What do you buy your adult children?

southwestmaid

This will be my daughter and her OH's first Christmas with a new baby. We have decided to buy them an inexpensive digital camera between them so that they can take loads of pictures of my grandaughter who will be 4 months old by then. They don't have a camera so I know they will be delighted. I will probably buy a couple of silly presents too including a selection box each.

My son is 26 and not so easy to buy for so will end up asking him what he would like around the £50 mark and will throw in a couple of little surprises.

sophiesmum_2

My parents usually get me and OH a gift bag of little surprises each and one big thing, sometimes a joint gift.
Last year it was maltese pounds (£200 worth) as they knew we were going there for our hols. It was a nice gesture and meant the money didn't just get wasted or lumped in with shopping money etc.
There has to be a Terry's chocolate orange for xmas though, had one every year that i can remember and I am now 40.;)

sophiesmum

Trying_really_hard

I'm a 22 year old and an only child, so I still get treated like a child in many respects. I tend to get money and some other smaller gifts which my rents pick themselves. I give them the occasional hints, but they do quite well on their own. My BF also gets money and little gifts too, as he's the oldest in his house and gets a bit sidelined.

I do like money though as i can spend it on what I want, and more importantly, when I want.

sarahlouise210

To be completely honest ..I think that it is not necessary for a parent to buy a present for an adult child. Each year we are asked what we want ...we either have everything we need...or we have got so used to not buying anything for ourselves that we just cant think of anything. I am happier at the idea of the annual get together than presents. I would prefer babysitting tokens! While it is lovely to give presents...I am sure we all receive things every year that we do not need and do not use.We no longer give and receive presents from our siblings - we get each other a lottery ticket each - that way we have the chance to win a lot of money..and everyone only spends £1 each!

mitchlouise

charb wrote:

my partner has a 19yr old from a previous relationship. she works and lives with her mother. we have 4 other young kids to buy for so i spent about £140 each on them and about £70 on the 19 yr old. i thought this was a reasonable amount due to the fact she works and was 19. well she was fuming on xmas day and was asking how much so and so's present was etc.now i haven't seen her since xmas day (since we moved house 18 mths ago from the road next to her boyfriend and no longer give her money we don't see her). she never got my partner anything for fathers day and the smaller kids said she has said when dad gives her a xmas present she'll get him a fathers day one.
now i am livid about this but partner obviously has the my kids can't do no wrong attitude. my problem is i don't know what to do this xmas.i have done the shopping for the smaller ones and got lots of bargains,so it looks like they have had alot spent on them but they haven't. i don't think she did too badly last year because she has her mums presents aswell, but i don't want to have arguments this xmas(she walked out last xmas before dinner).
any opinions ?

I'm sorry but you should spend the same on all your kids, whether she works or not, however old she is. Especially with divorces etc you need to treat them the same. I understand why she was upset

Princessa_2

alanalea wrote:

A few years ago my mum gave me a huge box, inside was a smaller box and a smaller one... There were 8-10 boxes and inside was....... A BOB THE BUILDER CD - I was 19 :rotfl:

:j

Oh no! what a let down! I'd be gutted, even if it was a cd I really wanted, lol!

Princessa_2

charb wrote:

my partner has a 19yr old from a previous relationship. she works and lives with her mother. we have 4 other young kids to buy for so i spent about £140 each on them and about £70 on the 19 yr old. i thought this was a reasonable amount due to the fact she works and was 19. well she was fuming on xmas day and was asking how much so and so's present was etc.now i haven't seen her since xmas day (since we moved house 18 mths ago from the road next to her boyfriend and no longer give her money we don't see her). she never got my partner anything for fathers day and the smaller kids said she has said when dad gives her a xmas present she'll get him a fathers day one.
now i am livid about this but partner obviously has the my kids can't do no wrong attitude. my problem is i don't know what to do this xmas.i have done the shopping for the smaller ones and got lots of bargains,so it looks like they have had alot spent on them but they haven't. i don't think she did too badly last year because she has her mums presents aswell, but i don't want to have arguments this xmas(she walked out last xmas before dinner).
any opinions ?

I'm sorry, you must have made a typo here. I read that your 19 year old stepdaughter has spat the dummy here, you must have accidentally put a 1 infront of her age.

Serisously though, you're right. At 18, we were told we'd stop getting loads of presents, which never really happened, but we didn't expect our parents to spend hundreds on us. She's had years of getting presents, now she's an adult, she should accept that it's the childrens time now. Stick by your guns and don't spoil her this year. Id give her even less than last year since she was so ungratefly then.

maplegirl2011

mitchlouise wrote:

I'm sorry but you should spend the same on all your kids, whether she works or not, however old she is. Especially with divorces etc you need to treat them the same. I understand why she was upset

my children get about £150 each spent on them and i spent about half that on her. if i spent the same on her then my kids would be losing out because when she goes back to her mothers she has more presents there, so in effect she would be getting double and my kids would lose out because their mum and dad are still together. when you add up what we buy and her mother buys it means every child in our family has the same spent on them, which i thought was fair.my children are under 6 yrs old,so i don't think she does too badly for a grown up working adult.i'm sorry but when my children are working i won't be spending a fortune on them either. i don't expect my mum to spend more than about £20 on me and i definately wouldn't have had the cheek to ask for ipods, laptop and her latest is money towards a car.

newcook

mitchlouise wrote:

I'm sorry but you should spend the same on all your kids, whether she works or not, however old she is. Especially with divorces etc you need to treat them the same. I understand why she was upset

sorry but my parents got divorced and I certainly didn't act like a spoilt brat! I also have a half sister and most of the fun at christmas is seeing her face light up at all the pink things she's received which to me is priceless christmas is about being around loved ones not the amount of money spent. she sounds like the sort of person who if you DID spend the same amount on them all but got her one big expensive present and the little'uns 20 little presents she would be moaning that 'they've got more to open than me'. she sounds like a very materialistic spoilt little madam (which I hate to say is part blame on your partner from the sounds of it) who needs a reality wake up! what does her mother think of her attitude?!

maplegirl2011

i don't know what she's like with her mother, but yes probably is my partners fault as he has always spoilt her and like i say as far as kids are concerned they can do no wrong in his eyes. i'm going to my guns on this one though. and yes i think she would moan no matter what she got