Adopting when getting married

Cutterby

Thanks sarahlouise, how did you change your daughter's name? Deed poll obviously, I mean did you do it online or at a solicitors? Thanks for any advice you can offer...

sarahlouise210

I used this site to change my daughters name - very efficient

http://www.ukdps.co.uk/

Cutterby

Excellent, thank you!! That was the main site I was looking at, just needed that little reassurance before I went ahead - so a big :T and thank you again!!! xx

BLUis

Thank you for all your helpful comments and websites. i didnt realise that it was such a long drawn out process for my partner to adopt my son!!! How ridiculous. You would think that SS have far more important things to do, like stopping child abuse and helping the elderly, instead of making the process for my partner to adopt someone who is already classed as his son!! Bloody red tape.

I think we will go for the whole name change idea and make it an 'official' part of the wedding. At least then it would ensure we all have the same name. If my 16 year old daughter also wants to change her name, she can without her fathers permission too. She might have a double barrelled name.

Tanks again for the help and advice!!!!

Britwife

Cutterby

If you are going to change your child's name then I really recommend going through an attorney. Especially in your situation. The document is stamped by the attorney and may be the key in getting your child's school records changed. Just request whatever form you need to fill out and send in your document to the school. You can also change the name by statutory declaration which is supposed to have more legal power. I was actually worried about getting our son's passport in his new name as even on their site it says it needs to be a statutory declaration. we had no problems and I'm thinking that had to do with it being done by an attorney and not online. You can point out what you said here and you will have to sign that you have sole parental rights. The only other option is to have her father sign a form saying he has no parental responsiblity.

My son was 13 when we did this and his father doesn't even know if he had a son or a daughter. I had no proof so it was added on the deed poll. That should be all you need and I'm suspecting someone has given you the wrong information at the school.

And for the op, I think it's a great idea to incorporate this into your wedding. We did the same with our son and wanted to involve him where we could. We got 3 candles so we could all light the unity candle together and then our pastor put all 3 of us together and my husband got down on his level and said something very special to him and we gave him a chain with a cross on it.

When we changed his name years later, we informed him on his birthday....lol and presented him with a custom set of dog tags. We put a passage on it for him and his new name.

Ms_Chocaholic

BLUis wrote: »

Thank you for all your helpful comments and websites. i didnt realise that it was such a long drawn out process for my partner to adopt my son!!! How ridiculous. You would think that SS have far more important things to do, like stopping child abuse and helping the elderly, instead of making the process for my partner to adopt someone who is already classed as his son!! Bloody red tape.

I think we will go for the whole name change idea and make it an 'official' part of the wedding. At least then it would ensure we all have the same name. If my 16 year old daughter also wants to change her name, she can without her fathers permission too. She might have a double barrelled name.

Tanks again for the help and advice!!!!

This may shed more light for you

What about adoption by step-parents?

Sometimes step-parents want to adopt the children from the previous relationship of their new partner. If this happens, the child's legal links with their absent birth parent and wider family will be broken. Alternative ways of settling the child's situation may be better for some children - see BAAF's Advice Notes, on Step children and Adoption in England and Wales and Step children and Adoption in Scotland.

It may also help to read this (altho some sections would not apply in your case)
http://www.baaf.org.uk/webfm_send/109


With regards to SSD having better things to do with their time, obviously step parent adoptions are not highly prioritised and more time and energy is spent on child protection work. However, the general public would be up in arms in the event of a child being abused by their adoptive parent as the suitable checks had not been made.

Becles

We looked into this when I married my husband and he wanted to adopt the children I had with my ex. We decided it was too much of a long and complicated process to go through.

We did the parental responsibility agreement which was really easy to do. You just print off the copies of the forms and sign them in front of a witness at the court. They get posted off somewhere and come back approved.

The boys want to change their surname to my husbands name but my ex refused permission. They are still legally known by my ex's name at the doctors, on savings accounts, on the official school role etc. However they are "known as" my husbands surname on day to day things like in classes at school and at the library. That's worked fine for us and the boys are going to change their names legally at 16, so they get their GCSE certificates in the name they will carry into adult life.

We married in Scotland at the blacksmiths forge at Gretna Green. Normally the couple put their hands together on the anvil and the anvil is struck to signify that marriage has a strong bond like metal and shouldn't be broken. With having the boys, they put my husbands hand on the anvil, then the boys and mine on top and hit the anvil to signify that the family were being bonded like metal. It was a lovely touch and I really liked that bit.

LondonDiva

Please to all those going for the 'quick' option of a name change - this is a name change only and does not give any legal rights or responsibilities; if you want to close the circle, you must also get a parental responsibility order, otherwise the name change is just that, a peice of paper to look pretty.

Strapped

Cutterby wrote: »

Hello, just wondering what would be the best way to go about this? I've had a look on the internet and it seems you can change your child's name online through the several 'deed poll' websites - providing you have parental responsibility and the consent of the other parent (if needed) - but as there doesn't seem to be one 'official' site I'm confused as to if every site really can offer a legal name change? And for so cheap - starting at £10?

The story is, me and my husband want him to adopt my daughter (she wants it too) - we've been married for 15 months, together for 3 years, baby on the way and I'd really like for us all to have the same name - DD's biological father has been absent for 4 years, IS registered on the birth certificate but doesn't have parental responsibility (as registered before December 2003) - and for my husband to be recognised as DD's father - we were going to make an appointment at the CAB to see how we'd go about him adopting her and us changing her name but if we could start the name change process as soon as, and follow up with the adoption at a slower pace, that would be ideal! So could someone please point me in the direction of a 'good' website? Or do we have to go and pay solictors fees? As you may expect, money isn't exactly in plentiful supply at the minute so we'd be grateful to avoid that route...

Wouldn't the easiest way have been for your husband to have taken your name?

Strapped

Cutterby wrote: »

Thanks rachbc, unfortunately DD's school say we must have some legal proof before they'll change DD's name - which is why we're going for the name change first and adoption later - as I understand it, the deed poll websites are legal - I'm just unsure which - if any - is the best one to go for - any recommendations?

Hmmm, interesting. My husband's ex had no problems at all getting my step-daughter's school to use her new husband's name EVEN THOUGH my husband wrote to the school and the LEA saying that he objected and wanted her legal name to be used. Apparently though the school could use whatever name the "main carer" tells them that the child is "known by" - so sorry to say this but I am eccstatic to hear that things have changed.