What do you buy your adult children?

newcook

Definately stick to your guns - if she expects to be treated like an adult she has got to stop acting like a kid.... kids eh!? my OH's son wants his new bedroom kitted out in England stuff for xmas and he is only 5!!! think may compromise and get quilt cover and lampshade and get some presents he can open on christmas morning. am desperate not to spoil him (his bedroom at his moms has more toys than toys r us...!)

Anastacia

My parents spend £20 on each child, child in law & grandchild but girlfriends & boyfriends dont get anything for the first few years i have noticed, except maybe a bottle of wine. My mum bought me Michael Palin Videos for years & now she is happilly replacing them wiht MP DVDs (as the videos have all stretched and cant be watched anymore). Might be predictable but its just another Christmas traditin to me!!

hilary1

mine are 27, 29, 30 and they get the same more or less. They all work and have their own homes so I dont feel I have to buy loads for Christmas. My daughter likes presents though so she has them and the other two and partners have money between them. My grandchildren get £10-£15 because they are all under 5 and get too much anyway.

I cnat see the point in getting into debt because of one day a year. Rather buy gifts because I want to at any time of year.

Sammz

Four of us kids (30, 28, 26 and nearly 20) and I wouldn't like to think what gets spent on us. Way into four figures. Not from greed but from over generousity.

newleaf

Speaking here as an adult child, my mum (a pensioner) always asks me what I want and I would never dream of asking for anything expensive. This year I saw a rotary paper cutter in Morrisons for a tenner and pointed it out to her as a potential Christmas present. She bought it there and then. She usually also gives me a bag with small things in - the equivalent of a stocKing I suppose, there's usually a diary or calendar, soap or smellies, and some chocolate. Ok, so it's not a huge surprise, but it's how it's always been and it seems to suit us both.

hilary1

She loves you though and thats worth more than money:T

plattinum

Judi wrote:

I am battling with this at the moment. I tried to cut down last year but failed miserably. Christmas for us is one heck of an expense when partners and their children creep in. I am hoping to stick to this list:

Son who is 25 forgoes his christmas pressie and £25 will go to his eldest son.

Sons girlfriend wont get anything £25 will go to their youngest son.

Daughter who is 24 will get £25. Her partner will get £10

Daughter who is 20 will get £25. Her boyfriend forgoes his money to go to his
daughter (from a previous relationship). His daughter will get £10.

Son still at home and at college will get £150 (he has asked for a new phone so thats what he will get), and because he cant be bothered to sort out his EMA thats all he is getting.

10 year old son, probably £150 - £200

I have all my childrens bank details so that i can transfer the money around christmas time and my young grandsons money will go straight into their trust fund via bank transfer.

I much prefer to give my adult children the money, i would rather it go on the things they want rather what i 'think' they want.

Good to know I don't live in the "REAL" world alone. Theres no need so spend large sums of money. Most people wont even remember what they got for Christmas the previous year, just ask them. So its soon forgotten.
My favourite pressie at Christmas is a new duvet and cover with pillows. I just love jumping in to bed after all the stress that Christmas brings, and being all snuggly and warm, when the weather is so naff. I lie there and chuckle to myself, and realise how lucky I am. Mad? yes maybe!

newleaf

hilary1 wrote:

She loves you though and thats worth more than money:T

Exactly!

Lucie_2

My Mum always asks what we want for Christmas; I have found it's better to tell her or we get a load of useless tat. My sister is a great one for surprises, but the last couple of years she has started veering towards the useless tat as well (vibrating head massager anyone ).

I'm quite fortunate that my MiL does most of her Christmas shopping in M&S, so I can take it all back & exchange it for something I would like! Am I ungrateful? who knows, but after 10 years I don't have the heart to tell her I don't wear M&S nighties!

I think the problem is that we live so far away from both families neither group has any real idea how we live our lives. We're not exactly strapped for cash, so generally if we need something then we will go out & buy it. I would much rather have one nice bottle of wine from them rather than piles of junk, but they don't understand that. Maybe it's a quantity/quality issue?

mitchlouise

I'm sorry charb but I still think that you should ignore what her Mum spends on her and treat your kids the same.....
She does sound young for her age, and a bit of a spoilt brat and I don't think she should have made a scene.
My parents are divorced and me and my full brother have 1 half brother and 2 step siblings. When it comes to Christmas they have a £250 limit for each child, my step Dad doesn't see 2 of his kids so they get it in the bank for when they're grown up (or his ex wife starts letting him see them again), I usually get money and Alex gets toys etc, Rob gets what he asks for.
My Mum would never dream of saying Alex only has presents from us so he gets double what you get. I wouldn't be upset as i'm a bit old for the Christmas bug but she would never contemplate treating us differently