Minniepoos: New Year - New Life (and it's GONNA be good!)

minniepoos_2

So. I didn't get the job. And I won't lie - I'm totally gutted. And it's led to some pretty serious thinking about my finances, and whether I can keep going like this. I always assumed I would be back in work really quickly - but I'm applying for loads, and nothing is happening, so I guess I have to live as if I'm going to be unemployed for the foreseeable future.

These are the facts:

1. I have to borrow more money from my Dad every month just to pay the rent.
2. I'm only eating 2 meals a day (cereal and either a jacket potato or bowl of value noodles) and I'm still running out of money. (and this is while DD is in Spain)
3. My water bill for the last 6 months is due this week - £244 approx
4. I still don't have contents insurance as I can't afford it - but while I'm at home I guess it's not as much of an issue
5. It's getting me down. And I mean seriously down. There's been some scary thoughts in my head the last week or so, and I need to get rid of them.
6. I'm not sleeping any more

I've done the online CCS thing, and as I expected it suggested a DRO. Seems like it might be the right thing for me. I'll have a little breathing room, in which hopefully I'll find a job and then I can get back on track.

I've tried to get my credit file from Equifax but they need me to call them in the morning.

Massive worry though - my old house is STILL in mine & the EX's name as the bimbo STILL hasn't managed to sell her flat and take over the mortgage etc. I've had the equity out of it, so it's only mine on paper, but I'm not sure if the powers that be will see it like that. It would be typical if the ex STILL manages to mess everything up for me. Damn, starting to panic about it now. I'll call them in the morning. But honestly, if I can't do this, I just don't know what I'm gonna do.

girlatplay

Minniepoos, don't give up yet. I know it is hard right now but it will get better. I can remember tough times when I just wanted to end it all but I fought with everything I had and now things are so much better for me. It will happen for you, don't give up!!!

There will come a time in the not so distant future when you will be able to pay your dad back and your name will be long gone off the mortgage with ex-[STRIKE]idiot[/STRIKE]OH. It takes time but it will happen.

Chin up chick

Gap xx

minniepoos_2

Thanks Gap - it gives me such a boost to know someone's out there willing me through it x

To be honest, this feels a bit like giving up. And I don't want to do it, but something has to give, and I was getting worried it would be my mental health.

After a lengthy and pretty exhausting telephone conversation with the CCCS, we established that I can't do a DRO because of the old house. Pretty much as I thought. They recommended starting a Debt Management Plan to get me through to the point where the house isn't in my name any more, at which point I can do a DRO (if things are still like they are now).

I have £25 to live on each month after everything is paid. So, I have 5 creditors, and they will each get £5 per month under the DMP. (doesn't include my dad - he has to wait. Gutted). The CCCS are sending me all the forms and template letters I need. I have to open a basic bank account somewhere else, as one of my creditors is an overdraft at my current bank. I'll do that tomorrow.

Even though I know this sucks, I almost have a tiny bit of relief. When I was with the XOH we were tighter than this for a bit, but it was ok as we were in it together - we could talk about it and lean on each other. It's just been too hard doing it alone. And maybe that makes me weak, but I don't even care anymore. It was so nice to be able to phone them and talk it all through, without feeling ashamed of the mess I'm in.

Right. I'm off to do my tea. And maybe, just maybe, relax a little.

girlatplay

Don't for one minute think you are weak! It takes guts to be able to do things on your own and bringing up a child on your own with next to no money is harder than anyone can imagine. Only people who have been there can really understand. Also, you have been honest about your debt and circumstances and you have asked for help. There is nothing weak about that either. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of pride-swallowing to ask for help but you have done it and you will be able to work towards the future now. It is good to talk it over with someone and I think you have done the best thing by talking to a CCCS advisor who knows what they are talking about. Don't feel ashamed, none of us deliberately put ourselves in these positions. Just keep strong.

xxx

girlatplay

Forgot a smillie!!

minniepoos_2

Thanks so much Gap - that was so sweet. It actually made me cry! But it helped - a lot.

I opened the new account today, and it went really well. I chose Barclays as none of my debts are linked to it. The girl was lovely. I decided to be honest and say why I was switching banks, and she was great about it. She said they are all trained to offer the services of CCCS to people who seem to be struggling, and made me feel even more like I'm doing the right thing. She told me about one of her friends who had recently started a DMP, and about how much a difference it had made to her. It made it seem so normal.

She opened a savings account for me too, and I've given XOH that account number for maintenance payments. As it's a savings account it means he can't "accidentally" set up any more direct debits on my account. And he said he's gonna try to change the standing order for this months payment which is due on the 28th. Not gonna hold my breath, but you never know.

I thought I'd better get all my paperwork in order too. I keep everything, and mean to file it all away as it comes in, but sometimes I don't. And then when it builds up I put it off...... The pile was just over 4 inches thick!:eek: I've done most of it - just got a tiny pile of things that I either don't know where to put, or that need to be looked at/sorted out. Feels good to have caught up with it.

I'm strangely tense tonight, but I think it's just because I'm finally on the brink of getting things sorted out - and I want it to happen NOW!!!
I'm going to chill out with a malibu (left over from christmas!) and tesco diet cola

minniepoos_2

Just had a rather humiliating experience. I had a lot of auctions finish on ebay last night, and 6 paid straight away, so I checked last night that I had enough in the bank to pay for postage, then packed them all up. Got to the post office today, got them all weighed etc, tried to pay on my card and it declined. I had to leave the parcels there and get to the bank, and it turned out that I have a direct debit going out on Monday, so they stopped the transaction because after Monday they wouldn't be enough funds.

I didn't really know what to do, so I called my best friend (in tears by that point) and asked if I could borrow the money until my tax credits appear on Tuesday. He was fine about it, but I feel such a loser for having to ask. I hate borrowing off of friends. He knows all about my financial situation, and I said loads of times that he didn't have to lend me any, but he said it wasn't a problem. He is probably THE most important person in my life and I so hope it doesn't mess up how he sees me. I know I worry too much - always have - but it's done now.

Important lesson learnt though - always use cash from now on. Can't let that happen again.

Just thought of another problem - so far I have £66 on PayPal that I can't get to. I wanted to keep it there until my new account was up and running but I think I'm going to need to get to it sooner than that. So, I've just requested the money into my bank. Any more I get, and I am waiting for over £50, will have to wait for Barclays.

I need to stop thinking about this. I've just borrowed season 4 of NCIS from a friend so I think I'm going to immerse myself in that for a few hours.

girlatplay

You need to remember that you are still at the turning point. It's great that you have a friend who knows the situation and who can help you out. I had (still have) a friend who was with me at the turning point and who lent me money when I was getting back on my feet (we are talking small amounts, £20 or so). She helped me through. Don't beat yourself up about asking for help. This is just one little slip up which had taught you a lesson (I don't mean that as harsh as it sounds ). You might have other slip ups along the way but your friend sounds like he is willing to help if you need it so accept his kindness and you will be able to return the favour in the future. If you are anything like me you will probably do little things for him now and not realise it because it seems small in comparison to what he is doing for you. Keep your chin up and hold your head high, you should be proud of yourself for getting to where you are now on your road to "recovery"!

Gap xx

P.S. Sorry for making you cry!!

Sun_Addict

Minniepoos - keep going don't give up! One day this all will be in the past. Just keep thinking that and you'll get through. I know it's not much help now but you are still young you have time on your side. You're lucky you have such a good friend to see you through - worth more than any amount of money in my book!!

All the best - SA

minniepoos_2

Hey, just thought I'd better let you know I'm still here

I'm in Spain, so haven't been on here for a bit. But, before I left I sent everything off to the CCCS so things should start to look better soon. Or at least look more structured.

When I got here my dad gave me 50 euros as he was worried I didn't have any spending money. I just can't spend it! I've got too good at not treating myself - I've seen things I'd like, but talk myself out of them before I get to the checkout.

He's also offered to pay for the rest of DDs school uniform (she told him how worried she was that she'd have to start school without it all). I had asked XOH if he'd help out, but nothing yet. And I'm not going to ask again. So my dad sat me down and said that when my grandad died he was 8, and his mum had 4 kids to get uniforms for. Basically, he spent the rest of his school days in hand-me-downs from everyone in the area he grew up in, and was picked on on continuously for being in tatty clothes. So, he told me that he never wanted DD to feel like he did. So, I'm going in to the shop on Monday with DD, we're gonna get everything else she needs (except shoes) and they are gonna phone him in Spain to take his card details. And DD hasn't got to worry about it anymore.

The olds have been so good to me. I hate that they have to keep helping me out. But I'm so grateful to them - and I've made sure I've let them know how much.

I think I'm rambling. Mainly because I'm not quite ready to go to bed yet, but not got anyone to talk to right now. SO maybe I should just get my !!! of here and try to sleep lol