will.
Allow some me time as the children will soon be independant.
Some people are still 'scarred' from the 80s and the materialism era, love only came certain success (can't think of the word I want) .
You have a good support network , make good use of it, don't know if you have any male friends, if you do they are more able to give you an insight as to your ex's thought process than any of your female friends, however in any instance nobody can promise things will resolve to what they once were, much as we would all like that to happen.