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Maldives & MSE - not your usual combination!

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  • Hi I've just subscribed to your diary, I've been to the Maldives and its faultless you will have an amazing time, how lovely to have that to look forward to.

    Re the marriage issue this is not a criticism but I was just wondering how you would feel more secure if you were married?

    Do you live together or have any children?
  • jtr2803
    jtr2803 Posts: 3,232 Forumite
    Hi Keeping Motivated, it's lovely to have you along :). I really can't wait to get to the Maldives, I expect I will cry when I have to leave!

    Your comment isn't taken as a criticism at all, it's a very fair question and part of the answer is that I don't know and the other part is probably that I see it is a very serious commitment, that I am good enough to spend his life with. I am not saying anyone is wrong for not wanting to get married at all and until I met my OH I wasn't that fussed (I have been married previously) but the point is that I want to marry HIM, not just get married in general, I hope that makes some sense. We live together (rented) and have lived together since the very start of our relationship but we don't have a child together, nor are we likely to have any (his choice).

    There is a little more to this whole conundrum than is obvious from my posts on this diary (there was considerable discussion on my previous thread), which is that my OH has publically proclaimed his desire to marry me in the past but it all just stopped, he also agreed on a few occasions that we could/would get married before the end of 2012..........he says he doesn't remember and I can tell that he doesn't but he also knows I am not lying about him saying it. My OH is such a sweetie and would do almost anything for me, it's the most loving and two way relationship I have ever had so I know it's a long-term thing. He did ask me the other day if I could live like his oldest brother who is not married and I said that I couldn't. I guess I almost see marriage as a 'return' on my effort in the relationship, rightly or wrongly!?

    Aside from all this we have an awesome relationship which I totally agree is the main thing!

    Very happily married on 10th April 2013 :D
    Spero Meliora
    Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
  • Do you know what struck me firstly is that you said you may have to give serious thought later in the year if you can stay in this realtionship because of this 'issue'....the secondly what struck me is your realtionship sounds great and what most people would dearly love to have (non are perfect in my opinion) then thirdly what struck me is please do not consider ending this realtionship due to marriage 'issues' that would be madness surely...enjoy him and you and enjoy what you have and in my humble opinion if you let it lie then something in life (no idea what) will turn up and will make him re evaluate (given that he was previously pro marriage) and you will get married one day and it will be special because you will know he is doing it because he TRULY wants to and not 'just' to keep you happy..

    Please don't let this and your envy of others spoil what you say you already have with him. Seems so sad to let it eat away at you when you have so much already and will get more when the time is right.
  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 95,434 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Mortgage-free Glee!
    Wow that was some list of Christmas pressies :grin:
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.

    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
  • chevalier
    chevalier Posts: 7,937 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    wow you are really lucky to get that much stuff. I am guessing you must be quite young still then. i got a book, that i bought myself, and $30 from my mum and that is it......

    sorry you are so down about the other girls engagement. your OH probably said what he said out of panic. so don't worry about it too much.
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
  • OrangeFairy
    OrangeFairy Posts: 2,630 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Afternoon Jody - Sorry to hear about your upset on xmas day. I know your OH is lovely i just think (remembering back to the children comment when he upset you) that he just isn't quite aware of how a comment would upset you. :(

    On more positive note - what a fab 2011 you are about to have!! :D xxx
    Orange Fairy
    House Purchased April 19 :) CC1=? CC2=? DH CC= Mortgage Overpay = £0 Savings = £0 Xmas savings = £0 Weightloss = 0 lb


  • jtr2803
    jtr2803 Posts: 3,232 Forumite
    Kel you hit the nail on the head there, he even admits that himself! He told me yesterday that he forgets I'm am armadillo (hard on the outside, soft on the inside, Dime bar anyone?!) :rotfl:.

    KM, I totally 'get' what you are saying, my mum says exactly the same thing and if I have my rational head on I know you are right ;), that said, when it's your feelings involved it's much harder to think straight. I am feeling much more upbeat today so I don't want to dwell on it too much before it becomes a daily consuming issue!

    Chevalier - I am almost 30 :o, does that make me young or not?! Christmas has always been a major thing in our family, even though every year we say we are going to cut down! I have so far managed to resist the sales although I did make a significant purchase last night....

    I bought a Wii bundle! I know it was naughty but I spent a few hours weighing up my options and posted a thread on the health and beauty board about using one as a weight loss. It seems that quite a few people were using them in combination with healty eating to shift the lbs so we now have a thread running where people can chart their successes. I figured that there is more chance of me using it at home than going to the gym and if I don't stick to it, I can always sell it on. Hopefully I can collect it from my local Tesco tomorrow night after work, I have a black console with Wii Fit Plus and the balance board, I also orded a dance workout from Play which will take a while to turn up.

    Had a lovely day with DD tonight, we watched Avatar, Homeward Bound and 50 first dates :D, am going into the office tomorrow so just put some washing on and am going to get showered soon and make my lunch. Still working on some hopes and aims for the coming year so watch this space!

    Very happily married on 10th April 2013 :D
    Spero Meliora
    Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
  • Hi JTR just caught up with your new diary. The Maldives how flipping exciting!!!

    Just wanted to say weve recently got a wii and I absolutely love love love it! Even if you only do 10 mins a night to start, its fun exercise and it tracks your weight loss on a graph. Weve also got the Dancing games too, a good laugh and your arms absolute kill.

    Ps. my tummy muscles are killing from the hula hooping :eek: x x
    Mummytogirls x

  • jtr2803
    jtr2803 Posts: 3,232 Forumite
    Hi Mummytogirls, thanks for stopping by :)

    I am looking forward to getting the Wii up and running, I have a very good incentive after all :j. Only a few more days and I can say I am going to the maldives THIS YEAR!

    Am in the office today but not planning on doing too much work! Saw my now engaged work colleague and thought I was going to struggle a little but it's been fine and I realised that yes, I am jealous but I am really happy for her as well. She is such a nice girl and I am allowed to go dress shopping with her :T.

    Being in this morning gave me a chance to go through my SOA and budget to see what I think is achieveable for the next year. In my budget I have included £200 of pub wages (which I may or may not get depending on whether I have a job) so it may change but here are my rough figures.

    Monthly take home £1,680.56
    Pub Wages £200 (ish)

    All outgoings £1,292.22 - this includes rent/childcare/food/petrol/Ins etc

    That leaves £588.34 'disposable' income.

    In my budget I have allowed myself £40 per week as my spending money, can't see I will always spend this so any excess will be split half to savings and half to roll over to the next week. My aim is to put £150 in savings as soon as I get paid then drip the rest through over the month. I also have MOT due in new year and insurance due in March so need to factor this in. I am going to set my savings target as £1,000 for 1st Jan - 30th of April. It could be a little higher but insurance will be a few hundred so the target reflects this.

    I think I averaged around £330 a month to savings late last year and I have had a payrise so I am hoping I can totally annihilate my target but we all know it's much nicer to beat one rather than fail :D.

    I weighed myself this morning and whilst shocked at my weight, I was pleased that since my last weigh in, which was mid October, I have only put on 2lb! I have a target of losing 3 stone before holiday and will track my progress in my signature (and on the Gym V Wii thread).

    Aside from my financial and weight loss goals I want to spend more time with my family, I really neglect them and I know my mum especially gets lonely so I need to see her more. Hopefully just lots of little changes in the new year that wil make a difference to our lives in general.

    Very happily married on 10th April 2013 :D
    Spero Meliora
    Trying to find a cure for Maldivesitis :rotfl:
  • Choc-addict
    Choc-addict Posts: 1,894 Forumite
    jtr2803 wrote: »
    Chevalier - I am almost 30 :o, does that make me young or not?! QUOTE]

    NO!!!! I'm 32 (33 next yr!).....def not old lovely ;) xx
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