Bullying at work - how to play it

NoNoDrama

I don't plan to pursue any kin d of grievance procedure. I can't be doing with the stress of it all. Research suggests you need willing witnesses to back-up the claims and I've only been there three weeks, it's just not worth it. I agree about my comments about the team 2nd being over the mark only because he wasn't there to defend himself but hey-ho.

With regards to sacking and the job-centre it's tricky. I want to avoid gross-misconduct as this will involve me having to do something silly and the job centre won't take kindly to. What about going AWOL? What is a cooperate company with a big HR department likely on any job centre correspondence if i do this?

I'll have funds for this and next months rent until any HB claim can be sorted some other bills will have to be put off.

DVardysShadow

NoNoDrama wrote: »

... With regards to sacking and the job-centre it's tricky. I want to avoid gross-misconduct as this will involve me having to do something silly and the job centre won't take kindly to. What about going AWOL? What is a cooperate company with a big HR department likely on any job centre correspondence if i do this?

I say forget getting sacked. AWOL would probably count as Gross Misconduct and you ARE going to have to grossly misconduct yourself, in my opinion.

I say this because of how the boss's manager reacted. It is not normal for boss's boss to come and talk to you and boss putting you both on the same side of the table metaphorically - either they will stay right out of it or boss's boss will arrange a meeting with you on the other side of the table from him and your boss.

What do you know about your workgroup's history and your predecessors? What your boss is doing cannot fail to have an effect on anyone in your position - I imagine that your group has been viewed as underperforming for a while - and probably your boss has seen off a few people from your current position. It won't have gone unnoticed - and it would be interesting to know who recruited you - I have a suspicion that one of the unwritten recruitment criteria would be the ability to be robust in your workgroup

I could be very wrong, but my gut feel is that if you weather this for a while, you remain firm but you don't go outside limits, then the situation will change fairly soon.

NoNoDrama

It was actually her who recruited me and the team 2nd who was taking notes! This is why I didn't retaliate earlier she hasn't shut-up about the interview and the fact I came across so different in that compared to now. I felt I owed her having gave me the job....but then I realised she was just using this as a weapon against me...it was by some cruel twist of fate I ended up on her team.

I don't have much info on her background only about the guy who mysteriously decided to gross dismiss himself which I mentioned earlier in the thread. Although I would put a wager on her having some kind of 'history'.

Sambucus_Nigra

From today's experience:

When she was going on about the printer, I would have very calmly pointed out that as my manager, it would be up to her to train me on the printers, and if there is a process missing in my approach then could we book in some printer training, as it hadn't been covered in her induction process. If she said 'you said you could use printers' I'd point out that using them wasn't the problem, the internal set-up was if she felt that she needed to shout at me for it.

When she was going on about the sitting up, I would have said that I was sitting like this during the interview and asked why she felt the need to continually harass me?

When [the other manager] said that you needed to communicate with her better, I'd have asked her to please detail what level of communication is required as again, she hadn't covered that during her induction.

If it is digs like this, always try and turn it around to being her incompetence that has caused the situation, not your lack of understanding.

Do it with a pleasant smile [not sarcastic] and make sure you take notes and do actually follow-up with a request for the further information - then she can't accuse you of it again, can she?

ceridwen

NoNoDrama wrote: »

I don't plan to pursue any kin d of grievance procedure. I can't be doing with the stress of it all. Research suggests you need willing witnesses to back-up the claims and I've only been there three weeks, it's just not worth it. I agree about my comments about the team 2nd being over the mark only because he wasn't there to defend himself but hey-ho.

With regards to sacking and the job-centre it's tricky. I want to avoid gross-misconduct as this will involve me having to do something silly and the job centre won't take kindly to. What about going AWOL? What is a cooperate company with a big HR department likely on any job centre correspondence if i do this?

I'll have funds for this and next months rent until any HB claim can be sorted some other bills will have to be put off.

If you tried going AWOL then you would, at some point, find they sent you a letter which was phrased to the effect that you had clearly decided to set yourself up to be sacked and they were therefore accepting the notice of resignation you had in effect given. I cant remember the wording - but I've seen it done - and they phrased it "very carefully". They would certainly find a way of phrasing a letter they knew you would be showing the DWP to make it plain that you had "resigned" in a roundabout sort of way.

I don't recommend going down that route.

ceridwen

Back to getting sacked - or otherwise....

I think it would be useful for you to get everything "clarified" clearly. If you are given less than full instructions - go back on it and ask questions to clarify exactly what they expect/how they expect it/when they expect it/etc.

You will be making it very plain that you intend to hang right in there and are asking (repeatedly) how they wish you to do your job.

That body language comment was way out of order. I would say that the most a supervisor could say would be to make a (genuinely helpful) comment about "You would be more comfortable if you sat in this way, rather than that way" (ie sitting up straighter - rather than slouching in poor posture) or "If you keep propping the phone under your ear you are likely to get neck problems at some point". That is - I would say the only allowable comments about how an employee uses their body are ones obviously and specifically designed to protect their "health and safety". If its just a comment about sitting "military fashion" and in a "subservient" sort of way - then that is not acceptable.

Personally - I would just keep firing a barrage of questions as to how they want the job done to "clarify". That way - you have full evidence you have continually tried to do the job in the way she requires. If she carries on and carries on like this - then, at some point, she has to do one of two things. Either - accept you are trying to do your job properly and "get off your back" (in which case - problem over that way) OR find a way to "set you up" to sack you (in which case - well you havent got that job anymore, BUT you havent resigned).

Keep throwing the ball right back into her court and wait to see which of those two reactions it pans out into.

Do NOT do anything that could be construed by an outside person (ie the DWP) as an obvious attempt to get yourself sacked.

For now - just keep repeating the mantra to yourself of "How? When? Why?" - ie the barrage of questions to discover "how to do your job properly".

It does sound like HER manager is "on her case" as DVardysShadow says and that there is "history" there.

Who knows? Maybe the outcome might turn out to be that HER manager gets so impressed with the way you are obviously doing your best to do the job well that you end up getting promoted or, at any rate, sideways shifted (ie to make sure you remain in the firm) and Problem Over = RESULT:D

NoNoDrama

Interesting day today I arrived 5 minutes late (bloody bus!!) I arrived in apologised for being late etc she asked me why I was late and muttered something about having a formal meeting. She was actually surprisingly timid (not friendly but timid-I was expecting her to go mad.)I expect to be told off for being late so fair enough one that one.

The day passed ok a few comments about not being in the right code on my phone but nothing ott.

We then had one of our infamous 1-2-1's. She made a few comments about me being defensive and how this could affect my work I (if I need to speak to offensive clients) she seemed to be going down the over-sensitive route again. (Yes, it's my fault you spoke to me like dirt for 3 weeks), I explained to her I don't mind her or team 2nd having a go about my work if it's justified and she isn't rude about it. Overall it passed ok though without us having a verbal ruck and I felt we made *SOME* tentative progress.

Tomorrow however there is huge potential for fireworks. She is listening to my calls for an hour. The classic excuse to be a b!tch. She booked this on Friday after 'printer-gate'. I'm going to have to be very calm and controlled and, I fear, restraint.

sootygull

You could contact ACAS, they have a helpline to give you advice.

The key thing is to keep a log/diary of the incidents and put your complaint in writing to the HR department. It doesn't matter if they don't actually help you, what it achieves is ensuring your bullying complaint is on record so that should they fire you, you have your side of the story for an employment tribunal.

Also if things become unbearable and you give your notice in, you would then be able to bring a case at an employment tribunal for Constructive Dismissal.

I know it all sounds daunting but the more you have in writing ahead of time the better you are prepared. Anyway the Citizens Advice people will help you if necessary, so you don't have to try to do it all on your own.