Mens rights in seperation

pupsicola

It sounds to me like she has dropped this bombshell on him and whilst he is in a head spin she is trying to take everything away from him. Right now he cant think straight and she is taking advantage of his vulnerability. Tell him to contact a solicitor quickly and get things legally sorted out. As a father he has equal parental rights and should have a say about what happens to the kids next.

Ddraig

Pup he found the evidence a week ago.Sat on it for sake of kids for xmas.Said he was going to say something boxing day.Thats when she went.I need to know he is safe and has rights to stay until it is dealt with by solicitors.
I know they swallow a lot but is only way with these two.No room for mediation.Oh yes we have plenty of practice.She lived with his mate before and wiped him out completely.Stole a key for a house that was only in his name.Copied it and put the original back.Wiped him out.And fraudulently got a loan in his name and managed to get it so he had to pay her his half through leftover house sale money.Black widow is not in it.All under 30.Flippin eck im doing something wrong I tell ya.

Ddraig

Empty pockets .I am obv a woman .I have 4 kids and would never do this.
It is scary how men can be manipulated.He has his family behind him.They were already falling behid on mortgage payments.Neither can afford the house and it is in about 10,000 neg equity in todays market.
Best thing he can do is go bankrupt.He has to argue with cc companies all the time etc.Thats my opinion but wouldnt dare tell him to go for this without advice.

pupsicola

Having read more of the posts on this thread now I dont think he is safe. It sounds very risky for him to be in the house with the possibility of her coming back. I get the impression that given half the chance she would stitch him up completely and make it look like he has attacked her. She also sounds the type that could hurt him badly. It would not be against the law for one or more relatives of his to be at the house whilst he saw a solicitor.

Im not saying this is the same situation but I split from my ex over 4 years ago and feared for my safety. I had suffered domestic violence. At the time when you split from someone who is abusive and manipulative you are at greatest risk of attack. These kind of people like control and having their own way and if you stand in the way of that it can escalate dangerously.

I would urge your brother to contact the police and explain his concerns for himself and the children. His partner does not sound stable.

Could your brother not stay with relatives for now. The courts will make sure the house is split whichever way they see fit at the end of the day. The thing he wants to avoid most is getting hurt or enabling her to have him up on false assault charges.

princeofpounds

Here is a very first primer on the situation re the kids - he needs to keep the copies of the birth certificates if he can. If he is named on them, that's a big help for him. If not, then she could make it quite a hassle for him to get parental rights (although he will get there eventually).

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/SeparationRightsForFathers.html

The next thing to consider after parental responsibility appears to be a residency/custody order. There is probably a way to build a case for this, if he thinks it is the best thing for the kids, but he probably needs a lawyer to advise him on this ASAP. If they can't agree amicably, going to lawyers is inevitable.

princeofpounds

The ever-excellent shelter has a guide on this situation. Haven't read it yet, just posting ASAP.

http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown

Loopy_Girl

If it is a joint owned home then he cannot change the locks and she has every right to come into the home.

He can stay there but he cannot do anything which will prevent her entering the home.

He needs a lawyer first thing tomorrow.

Loopy_Girl

Ddraig wrote: »

I tried to buy him new door barrels but got wrong size.Will try tomorrow.

I wouldn't bother as any lawyer will tell you that she is legally entitled to come in and out of the home as she chooses and cannot be prevented in doing this as she is on the deeds.

It's a joint home and cannot be 'claimed' by either party by the changing of locks.

Ddraig

Prince Thankyou very much for your efforts ,and everyone else.

I will pass the links on.

Half the vIllage is related to her and he is an outsider.And that is how he mentally feels.I am doing everrything I can to show he is not alone whilst being calm and polite with her.I dont have any judgement on their marriage that I am willingly applying.The marriage is their business.This is me trying to protect my brother.I would do same for her if shoe was on the other foot.

They are as I state married and he is on the birth certificates.So that helps.

I hate splits they are so horrid.But we are grown ups and it is pants.Im gutted kids are getting older and will feel this.

Ddraig

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I wouldn't bother as any lawyer will tell you that she is legally entitled to come in and out of the home as she chooses and cannot be prevented in doing this as she is on the deeds.

It's a joint home and cannot be 'claimed' by either party by the changing of locks.

We have tried telling him this as I thought this may be the case.Waste of 30 quid he hasnt got.He is scared that she will attack him and falsley accuse him and get him arrested if she gets in and they will throw him out and change locks if they all get in.He has let her in and she has removed so much stuff today.My mum kept him on the phone so she knew he was ok.