How important is money to a relationship?

mikeywills

I think the answer is in the title, ask yourself do I love this person because of their money or do I love them for who they are.

Money has no bearing on the relationship, how you are together can be amplified by the excess or lack of money or by differing opinions to it, but lets be honest how many of us on her have married for money.

To have too much when you are used to so little brings its own problems, money as they say cannot buy happiness and it certainly cannot make or break a relationship.

The relationship stands on its merits alone, the attributres that you love about someone if questioned would be their sense of humour, their fit bod, etc etc, how low down that list when looking for a partner would you put money.

You don't go into a relationship for money so don't blame the relationship for failing because of it.

Athravan

I think money can be very important in a relationship, depending on the person .. not because of any change in the love, but because of adjusting to life together, being able to cope, being stress free and happy with where you are... as well as who you are with.

You can love someone more than words can say but a drastic change in circumstance like losing half an income can result in a lot of stress. Stress can push people over the edge, causing rows, breakdowns of people and relationships. Money can be the cause of a relationship ending simply because it can be a very important thing in life, and therefore affects everything.

So I think it depends on the person, if you are someone used to a lot of money yet prone to stress, you may find yourself unable to cope with life when things change. This can lead to you taking it out on the relationship or acting irrationally, picking fights and many other things that aren't about love but about how well you're coping.

If their relationship is solid she will adjust and eventually the money will not be an issue, because one day they will stand back and think - we're going to lose each other, why does money matter? We have to fight for this relationship...... or maybe they won't, and money was too important a thing in her life to adjust without it.

So I think I am waffling on to say that money isn't as important as love but as money is a central part of life, adjusting to a major change in it can be hard, confusing and stressful, and a relationship can be dragged down by that change... but everyone goes through rough patches and we do adjust and bounce back.

conradmum

I agree with the posters who've said it isn't the money that makes the difference, it's the couple's attitiudes to it. My dh and I have a very similar attitude (if it's there, enjoy it, if it isn't, find cheap ways of enjoying yourself!) and have never, ever argued about money.
My ex is a gambler with a lot of concern about how he appears to others. We didn't argue about money because I have a take it or leave it attitude, but I eventually realised that if I stayed with him I would always be poor. The relationship broke down for many reasons but the disparity in our attitudes to money didn't help.

[Deleted User]

Money is important in a relationship - obviously the main reason is to be able to pay for the cost of living day to day.

But it is also more than just that. Money - if you have extra above your essential costs - can give you choices.

In a relationship - trust is more important than money.

You can be living on the streets and/or in abject poverty yet still have an excellent relationship. You can be wealthy beyond imagination and have a terrible relationship.

suzysue_2

I think having enough money is very important in a relationship, just enough to pay the bills and not worry how your going to pay for the school dinners that week.
Although we do look back on our poorest times very fondly, we really had nothing when we got married 19yrs ago, but neither of us cared. It was only when debt began to creep in that it caused frustration, depression and rows!

kathyd_2

I think the question has answered itself regarding your friends relationship. I wish them well.

oldnick

Income is totally unimportant in a relationship.

It's lack of income that causes the problems!

I have yet to meet a woman that couldn't spend
faster than I could earn it.

RHYSDAD

Thanks to all for you comments!!
Very much appreciated.;)

saubryn

Maybe I'm lucky, but my husband and I are permanently skint these days and we're the happiest we've ever been.

I think anything that two people disagree on, or can't communicate on, becomes the 'most important' thing in the relationship. When we first got together we rowed a lot about some things where he assumed they didn't matter, but they did matter to me. Once we sat down and talked for a while, things have been great ever since.

Horasio

When we first married, we were really poor. We had just enough but had to watch EVERYTHING. It was depressing. It was very hard work and we felt very vulnerable.

When we got more money, it was great. We could travel more which is important to us and life seems smoother.

Too much money, however, can make you spoilt tho'. We got even more money later in our marriage and you get used to it. It doesn't eliminate personal issues.

Things seem to go wrong more when you are poor too. It is my biggest dread to be that poor again.