child maintenance

whichwaytuturn

DUTR in sresponse to your comment " i opened my legs and he dipped his wick" as i was married for 22+ years i assumed thats what married people do, correct me if im wrong. we chose to have our children together.to please you i will call him a NRP.

So assuming he gets 6 weeks annual leave and 2 weeks sick, deduct that from the the projected overtime. The csa will ask for the last 2 months (or 5 weeks is weekly paid) payslips and base the calculations for the next 12 months on that average.
He is not wise to move in with his new GF as the csa will want to know her income too
I'm not sure why you don't want to involve the csa, it is of benefit to both parties.
Looking more at the post it seems the actions of child support are being brought about for spite more than it's real intention.
It looks clear that the ex wants little to no involvement with you due to bullying though.

he gets 4 weeks holiday.
i wouldnt want any of her money taken into consideration and neither would the children.
i would rather not involve the csa as i thought we are both adults and that we could come to an arrangement ourselves.
at what point am i trying to spite the NRP I just want to recieve what we are entitled to nothing more nothing less.
as to bullying def not on my part as i have never said anything to him detrimental and i have never bullied him. if anything he is trying to push me into a corner as he thinks he is being clever.

i do not have to explain the whole of my break up with you. i only asked a question on the legalities not a character assesment of me.

whichwaytuturn

liney thank you for that link i will have a read later.

Loopy Girl thank you i dont really care what people think of me as i know whats been said or my actions. i dont have to justify myself to a small minority that think that way

DUTR

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

DUTR in sresponse to your comment " i opened my legs and he dipped his wick" as i was married for 22+ years i assumed thats what married people do, correct me if im wrong. we chose to have our children together.to please you i will call him a NRP.

So assuming he gets 6 weeks annual leave and 2 weeks sick, deduct that from the the projected overtime. The csa will ask for the last 2 months (or 5 weeks is weekly paid) payslips and base the calculations for the next 12 months on that average.
He is not wise to move in with his new GF as the csa will want to know her income too
I'm not sure why you don't want to involve the csa, it is of benefit to both parties.
Looking more at the post it seems the actions of child support are being brought about for spite more than it's real intention.
It looks clear that the ex wants little to no involvement with you due to bullying though.

he gets 4 weeks holiday.
i wouldnt want any of her money taken into consideration and neither would the children.
i would rather not involve the csa as i thought we are both adults and that we could come to an arrangement ourselves.
at what point am i trying to spite the NRP I just want to recieve what we are entitled to nothing more nothing less.
as to bullying def not on my part as i have never said anything to him detrimental and i have never bullied him. if anything he is trying to push me into a corner as he thinks he is being clever.

i do not have to explain the whole of my break up with you. i only asked a question on the legalities not a character assesment of me.

I don't think my comment was as you have posted above, but in a lot of the summaries , it is always the bloke's fault.
Yes I understand why you do not wish to involve the csa, however it looks as you have little choice, as the fight is over whether or not to include an extra 48hrs per annum overtime or not, that to me me is where is seems immature on both parties.
Bullying works in many different ways and mental bullying is happening more than people care to admit to, a contribution less 48hrs is better than no contribution at all, it seems neither of you want to back down on that score, if it were me I would just include it for the lack of fighting, but that is up to you two.
No I was not asking for an explanation of the break up but just as you were entitled to run off, so was he , if the love has gone it is nobody's fault.
I am not character assessing you, although I don't feel you are all good and he is all bad sorry

74jax

I would go through the csa, however until the csa are sorted he can make payments to you as long as you both keep a record of these payments, then he wont be asked for backpayments.

My ex and I go through the csa. The csa are very bias towards the pwc and you have to have some kind of level headedness about you. We are on csa1, my ex then went on to have 2 more children with his new partner, we informed csa and his payments to me went UP as he had had a payrise. The payment he had to give me was ridiculous, so we used the csa payments calculator and worked out what he would be paying me on csa2 and I transfer the difference to him each month.

Keeping things as amicable as possible should be your main priority, personal feelings go out of the window. You'll end up very bitter and resentful if you hold grudges etc.

Hope it works out for you.

Loopy_Girl

74jax wrote: »

My ex and I go through the csa. The csa are very bias towards the pwc and you have to have some kind of level headedness about you. We are on csa1, my ex then went on to have 2 more children with his new partner, we informed csa and his payments to me went UP as he had had a payrise. The payment he had to give me was ridiculous, so we used the csa payments calculator and worked out what he would be paying me on csa2 and I transfer the difference to him each month.

Why bother with the CSA at all then?

74jax

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Why bother with the CSA at all then?

I know I know, I get this from my EX all the time. But although we are amicable over DD we don't 'get on' ourselves as it were.

I feel the security of having the csa involved is worth it for me. I completely understand why people wouldn't use them, but for me peace of mind is worth a lot.

He has never failed to pay via csa and I'm happy the way it is. I do understand what you say and why my ex says we should come out of the csa. For us to switch from csa1 to csa2 we would need to be away from the csa for 13 weeks for a new claim to be started up under the csa2 rules and I just don't feel I am able to risk 13 weeks of no pay. Please don't judge me for that, but I rely on his csa payment and I'm very reluctant to change.

I know that sounds terrible and he is my DD father and I should have s sense of trust there, but for me, giving him back the difference a month is fair.

whichwaytuturn

DUTR i think you have misunderstood how many hours per annum that we are talking about. it is not 48hrs per annum. if it was then i wouldnt bother as yes that would be very petty. it is more like 368 hrs per annum and on his wage that is a considerable difference to his annual income.

as to whether or not it was his fault that the marriage ended is a difficult one to determine. i am a strong believer that happy people do not have affairs so yes he was unhappy in the marriage, but what he should have done was to speak to me and see if we could address whatever his issues were, instead he chose to go to bed with the 1st available woman that paid him any attention.

he still has not explained to me what made him unhappy or why he chose to sleep and continue sleeping with the 1st person who came along. especially as the person in question works with him and has been the standing joke with all the men who work there, as being the works bike.

but yes i have to decide whether to pursue it or leave it as to what he has offered. but as he seems to be trying to score points at the moment. im not sure i can be bothered to play his games. so yes i have a lot to think about.

newyearnewme_2

OP if I understand correctly your ex does 8 hours overtime a week? How much is he on a hour? And is overtime at flat rate or time or enhanced say time and a half as that *may* make the overtime worth fighting over!
For example he earns 10 per hour (no enhancement for overtime) and on average does 7 hours per week overtime (allowing for 4 weeks AL and two weeks sick;
52 (weeks in year) -4 (annual leave) -2 (weeks sick) = 46 (weeks that overtime is completed) x 8 (hours overtime per week actual)/52 (weeks in year) = 7 hours a week
If he earns £10 per hour that is £70 per week - £17.50 (for tax and national insurance rough figs) - £13.10 (25% of overtime - tax and insurance) would leave your ex £40 (rough) for 10 hours overtime. Would he continue the overtime for £40 as if he stops you will not see any?
Is £13 worth the hassle?
But equally if you can not agree on this the chances of a private agreement lasting are low as to have a private arrangement requires trust and understanding from both parties and be willing to compromise?
If you want to post up his overtime rates someone may be able to give exact figs for tax and insurance, also to do the overtime does he incur extra costs ie travel to work, lunch as you may find that once these costs have come out of what he is left that he doesn't bother? Or is overtime compulsory (as again this may affect your decision)
Obvisouly the more he earns an hour will make the fighting for it more beneficial to you and more likely that he will continue the overtime if the maintenance includes overtime

DUTR

whichwaytuturn wrote: »

DUTR i think you have misunderstood how many hours per annum that we are talking about. it is not 48hrs per annum. if it was then i wouldnt bother as yes that would be very petty. it is more like 368 hrs per annum and on his wage that is a considerable difference to his annual income.

as to whether or not it was his fault that the marriage ended is a difficult one to determine. i am a strong believer that happy people do not have affairs so yes he was unhappy in the marriage, but what he should have done was to speak to me and see if we could address whatever his issues were, instead he chose to go to bed with the 1st available woman that paid him any attention.

he still has not explained to me what made him unhappy or why he chose to sleep and continue sleeping with the 1st person who came along. especially as the person in question works with him and has been the standing joke with all the men who work there, as being the works bike.

but yes i have to decide whether to pursue it or leave it as to what he has offered. but as he seems to be trying to score points at the moment. im not sure i can be bothered to play his games. so yes i have a lot to think about.

I calculated the overtime as 4 weeks leave and 2 weeks sick so 6*8=48hrs per annum, the actual overtime during the other 46 weeks yes he should contribute from that if it is regular.
As it stands via the csa he would be paying for 6 weeks overtime which he may not do and that is what I thought was in dispute.

I would have said what he could have done as opposed to what he should have done, but what is done is done now

You are correct (or I agree with you) happy people do not have affairs. The rest of why he chose he he chose or ended up with who he ended up with only he can answer .

That is why I am on the side of the fence to use the CSA as the 'independant' adjudicator, yes there are horror stories of using them and horror stories of not using them

whichwaytuturn

newyearnewme this is not about is it worth it or not. it is as he rang me to say that as its overtime then its not included. which was my original question. as far as im aware its compuksory but in febuary it will no longer be classed as overtime but as part of his working week. i dont want to fight with him or anyone else for that matter.

i have now said if he pays for 2 of the childrens mobile contracts which comes to 40 per month, then i will accept what he offered. he has yet to come back and let me no if thats acceptable to him or not. so we will see what his response is. thank you for your help