Adopting when getting married

BLUis

Me and my partner are getting married this year and he wants to adopt my 7 year old son. His 'real dads' name is not on the birth certificate and he has never had any contact.

Does anyone know what we have to do to go about this? It would be nice if we could get both the wedding and adoption done on the same day while the registrar is there for the wedding.

I have had a quick look on the internet but couldnt find anything helpful, its more for civil partnerships.

thanks in advance

RadoJo

Is this any use?
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adoptionfosteringandchildrenincare/AdoptionAndFostering/DG_10021340

Ms_Chocaholic

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news ... but there's no chance that you could get the adoption and the marriage done on the same day.

You will have to make a referral to your local Social Services who will undertake a thorough assessment of you both (even tho you are his birth mother) in order for the adoption to go through. It takes quite some time, particularly as this would not be prioritised as high as other areas of SSD work.

veekay

We went through the process two years ago.
The first condition was that we had to have been married for atleast a year before we started the process even though we'd lived together for four years already. Assessment took six months.
They required written consent from the biological father and talked to my family and my husbands family too.
Takes a lot of patience.:)

nais

you could change your sons name to match your married name though and then do the adoption bit as an ongoing thing, which is what my SIL did to make her daughter feel part of the new family.

veekay

nais wrote: »

you could change your sons name to match your married name though and then do the adoption bit as an ongoing thing, which is what my SIL did to make her daughter feel part of the new family.

Great idea and it costs less than £50 at the solicitors.

Britwife

I was in the same situation but with a twist. I'm American and hubby is British. My husband had been wanting to adopt my son for years but the cost and time involved wasn't appealing. So we went to an attorney and had a deed poll drawn up. We were able to use to change his school records, open his own bank account, change his medical record, and get his American passport renewed. Best £60 we ever spent. You can also have a parental responsibility order drawn up but we didn't. My husband has taken him to gp's and the schools freely speak with him and let him make decisions.

The only real difference between adoption and deed poll change is with an adoption, your child would be included in inheritance automatically so the easy way to fix that is to make a will.

We did this 3 years ago and are completely happy. My husband always looked at my son as his....from day one, it was meant to be.

Cutterby

Hello, just wondering what would be the best way to go about this? I've had a look on the internet and it seems you can change your child's name online through the several 'deed poll' websites - providing you have parental responsibility and the consent of the other parent (if needed) - but as there doesn't seem to be one 'official' site I'm confused as to if every site really can offer a legal name change? And for so cheap - starting at £10?

The story is, me and my husband want him to adopt my daughter (she wants it too) - we've been married for 15 months, together for 3 years, baby on the way and I'd really like for us all to have the same name - DD's biological father has been absent for 4 years, IS registered on the birth certificate but doesn't have parental responsibility (as registered before December 2003) - and for my husband to be recognised as DD's father - we were going to make an appointment at the CAB to see how we'd go about him adopting her and us changing her name but if we could start the name change process as soon as, and follow up with the adoption at a slower pace, that would be ideal! So could someone please point me in the direction of a 'good' website? Or do we have to go and pay solictors fees? As you may expect, money isn't exactly in plentiful supply at the minute so we'd be grateful to avoid that route...

rachbc

we just got parental responsibilty for my dh for my son as were put of by the experiences of my bil trying to adopt his dd...my son is older and didn't want to change his name though I understand you don't actually need a deed poll to do so

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family/change_of_name.htm

Cutterby

Thanks rachbc, unfortunately DD's school say we must have some legal proof before they'll change DD's name - which is why we're going for the name change first and adoption later - as I understand it, the deed poll websites are legal - I'm just unsure which - if any - is the best one to go for - any recommendations?

sarahlouise210

We went down this road a few years ago .... but for my husband to adopt my daughter we would BOTH show on her new birth certificate as her adopted parents even though I am her birth mother! We thought about it long and hard but decided against it in the end for that reason. Her name has been changed by deedpole and we are all happy with that. The process to adopt your own child is not a lot different to adopting a child from scratch....