Private Education on average income? Anyone else?

Person_one

kegg wrote: »

Paul McCartney did opt to send his children to state schools but then he wasn't living in a run down area with a failing schools but on his large Peasmarsh Estate. Stella went to Bexhill college where 98% of students pass A levels. It is easy to have principles when you haver money to buy a house in the area of the best state schools. Paul himself passed his 11 plus and went to grammar school so he might want to display himself as working boy made good but he had access to an education that many dont as well.
Funny now that Stella has choosen private education for her own children.

Ok, then lets look at my parents instead. They couldn't have afforded private school but they could have played the game many many other parents in the area did and faked religion to get us into the sneakily selective local church school. They didn't, we went to the comp, we did well there and even made friends for life.

A girl I went to uni with had come straight from a private all-girls school. She was pretty shell-shocked to suddenly land in a situation with people from all walks of life (urban, inclusive uni) and struggled to relate to people and felt like a bit of an outsider. Lovely girl, just completely unprepared for any contact with people who weren't from almost exactly the same background. In slightly different circumstances she might have been one of the many people who drop out early on because of this, what a waste of 14 years of school fees!

kegg_2

Ok lets go on personal experience
My younger son goes to a faith school, not because we fake religion but because we practise that faith. It is not the best school in the area but he is doing fine. Two of his friends go to private schools, one of his friends is home schooled after not getting on well at the local comp and the rest of his friends go to a mix of the local schools and his own school. They are all pefectly normal children, some more able than others in different areas. The two who go private are not in the millionaire bracket but their parents do have well above average incomes.
Who is to say how any of them will turn out once they reach adulthood but at it stands you wouldn't be able to tell which of his friends are the privatly educated ones.

On a seperate issue my older son is in a special needs school that if i had to pay for it would cost a lot more than the average private school.

brook2jack

Shouldn't people be free to choose what their priorities are when it comes to their own money?

My friend and her husband are childminders. They have two children with educational special needs and chose to send them to private school. To do this they have done away with "extravagances" that others might see as necessities such as tv ,new clothes, holidays etc. They run a car but only for the childminding duties... they walk or cycle most places. They and their children do not regret their choices, so how can someone condemn people who work very hard to give their children something that they value immensely .... the best education for that particular child?

My mother had to leave school at 14 so when the time came my parents scrimped and I got a scholarship to a private school. There was a huge range of people in the school and incomes and background. I had no problems at school but got beaten up and spat on regularly on my way home to Peckham each day.

It seems to be perfectly acceptable , as in the case of many people I know, to mortgage and otherwise indebt yourself beyond sense to have the perfect house,holidays etc or even to get your child to the top of a sport (the sacrifices parents make in terms of family life,money etc when their child is signed up to a football academy has to be seen to be believed)
but it is a moral outrage to spend money on a childs education.

RazWaz

My parents did this for me because of my disabilities. I actually had a harder time because of it, as it's harder to get extra support from other places. I ended up switching to a state school and things got better right away.

I needed extra classes to help me learn how to talk and spell as I'm deaf, yet because it was a private school, I couldn't have a specialist come in and give me extra lessons. Once I switched I had a specialist come in once a week and give me the extra help I needed. I went from someone who hated school (because I found it too hard) to someone who loved it and started doing really well, breezed through my GCSEs (even did some early aged 13/14) and my A levels.

Private education isn't always better. There are good and bad state schools, but there are also good and bad private schools. I'd have a look at both before making up your mind really.

The other concern is the money side of things, my parents ended up fighting over every last penny because money was tight and eventually split because of it. Also, will the other 2 kids turn on this one because they can't have that new toy because of their school fees? One of my friends from my private school constantly fought with her little sister (a year between them) because the older one went to private school, and the younger one didn't. The younger one felt that her parents didn't love her as much because they wouldn't spend that amount on her.

The other thing to remember, parents from private schools are very competitive, my mother spent a fortune trying to keep up with everyone else. You might think your above all that, but it's hard when they all look down on you. The rich can be very elitist. I'm not saying they all are, but there are enough that you can be made to feel very uncomfortable.

vouchersrme

As retired Head of challenging inner city school, and close friend to folks who sent children to private school, I personally would plump for state school. Friends who had children in private school, had bullying, no input to education , and continuos calls for extra money. Go to your nearest school and ask what provision they have for your child's problem. Give them all your evidence, so they can plan to support your daughter as soon as possible.
She will not be alone and the school will have experience of her problem. Hope this helps.

delerium

I haven't read through all the pages just the first but I just wanted to say that when I was growing up my brother lacked confidence and wasn't deemed as bright as I was....unlike the stories I read on page 1 of this thread, HE was sent to private school while I went to state school.

To this day he states it's the worst decision my parents ever made. They did not believe in him or his abilities and when he came to sit his exams he actually did much better than anyone expected but they had already made the decision to not allow him to sit his higher exams and in the end he left school with nothing but a handful of standard grades (GCSE level) and is now in a job he hates with no prospects or aspirations.

Me on the other hand stayed on to 6th year, got highers and sixth year studies, went to uni, now have 3 degrees, and a post grad diploma, in a well paid job with immense prospects to climb further (if I stop having babies that is!)

There are obviously personality differences which drive us differently but the warning is there....

MrsE_2

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

True. But in my opinion, and I appreciate it is completely subjective, higher income does not mean wealthy.

A family of four earning 100k with four children in private education would be living very frugally. Most people would assume they couldn't afford it, even for two children on that salary, others lead a different lifestyle to do so..

A family with an income off 100k IS weathly, if you think they are not, you must be really loaded.

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I know a family with a below average income with children in private school. They are bright and the education is fully funded (scholarships & bursaries) by the schools. They are by no means wealthy; they have three children and live in a two bedroom terraced house.

I know families on DSS who get a brand new car every three years, whats your point here?
Its not like either of them are paying is it.

Volupturaptor

I've been following this thread with interest and I just thought I'd post this link, as it may help someone who would like to be able to send their child to a private school, but feels it is beyond their means. http://www.christs-hospital.org.uk/index.php

My own daughter is currently going through the selection process.

Imp

It seems to me that private education is like owning a classic car. Doing either makes you poor!

Lunar_Eclipse

MrsE wrote: »

A family with an income off 100k IS weathly, if you think they are not, you must be really loaded.



I know families on DSS who get a brand new car every three years, whats your point here?
Its not like either of them are paying is it.

My hypothetical point about the 100k, was exactly as you interpreted it. Many people would associate it with wealth, when in fact, someone earning that with (I mentioned) four kids in private school, is effectively living a frugal lifestyle similar to those of below average income.

My point about that family is that they are not wealthy and yet the children are educated privately, in response to your comment about private schools being for the rich, or words to that effect. It's not true; they are for people who put education at the very top of their priorities as a family.