We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Mens rights in seperation

Ddraig
Posts: 595 Forumite
I need some help for my brother please.
He found out his wife cheated and she left sayin she didnt care about the house and would get a council house.Obviously she has found out this is not the case.And now wants the house.This is very raw.As in the last 48 hrs.
Now she has stated she wants her stuff.Which he let her get.She has emptied the bank account and said she is cancelling the phone line etc.She wants all the stuff from the house tomorrow.The washer etc.Even though she is staying at her parents and I feel it should be done officially.Everything documented and seperated.
There are two children in this.Which obviously are entitled back home and my brother would have them in a heartbeat.Not many mothers would allow that.But that is not my brothers fault.
He is currently sat at home scared to move incase he comes back and finds himself locked out.He has nowhere else to go.What can he do?
He found out his wife cheated and she left sayin she didnt care about the house and would get a council house.Obviously she has found out this is not the case.And now wants the house.This is very raw.As in the last 48 hrs.
Now she has stated she wants her stuff.Which he let her get.She has emptied the bank account and said she is cancelling the phone line etc.She wants all the stuff from the house tomorrow.The washer etc.Even though she is staying at her parents and I feel it should be done officially.Everything documented and seperated.
There are two children in this.Which obviously are entitled back home and my brother would have them in a heartbeat.Not many mothers would allow that.But that is not my brothers fault.
He is currently sat at home scared to move incase he comes back and finds himself locked out.He has nowhere else to go.What can he do?
SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.52
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.52
0
Comments
-
Please can anyone help?I just need to know if he has a right to stay in the house.He has nowhere else to go.SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.520 -
Is the home rented or owned?
If owned, the only person entitled to be in is the person (people) on the title deeds. This may help or hinder him.
If rented, then the people named on the tenancy agreement are allowed to be in.
Regarding the children, get a lawyer ASAP.
In terms of his rights, they will be the same as hers more or less. There will be a (presumably) a court process around the children, and a court process around the divorce.
If she turns up and is intent on 'stealing' the appliances I suggest he calls the police. That is maliciously disruptive to the children, let alone the father. It is normally a good idea to be the first person to call the police in a dispute, and it might even be worth him ringing them on the non-emergency number if he has been threatened with a disturbance like that. This will mean they have it on record so when they come to deal with the situation there can be a bit of evidence as to what the situation is before the 'domestic'. This is important for men in particular as it is easier for women to act as the 'wronged' party.
Finally, he might be emotionally raw but he needs to de-escalate the situation for the sake of the children. The whole method of dispute sounds very immature. He should try to explain to her that it will be better for everyone's sake if this is done properly, that removing appliances just causes problems for the children and that they aren't going to disappear (unlike the money in the joint accounts!).0 -
Thankyou.I thought he must have some rights.He feels so helpless.And obviously he has had the stuffing knocked out of him.She is demanding all sorts.And has been bringing her father around.Funny,the guy she cheated with was my brothers mate.He doesnt want to know her.But all emotional stuff aside.He is on agency and seeing as xmas has been and gone.He is on reduced hours.So he can stay in the house.He is virtually a prisoner doing that though.I tried to buy him new door barrels but got wrong size.Will try tomorrow.
She is type to break in ,fling him out.Or if she gets in she will shout attack.So he does not want to be anywhere near her.She has done it before.Attacked him then scratched herself and phoned police.This was couple of years ago.They were ok till he found this out.But now she wants everything.And I mean ,she even took bedside lamps.Whats that about?
He wants to see a solicitor but scared she will get in while he goes.SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.520 -
She can't just take the babs and make them homeless. If they are safe at home there's no reason why he can't have them with him.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Old style MoneySaving boards.
If you need any help on these boards, please let me know.
Please report any posts you spot that are in breach of the Forum Rules by using the Report button, or by e-mailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com.
All views are my own and not of MoneySavingExpert.com0 -
She has her room and theirs set at her parents.Its a casse of m brother has always been the extra part.They have their own real rooms.This is what they have always wanted but they want rid of him too.No way would she let him have them.Which as a mum I can say Id find it hard.But he is not the one removing them.So as you say ,she has taken them away from their home.
She seems to think she is entitled to the house,money and everything in it.Oh and the car.So he would be left with his 300 quid runner.And they are in debt up to their eyeballs.Guess who will be allowed to keep those?
They will not get through this amicably as much !!! we would like to.They are badly matched.But the immenent need is to keep a roof over his head.SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.520 -
OK, given the false accusations in the past I think it is quite important to have a discussion with the police. If possible ask for a neighbourhood officer to visit so they can see that he is home alone right now and kids are ok. Keep a record of who you spoke to and any references you might be given.
So if she does turn up and starts causing problems the police will have a healthy dose of scepticism.
You didn't answer my question - is it owned or rented, and who is on the deeds or tenancy?
He can probably speak to a lawyer over the phone in the first instance, usually the first half hour is free.
There is nothing wrong with him changing the lock barrels, but if she is an owner of the home she is allowed to break in and get them changed again, although practically that will take time. If one of you locks the other out then the one locked out can apply for a court order to gain access, but again, that also takes time.0 -
Seems to be a bit of cross posting sorry.Prince of pounds.Thankyou ,I have alread said myself he needs to phone the local station and make them aware of threatening behaviour.
She has nowhere to put these appliances.And as you say.They will be there until they are dealt with officially.
She has demanded birth certificates etc.Why?It sounds all too heartless and ruthless to me.
It is an owned mortgaged property in both names.This is where I was worried that they could tit for tat each other.As in my mind ,neither can keep the other out.But she will claim he has attacked her given 5 minutes chance to do so.I was wondering what exact law was on the imminent future until he has seen a solicitor.SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.520 -
Sorry the children are with her at her parents.She removed them with her.She would have attacked him if he had said they were stoppng at home.
Prince Ive posted the house is joint owned .mortgaged.That was how I thought it stood.So am I right in thinking he can change locks and she can ask for a court order but not break in?SWAGBUCKS Nov 17sbs redeemed; 2 x £5 Amazon
youngpoll 7.70onepoll £33 toluna 29600 plus 3 redeem. valued opinions 9.25pureprofile 5.95mutual points 1265.Hi epanel 24 pointscrowdology 1.520 -
Sorry to hear this news.
Hate to say it but it's highly likely she will get the kids, house and car.
All your brother will be left with is wage deduction every month to help her fund her new life.
Maybe i'm bitter but that is the reality of life in this country. I'll never marry nor have any more kids. Vasectomy next month. The joy of having another child is outweighed by the high possibility of never seeing them and having what life I have left destroyed.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards