The quest for home II (the battle of the debt to the deposit)

iwantahome

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copperjar

Hi iwantahome,

Sounds like you're going great guns with the money side of things. Not long left until payday and then you'll see all your hard work pay off. Did you get a savings account sorted or are you just using your current account? I find that I need any savings to be hidden out of sight or they just get spent, you still doing the sealed pot as well?

Sorry to hear you've had an up and down January so far with regards to other stuff. Its really hard to stay completely positive and focussed all the time - don't give yourself a hard time if you have a few bad days. You've listened to me go on about my stresses long enough now, I'm here if you want to have a rant!

iwantahome

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iwantahome

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iwantahome

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copperjar

You rant away any time you want! I know how life can seem pretty bloody unfair at times, but like you said, you're in the process of building yourself a happy, debt free and stable future - so you're in the better place really (even though it doesn't feel like that). Do you have no claim at all on your old house? If it was sold, would you be entitled to any of the profit?
It seems like we both did a lot of worrying for our OHs and its hard to break that habit. Must admit, the best advice I got which I'm finally following was to go No Contact (as all the experts call it!). It took me quite a while before finally doing it, but I do think its made things easier for me this week.

Well done on the NSD. I've always said laziness has its benefits!!

iwantahome

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copperjar

Hope you managed to get some sleep.
I can see why you're upset/unhappy about the house situation, but like you say, at least you don't need to feel you're responsible for the debts. My situation is slightly different in that its my house and the ex didn't ever technically live with me (although she stayed 5 or 6 nights a week). She never contributed anything financially to the running of the home which used to bug me a bit, but I guess seeing it from the other side, she didn't have to and she certainly doesn't have a claim to anything. She's still got quite a bit of stuff here though (she's nowhere to put it until she moves into her own house in March) but I'm thinking its time I get it packed up and maybe stored at someone else's house!

I think we're at that age now when a lot of our friends are coupled up, married off and have young kids, so I totally understand what you mean about needing to increase your social circle. Its always a lot easier said than done though isn't it? Don't know about your work situation, but are there any colleagues you could get to know better? Unfortunately for me, my peer group at work are all a LOT older than me, and the people I like and would probably get along with socially are people I line manage so its not really appropriate!

Sorry - I seem to have hijacked your thread! Hope you're having a better day today.

iwantahome

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iwantahome

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