Minniepoos: New Year - New Life (and it's GONNA be good!)

minniepoos_2

Just a sneaky update before my lunch break finishes...

Not much to report to be honest - I've worked out a new budget with the CCCS, so my DMP payment has upped to £106 per month (from £25). I'm not wishing christmas away, but I'll be glad when it's all out the way and I can concentrate on my budget without trying to squeeze every last penny out for pressies. Plus, I finally earn wnough to be able to budget for things like car trouble, hair cuts, and pressies. And pocket money - at last!!

I've decided to revert to my maiden name once I'm divorced. I had been undecided - good arguements for and against. I realised though, that the skank has the same initials as me, so if I kepy my married name it's only a matter of time before she has the same name. Don't want that at all!!! I talked it through with DD and she was perfectly happy for us to have different surnames. Feel better now I've decided - it's been on my mind for sooo long!

I'm sure I had more to say, but now I'm here my mind is blank.

Oh well, I can always come back

MP x

girlatplay

Hi MP

It's good to hear that things are sounding okay for you right now. I think we will all be better off when christmas is out of the way.

Little Miss's dad and I never married although we did plan to so LM got her dad's surname to save us changing it later. Didn't ever get round to getting married (thank the Lordy for some lucky things!!) so our surnames have always been different. It really isn't a big deal. I know that your situation is different but it has never been a problem for us in life. And you DEFINITELY don't want to have the same initials as The Skank!

xx

minniepoos_2

I seem to have so much going on at the moment - hard to squeeze some time to get on here!

The electricity man finally caught me at home at the weekend, and he replaced my faulty meter. Gutted - I've lived here since January, and have had all my electricity on cheap rate since then. Only realised a couple of months ago, and they've finally come to sort it out. At least they can't back bill me, as it wasn't my fault. They should've noticed - the meter's outside so they always read it. Oh well.....not to worry.

I've sorted out the childcare I need to get through the christmas period. Comes to about £100 - after I've used my last 1 1/2 days holiday. So now I have to update the tax credit people (I think I've made it £910 per year), then when that is sorted and I've found out my new award, I need to update the CCCS again.
I decided not to ask XOH for any help. I think he'd only let me down at the last minute anyway.

XOH hasn't responded to the mediators letter, so I don't have to go through that :j It would have been a massive waste of time anyway - I don't think we'd ever agree about his credit card debts and the house.

My court fees application got returned again (third time). This time it was because they had no official documentation to show what my maintenance from XOH was and how often I get it. Despite it being clearly shown (and highlighted, AND explained in pen) on each bank statement, and despite the fact that the other two times I submitted it all they had no problem with it. Grrrr..... So it's all gone back again with a very sharp letter from my solicitor. Fingers crossed.....

Right.....bed for me I think.

MP x

minniepoos_2

Bit of a stressy week, but I'll try not to moan too much

My court fees documents got accepted - and they came back with £150 to pay. I withdrew the cash today and dropped it in to my solicitors. So things are definitely moving. And if I get short of cash I can borrow that off of my folks. And I'll probably have to as.....

XOH didn't pay the maintenance at the end of November. :mad: I checked my bank online 2 days ago, and it wasn't there. I texted him to ask when I would get it. Then texted him again 2 hours later. And again....eventually got a text back saying he'd worked out that he's been paying me too much :eek: and was going to stop paying until it balances out. He's been paying UNDER what the CSA say he should be! This time last year he didn't pay it and the skank got an engagement ring. I wonder what she's getting this year.....

So, after a lot of thinking, research and talking to people who've gone through it, I've filled in the CSA form. I accepted what he was giving me before, as I didn't want to argue and make the situation worse. But that's it - he's made this happen. He'll be mighty annoyed when he finds out, but to be honest I just need to know what's coming in each month. This month is gonna be a nightmare now - I was hoping to do my christmas shopping, and the DMP payment will be pushing it a bit. I'd only just sorted that out too. Honestly.....any opportunity to be an !!!, and he's right there :mad:

The only worry, is that his boss is as crooked as they come. He would think nothing of paying some of his wages in cash to help him out. But we'll see what happens. I just want to know what I'll get and when I'll get it - and the CSA can give me that.

I had a rant about it to some friends, and got over it. Onwards and upwards. My budget is a bit screwed this month, but somehow I'll work it out. For a start, I'll be using less petrol with the xmas break, so i'll save some money there.

I've started buying xmas pressies. DD really wants an iPad 2, but she knows there's no chance. But I was thinking....she probably only wants it for facebook, youtube, games and apps to fiddle with, so I did a bit of research and found a google android tablet thingy for £69. Still a lot of money, but I'm sure she'll love it. And to be honest, I was struggling to come up with anything for her. Got her some books too, so I just need some little bits now. Such a relief to have finally started being christmassy!

I'm going to make my very first christmas pudding tomorrow too. Wish me luck!

MP x

girlatplay

Hi MP

I just wanted to say a quick thing about the CSA money. I was told not to rely on the amount coming in as they can only pay you what they receive. I have a letter confirming exactly what I should be receiving but my amounts differ from month to month. The highest I have ever had was £175, the lowest £43 and yet it is supposed to be the same amount each month. I was told to think of it as a bonus rather than rely on it. Also, my letter tells me I am supposed to get the money weekly but I get it monthly. I don't want to put a dampner on things for you but I just want to make you aware as no one told me that at the beginning.

Everything else sounding good in your life

Gap x

minniepoos_2

Thanks for that GAP, I didn't realise. I thought they could take it from his wages before he gets it - did I read that wrong?! The form's been sent off now, so I guess I'll see what it brings. He's on a regular wage, and has worked there since he was about 11, so will probably be there forever.

I was hoping this would stop him messing us around financially, but now it looks like he can still do it as much as he likes?! I wish I earned enough to not be reliant on whatever he gives us. Although with the DMP, the more I earn the more they get, so until my debts are paid I guess that won't happen.

That sounded really depressed - don't worry, I'm not! Just thinking it all over. It's hard. A massive struggle financially and emotionally, but I feel pretty good. And I know it'll be ok one day (I just have to read your diary to see that!)

MP x

girlatplay

As far as I can gather it is his employer who takes it from his wages before he gets them then the employer sends it to the CSA. The month I got the £43 I called CSA and asked about it. The woman said that was all they had received from the employer and so that is all I would receive that month. Apparently they do try to ensure that they get the right amount but it is not an exact science or something. A nuisance but I do see every penny as a bonus (and one less penny he is getting to spend on his drink and dr_gs). You can see it as one less penny the skank gets!

The best person to rely on is yourself and just do everything you can do in your life and work as hard as you can. I believe you create your own happiness and I can assure you the future will be better. I know

xx

minniepoos_2

Yeah, I guess anything's a bonus. I don't really know how to sort it out with the CCCS though. If I'm getting a different amount each month I'll never be able to arrange a budget. Oh well, I'll see how it goes and worry about it then.

Having a bit of a struggle with money now. My folks lent me the £150 to cover the court fees, but it's still very tight. I just paid my rent (4 days early, because the money is there), but I still have direct debits totalling £160 (including my DMP payment) going out before I get any more money in. And I have £6.82 in the bank, and £8.60 in my purse. Oh, and £20 in £2 coins in my little box. A half full freezer, but it's pretty much all bready stuff, with a little bit of frozen veg and a little fish. I've got pasta, and a couple of emergency jars of sauce. Gonna be an interesting couple of weeks! I need to buy milk and some fruit, so that's most of my purse cash gone.

If I can just get through the next 10 days or so, I'll have more tax credits, housing benefit and child benefit.

Oh, and the cat has a bite/scratch/something that looks like it's getting infected. And he has fleas. Can't take him to the vets (still owe my friend £250 from last time!!). Fingers crossed he'll be ok. I'll try to keep it clean with salt water. I'll try to get some flea stuff when I've got some money, but that isn't cheap!

God sorry - a real moany post

MP x

minniepoos_2

Can't believe it's been a week since my last post - the days are going by in a blur at the moment!!

Not an awful lot to report though....I just changed energy suppliers to get the £30 cashback and £100 Argos vouchers, as per the weekly email To be honest, I really really want a Kindle, so I'm doing this to get one - and I'll still have some money left over.

I've been trying to inspire myself on the whole christmas pressie front, and I think I'm going to try to make some home made fudge to give to a couple of people for christmas. Fingers crossed it works!

I got a letter from my solicitors today - XOH was sent the divorce papers on the 8th, so has 14 days from then to return them signed to my solicitors. It's all moving - FINALLY!!

I've got through the week with the freezers contents - but was helped by a good friend treating me & D to pizza one evening, and then cooking me dinner another.

Right, need to sleep - I'll try to have a proper catch up soon!

MP x

minniepoos_2

God - time is just flying by! I'll try not to run on too much....

The cat's bite thing that I thought was getting better, suddenly turned into an open abscess. That, and the accompanying flea stuff cost me £80.

I've got to apply for public funding for the cost of sorting out the financial side of the divorce. So once they've means assessed me I'll have to pay out some more. Naively, I wasn't really expecting that expense too. It'll be a very tight month, as I have another £105 to pay towards the school trip, and I have £103 to pay for the childcare over Christmas. But somehow I'm sure I'll get through.

There's a box ticked in the divorce papers that says XOH has to refund these fees to me, but my solicitor thinks I'll probably only get half. Seems unfair that I have to pay any, after all, he had the affair and left!

XOH wants me to agree to sell him my half of the house based on the valuation made over a year ago. And he's refusing to provide my solicitor with the up-to-date valuations (and wage&debt info) that was requested almost 2 months ago. If he doesn't do it soon, I'm going to have to apply to the courts for a disclosure order (or something like that), which will be - you've guessed it - more expense :mad: Starting to wonder if he's doing it all in the most inconvenient was possible, just for a laugh.

He's not doing himself any favours with DD either. She's firmly got to the stage where she doesn't want to be there at all. Him and the skank made snide and sarcastic comments about me loads, and pretty much ignore her when she's there. She cries before she has to go. What am I supposed to do? I can't talk to him about it - he'll not believe me, confront her, and guilt her into saying it's not true (been there, done that). I think she has to say how she feels, but she won't, because he is always giving her these guilt trips, about how it's not fair that he doesn't get to see her very often. Like it's her fault!!!!!:mad:

I need to update my CCCS budget. Maintenance has gone down (but who knows what it will be from now on), my elec Direct Debit has gone down from £30 to £13, but I now have to allow £17.50 a month for childcare. But, my tax credits should have increased a little to compensate a bit for the childcare. Once I get that figure back I'll update them.

Not sure how to do it if the maintenance figure keeps changing. The amount I should be receiving is actually more than my monthly DMP payment, so I can't miss it out altogether. I'll see what they say.

Not heard anything from the CSA yet, but I guess it'll take longer, what with Christmas and everything.

Hopefully I'll get back on eBay in the next week or so. Got a few things to put on there - nothing over-special though, so I doubt I'll get much money. Nothing ventured, nothing gained though....

Right, that's all I can think of for now!

MP x