Maldives & MSE - not your usual combination!

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

Aww hun I'm sure that you will have lovely times ahead with DD, you'll bond really well and it already sounds like you have a great relationship

Kepp

I think the fact that you are so honest about what you need to do means that you will get those bridges built in no time. It's never too late xxx

jtr2803

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement .

I need to start planning some activities although luckily she is the kind of girl happy to just sit on the sofa with some popcorn and watch movies .

Kepp

What about some craft type activities as well? x

jtr2803

Good idea Becs! We talked about making some cards a while ago and I know my mum wants to have a go at it as well so that's at least one day sorted

I've been a little naughty this morning but have decided to take advantage of the Travel lodge sale and have booked us a few nights away in September. We are going to Cambridge for a couple of days, I've never been there but have been told it's very nice and then we are heading down to Milton Keynes for our third night so I can take him to Woburn Abbey and the Safari Park :cool:. The grand total for our 3 nights is £49 :rotfl:

Do I get my MSE badge back now?

LittleMoog

Hi Jody,
I think it's great you're taking steps to be closer to your daughter Having a slightly unconventional family arrangement myself, I know that what I've always appreciated is time spent together, it's what helped make my uncle's family feel like my "real" family, and I'm sure your daughter will find the time you spend together special.

I live near Woburn (in Bedford ) it's a great day out :T not made it as far as Cambridge yet, but I'm sure there's lots to see.

RebornToBeRich

Hi Jody

I can relate to your post - my kids stayed with their dad post divorce (although for different reasons than yours) and I really worried that my relationship with daughter would have been weakened but in fact the opposite happened. She knew she would always have a room with me (as did my son, of course!) and I just left it to her to tell me when she wanted to come over - she started comiung more and more and after a couple of years she moved in full time - and has never left! She's in her twenties now, our relationship has never been better.

Whilst I am a full supporter of family values and in an ideal world we'd all live happily ever after and there would be no divorce etc, there are other ways and every family has a different dynamic. And for what its worth, whilst I dont know your whole story it doesnt sound to me like you've been a bad mum - you've worked hard to gain financial stability whilst your kids were being cared for in a safe and loving environment with an immediate family member that you trusted and she knew and loved - far worse to have dragged her along with you when you perhaps couldn't have nurtured her at that time the way your mum could, with you both growing up resentful of what might have been...

Woowoo

RebornToBeRich wrote: »

Hi Jody

I can relate to your post - my kids stayed with their dad post divorce (although for different reasons than yours) and I really worried that my relationship with daughter would have been weakened but in fact the opposite happened. She knew she would always have a room with me (as did my son, of course!) and I just left it to her to tell me when she wanted to come over - she started comiung more and more and after a couple of years she moved in full time - and has never left! She's in her twenties now, our relationship has never been better.

Whilst I am a full supporter of family values and in an ideal world we'd all live happily ever after and there would be no divorce etc, there are other ways and every family has a different dynamic. And for what its worth, whilst I dont know your whole story it doesnt sound to me like you've been a bad mum - you've worked hard to gain financial stability whilst your kids were being cared for in a safe and loving environment with an immediate family member that you trusted and she knew and loved - far worse to have dragged her along with you when you perhaps couldn't have nurtured her at that time the way your mum could, with you both growing up resentful of what might have been...

Couldn't of said it better myself, I agree 100% with this x

jtr2803

RebornToBeRich wrote: »

Hi Jody

I can relate to your post - my kids stayed with their dad post divorce (although for different reasons than yours) and I really worried that my relationship with daughter would have been weakened but in fact the opposite happened. She knew she would always have a room with me (as did my son, of course!) and I just left it to her to tell me when she wanted to come over - she started comiung more and more and after a couple of years she moved in full time - and has never left! She's in her twenties now, our relationship has never been better.

Whilst I am a full supporter of family values and in an ideal world we'd all live happily ever after and there would be no divorce etc, there are other ways and every family has a different dynamic. And for what its worth, whilst I dont know your whole story it doesnt sound to me like you've been a bad mum - you've worked hard to gain financial stability whilst your kids were being cared for in a safe and loving environment with an immediate family member that you trusted and she knew and loved - far worse to have dragged her along with you when you perhaps couldn't have nurtured her at that time the way your mum could, with you both growing up resentful of what might have been...

Thank you . It's been tough at times and normally when people find out I get some really disapproving looks. I remember OH's brother coming round, seeing all the music stuff in the spare room and whispering to OH 'doesn't little'un live here then?'. I almost felt like I needed to explain but obviously I don't. I of course could have told her she was moving with us but it would have really upset her and I have only ever tried to put her first. I hope to god that she knows how much I love her and one day when she is older I will explain to her what happened and why her life was that way. Fortunately she has never really been exposed to any real emotional turmoil...her life has remained very stable regardless of what has been going on in my life.

At times it has really bugged me how much her Dads fiance played 'mum' to her but I am glad that they have such a good relationship and they also have had the disposable income to take her horse riding etc, things that I could never have done in the past.

kavics17

I have no oppinion on this, mainly because I don't have children, and no one around me had this kind of experience. But I think the main thing is that you love her and she knows that she can count on you no matter what. She will have questions in a couple of years time and hopefully she will be able to ask them, I'm pretty sure you'll be honest with her. Just treasure the time you have with her on Sundays and make it extra special-you don't need to do anything specific, just enjoy it!