Trying to get a loan after bankruptcy

tomitma

Sorry, but gone are the days when the bride and grooms parents are expected to pay for the wedding and honeymoon. No wedding is worth taking a loan for, it might have been different years ago when marriages were for life, until death us do part, these days marriages collapse at the first argument. What are you going to think, when darling Daughter comes home, and you are still paying off the debt for that one day of so called magic?

Weddings can and are being held cheaply, no one needs to spend thousands on a wedding dress, and parties, I am not being cynical, I had a big white wedding it cost £1,000 but my EX-husband and I paid for it all ourselves, my marriage only lasted 5 years, my second marriage, hubby and I paid out exactly £150.00 we just had the witnesses as guests, and we are still together 20 years later. Do I regret having a small wedding NO-WAY we look back and laugh about it, it was what we wanted.

Honeymoons dont need to have thousands spent on them either friends of mine, hadn't booked any thing, the day after the wedding they phoned the local travel agent and took a last minute booking, and enjoyed that more, than other holidays they have taken, they didn't know where they were going to end up too, but what the heck.

ILW

Expensive weddings are just a way of demonstrating to friends and family how well off you are, just showing off really. Going into debt to do this is just crazy.

If one has £10 or £20k to spare then putting it towards a house must be a better option.

I may just be rather unromantic though.

BackOnTrack

ILW wrote: »

Expensive weddings are just a way of demonstrating to friends and family how well off you are, just showing off really.

This sort of thing really annoys me. Just because people aren't doing something as cheap as possible does not mean they are showing off.

To the OP ignore the sanctimonious morons and I hope your daughter, her fiance and you have a great wedding day when it comes along.

27col

ILW wrote: »

Expensive weddings are just a way of demonstrating to friends and family how well off you are, just showing off really. Going into debt to do this is just crazy. Madness.
If one has £10 or £20k to spare then putting it towards a house must be a better option. Definitely.

I may just be rather unromantic though.

You are exactly right TLW. I don't disagree with a single thing that you are saying. Except to say that expensive weddings do not demonstrate how rich you are. All they demonstrate is that someone somewhere has enough money to pay for your wedding and that you have borrowed it from them.

There might be something in having a big expensive wedding if it meant that the marriage would be a long and happy one. But marriage is entered into so lightly nowadays that the chances of a successful marriage seem to be reducing year on year.

BugsyBrowne

Year or 2 after the wedding the OP's daughter will probably end up having an affair or the other way round,then sit down look at the amazing day they had cursing,thinking and I got all this debt now in front of me just for these stupid photo's and a piece of paper.
Then go through the next year or 2 getting the divorce sorted while not speaking to each other,then finding another partner and pretending to yourself you never want to get married again,but this new lover is perfect and wisk you away to gretna green for £50.(sorted)

BackOnTrack

star-fire wrote: »

Year or 2 after the wedding the OP will probably end up having an affair or the other way round,then sit down look at the amazing day they had cursing,thinking and I got all this debt now in front of me just for these stupid photo's and a piece of paper.
Then go through the next year or 2 getting the divorce sorted while not speaking to each other,then finding another partner and pretending to yourself you never want to get married again,but this new lover is perfect and wisk you away to gretna green for £50.(sorted)

Wow how idiotic. You didn't even read the first post did you! Otherwise you would have noticed it was her daughter getting married and not the OP.

Wutang_2

BackOnTrack wrote: »

Wow how idiotic. You didn't even read the first post did you! Otherwise you would have noticed it was her daughter getting married and not the OP.

you're not getting the point are you? Guess (take the most massive random shot in the dark you've ever took) what their point is?

BackOnTrack

Wutang wrote: »

you're not getting the point are you? Guess (take the most massive random shot in the dark you've ever took) what their point is?

They're a miserable sod and like to share it?

Trying to say you shouldn't spend a lot on a wedding cause you may get divorced is just a stupid thing to say and stupid reasoning.

Clive_Woody

The OP might be better off chatting with people on the Bankruptcy & Living with it boards as people there will have more relevant experiences and may be a little more sympathetic to how you are feeling. I suspect the advice will not be that different, but maybe delivered with a little more empathy.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=136

For what it is worth my wedding was pretty low key, my FIL who was a former CEO working in the city said he would pick up the bill but we just didn't see the need for spending a huge amount, but obviously everyone is different. We got our cake/invites/my suit from M&S, flowers from a friend of the MIL, dress from Debenhams. My MIL's Beetle was the wedding car (a bit cramped but it was a 5 min drive from church to reception). We had a late afternoon wedding followed by an evening do so just provided dinner and evening nibbles (wedding cake, tea and coffee to keep everyone going) for the guests. It was a fantastic day.

All the best and don't take negative comments to heart for the most part people on here are well meaning.

kareliray

Wow what a lot of different views - thanks to all those who sympathised/empathised and gave me good advice which is what I came on here for. Just a quick update, invites are all going to be handmade, cake is going to be a tower of shop bought little cakes that they both used to love as kids and a top small cake to cut bought from M&S with little shop bought flowers on top. Car is being borrowed from family friend, table decs are being bought off ebay as are wedding favours, so all in all we are feeling a lot happier and budget has come down already so a big thank you to you x

Star-Fire - how sad that you would think that of someone you know nothing about ... not all marriages end in divorce through people having affairs - yours obviously did the way you speak.

Mags-cat - thanks for your later post - I think your point is valid and you are lucky that you have a contingency plan - I really hope you never have to use it and I guess it does seem crazy wanting to get a loan however small after being made bankrupt but I know I can pay it off. At least this way I'm paying the money direct to my daughter and who knows with all the good advice on here I might not have to pay as much


To all the cynics and hurtful people if you aren't going to answer the question but just voice your opinion then please don't - I know it's a free country to say what you want but life is too short to be that harsh all the time. Smile it makes the world seem such a better place.

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope 2011 is good to you.