Mens rights in seperation

Ddraig

Messrs_Arthur_and_Terry wrote: »

Ten to one Ddraig's brother gets the bill for removing the house contents.

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Dont give people ideas,she would if she read this.lol.
No she is related to half the village .She will prob get one of her many "uncles" to do it.

Im off to bed now.At least I know he has somewhere to manouvre now.Little brothers.Are they always a worry?

Messrs_Arthur_and_Terry

Once reality bites, the spite subsides and her parents have had a gutfull of her and the kids, chances are there will be an attempt at reconciliation. That's really going to gaul you Ddraig and it will be your side of the family asked to shift everything back into the house.

pupsicola

When he goes to see a solicitor tell him to take any important documents with him, like the kids birth certificates. He can get the solicitor to take copies and put a stamp on them to show they are genuine copies of the original. If he has the guts he can hand these copies to the ex.

It sounds as if this marriage is well and truly over. If the ex can be persuaded to they both need to sit down and talk about the future. Discuss the kids and how they want to move forward. My ex and I didn't do this and it caused alot of heartache and pain for years. Mostly for our children I am ashamed to say.

clearingout

try www.wikivorce.com for support and advice around separation and divorce (not that you're not getting good advice here!)

It is a minefield and not a nice one to be entering. Tell him in a year's time, he'll wonder what all the fuss was about - in the meantime, he just has to focus on keeping himself calm and not stooping to her level. If she's difficult (and she sounds like that), he could have a long haul through the court system.

As an aside, you seem to be indicating that as a family they have a lot of debt, are in arrears with their mortgage, the house is in negative equity and he is employed through an employment agency rather than in secure employment? On this basis, I can't see either of them being able to hold onto the house unless she has a family able to help with the arrears and he walks away with no debt in relation to the house as a result. It's a common misconception that the person who 'keeps' the children 'keeps' the house . The idea post-divorce is that a couple are sent out into the world as two separate people able to manage to keep a roof over their heads and pay basic bills. It is often the case that the mother comes away with more because a) she has the children and b) she probably has a history of working part-time so earns less so needs more to be equal to her ex. But you can't actually get blood out of a stone and no judge is going to order him on the streets whilst his ex-wife and children sit pretty. It's not his job to keep the children - it is THEIR job as joint and equal parents. She'll get plenty of help through Tax Credits and other benefits if she doesn't earn much as well as some maintenance from him (tell him he'll need to keep on top of the CSA if he's in irregular employment - assuming the ex wants to go through them for maintenance - as they are a nightmare to deal with and he doesn't want arrears building up because he fails to notify them of changes of income).

Hope it all goes well for your brother. He is lucky to have good family support - he'll need it.

VK-2008

speak to a lawyer they will keep him right with regards to what he should and should not be doing. hope things get sorted

Ddraig

Messrs_Arthur_and_Terry wrote: »

Once reality bites, the spite subsides and her parents have had a gutfull of her and the kids, chances are there will be an attempt at reconciliation. That's really going to gaul you Ddraig and it will be your side of the family asked to shift everything back into the house.

They have already been here at least 3 times previous.

She has now cut phone and internet off.So one of our brothers are picking him up a pay and go dongle.

simpywimpy

I wonder if rather than fighting for the house he would be better using his time planning his single future?

As you say, she isnt going to give in any direction so looking for a rented house (considering the financial situation) might be the wisest move, plan his new life and move out, taking what he considers appropriate.

He will then feel safe in his own home, have no reason to meet her or allow her access and can then fight separately for access to his children.

Ddraig

He is rehoming the dog and looking for a flat.But she wont allow him time.Also he isnt really fighting for the house as in ownership.Just to be able to stay until he gets a flat.

pupsicola

Ddraig wrote: »

They have already been here at least 3 times previous.

She has now cut phone and internet off.So one of our brothers are picking him up a pay and go dongle.

I feel so sorry for your brother. I have been in his shoes and it is a very frightening experience. My ex was forced to leave our home by the police but before they came to get him he had cut off all manner of communication. All I was left with was my mobile. In the end some lovely neighbours lent me a tv and a laptop with a dongle. Its weird but until you have barely any means of contact with the outside world you dont realise how isolated you feel and how much you need it. I hope he will be okay.

Ddraig

pupsicola wrote: »

I feel so sorry for your brother. I have been in his shoes and it is a very frightening experience. My ex was forced to leave our home by the police but before they came to get him he had cut off all manner of communication. All I was left with was my mobile. In the end some lovely neighbours lent me a tv and a laptop with a dongle. Its weird but until you have barely any means of contact with the outside world you dont realise how isolated you feel and how much you need it. I hope he will be okay.

I am glad you got out of that.

She finds herself very clever.But backed off when I said Id be making a phone call to the inland revenue.She seems to be telling him she has paid for all sorts with her money.She got the sack a few weeks ago and her second job is only 7.5 hrs.Under the limit for tax credits as a working tax credit.
She may want to push my brother about but Im a different kettle of fish.
I wont break the law ,but will fight her with the means the law gives me.
Unfortunately there must be so many men out there that let there partners deal with all the paperwork.Or vice versa.It is so dangerous.He has admitted he does not even know who supplies their electric and gas if she gets that cut off.
She has already cleared most paperwork out.
It is not that she paid for everything.It is that he just handed cash over when she asked.
He was responsible for paying so many bills and others were in her name.
This is all very complicated to try and help him with.He just found out he could sign on On-line and then the phone went dead.So the internet went same time.
Wish I could see her face when he is straight back on tomorrow.Small justice.x