Engagement ring money advice, please!

picklepick

from a womans point of view, i would kick your !!! if i knew you'd borrowed that much for a ring. my ring cost £550. its gold and has a lovely sparkly diamond., its what it represents thats important not how much it cost. plus, id be terrified of wearing a 5k piece of jewellery in case i lost it. mental!

some people on the wedding forum are spending that much on their entire wedding, including the rings.

just start saving now. dont start the next chapter of your life on the wrong foot!!

ViolaLass

gingerassassin wrote: »

Fair enough. Point taken on board from all about £3-5k possibly being a little high for a ring (FYI - I was intending on borrowing a little extra than the cost of the actual ring to take her away also), but any ideas re my actual question on how best to borrow the money?

But why, why, WHY borrow to do it? Why not save first and do something cheaper? You've done all this work to clear your debt, were you seriously only doing it so you could take on more debt?

For two months savings, you could have a ring AND whisk her away for the weekend.

Also, just a thought, is there a family ring you could use? Mine belonged to my mother in law's family and I loved it. Plus it was practically free (£10 to have it cleaned and resized). I hope this won't start an argument - I know some people hate the idea but it's always worth considering.

Percy1983

Dare I say in tracking diamond down myself, and getting a jeweller to make a ring to my own custom design I got a bargain.

She got it independantly valued for insurance it is was valued at 3.1x what I paid for it, but it did take a lot of time and effort.

But seriously, you sound like you have lost touch with what it means, spending less doesn't mean you love her less and if she thinks that do you want her at all?

katsu

Hi ginger,

congratulations to you both, in advance.

Sorry to join the "don't do it!" crowd.

3-5yrs is a really long time. What will you be doing in those 5yrs?

Maybe you might:
* have to contribute to your wedding costs (your best man's suit, the venue, dancing lessons, who knows what you'll end up needing to fund)
* and/or the honeymoon
* decide to start a family, thus incurring reduced salaries
* want to move house - due to your jobs, families, who knows?
* take some time off work due to illness or redundancy

Because you know your circumstances better than I do, you will know if some (or any!) of these things are unlikely or likely; I'm not saying I know what you are doing. What I am trying to do is suggest that during that long time you will face other expenses and might really regret having the long term commitment of the regular monthly payment hanging over you.

I went to the MSE loan calculator and if you do borrow the 5k over 5yrs then if you got a loan at 8% it would cost you over another £1k in interest :eek: Is it really worth that?

Other people will only look at the rings when you tell them for the first time and on your wedding day. After that the only people who notice them are the pair of you.

My rings cost no-where near what you are planning to spend but I love them just the same.

Apples2

Where do you see yourself in 5yrs time??

If it is simply engaged to this woman but living as you do now then you can be repaying this loan (bad idea as it is) for the next 5yrs fairly simply.

If you think in 5yrs time you will be married, then you really need to think again. You won't be able to buy yourself onto the deeds of the house, you won't be able buy any kind of new car (I assume you are not a driver or you would already know spending so much on a poxy ring is a crazy idea).
In fact, you won't be able to do anything involving a financial outlay you don't have the cash for.

This ring will rapidly turn into a Ball & Chain - One which you will regret for the next 5yrs (or more if she legs it).

You don't get many chances for credit these days, don't waste it on something so pointless.
Once she boasts to all her friends about how much it cost, she will expect the best forever.

KingElvis

Wow, 5k on a ring?

I guess the seas must roar and the mountains must crumble etc

JasX

Plus what would your girlfriend rather see -a 5K ring, shoestring budget wedding, shaky finances to setup home together with and fewer trips away early in married life while you're saddled with debt?

OR a more balanced approach minimising debt interest so you have more overall to spend for the next 5 years

(basically budget now -cut outgoings and plan to save xxx reasonable amount for a ring for 2011, then assuming the wedding is 1-2 years behind that save that period for the wedding / honeymoon, possibly with some parental help. Then come out the other side on much more even keel and not needing to cut back much anywhere -a little saving planning now will really pay off)

BackOnTrack

first off good luck, I got engaged in 2009 and married last year, so hope everything works out for you.

I'm going to go disagree with others and say spend whatever you want to spend on the engagement ring. I don't necessarily think you should go and blow £5,000, especially if it is all borrowed, but if you want to spend a little bit more than you should then go for it.

Another thing to consider though is the wedding and who is going to pay for it. I was lucky and my wife's parents paid everything except the photographer but weddings are bl**dy expensive so you might be better to spend less on the ring and save the additional cash for the wedding you and your lady are going to be paying. You also have the honeymoon to save for.

Actually now I think about it a bit more, don't get any loans etc. to buy the ring you're probably going to need that available for the wedding. Good luck for the future.

babyfruitella

£5000??? On a ring???? I'll marry you! Lol!

In all honesty, I do think that is a lot to be borrowing. I'm assuming you're getting engaged with the intention to marry at some point in the future? Weddings cost A LOT of money. I got married last year, & we did it on a budget, & it still came in at over £5k.

If you are planning to borrow, for those figures a loan would be best I imagine, but as PP said if you can borrow less & pay it off quickly a credit card could work better for you.

drew2k9

had to jump on board as i myself have "bought" an engagement ring and hope to pop the question very soon (pending the formalities of the chat with her father, and grandfather too).

the reason the the "" around bought is, i have paid a 10% deposit on an £1800 ring, just under two months salary, which i have found seems to be the average for one. i am paying the ring off on 0% interest over 3 years, meaning i am paying £45 a month, with the option to pay more or pay off early if i wish (and i will be doing this) and there are no early payment fees at all. i feel i got a brilliant deal!

if you could find something like that then you may be sorted out, but again, like people say, 5k is a huge amount for a ring! fair enough i know how you feel, if you are anything like me, money isnt going to stop you, but at the same time, as people say, if you can save maybe 2k or 3k, use that for a ring and a trip, then keep saving the same amount each month for a year or two and im sure you will have a brilliant wedding and be able to go somewhere spectacular for your honeymoon.