Private Education on average income? Anyone else?

zaksmum

My friend's daughter was very intelligent and it was decided to put her into private education on a very average income.

My friend sacrificed so much. Family holidays were out. No expensive birthday or Christmas presents for her daughters...she had two other girls who were not considered as gifted as this middle child. Even a trip to McDonald's had to be very carefully budgeted for.

The middle child was doing well at school till she met a loser at 14, had his baby at 15 and split with him at 16. She turned to his mate for comfort (!!) and had HIS baby at 18.

Now she refuses to speak to her mother because she resents her "deprived childhood" with no holidays or treats and has a fine old time chilling with her friends all day and smoking cannabis...!

msb5262

Another issue the OP might like to consider is that on top of actual fees, things like uniform, sports equipment and trips can work out extremely expensive for the posh schools. Also children at posh schools mix with posh kids to whom it's quite normal to have a pony, ski every Christmas, go to the Caribbean regularly, be given a car/flat/house at the age of 18...not sure it's a very good environment for children whose family income is never going to run to any of those things.
MsB

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

You have to decide what your priorities are. And what you will do with your other children. Personally, I think it's incredibly unfair to give children vastly different (educational) opportunities. There is no debate that a class size of 20 is always better than a class size of 34, just ask any teacher or Head (as I have done; they all think large class sizes are an issue, regardless of gender, ability or special needs.)

DD's comprehensive teaches in classes of no more than 20. Not bad for a school of around 2,000, I suppose. And I have been told by those with direct experience that their SEN system is superb.

ViolaLass

msb5262 wrote: »

Also children at posh schools mix with posh kids to whom it's quite normal to have a pony, ski every Christmas, go to the Caribbean regularly, be given a car/flat/house at the age of 18.

While I'm sure there are some for whom this is relevant, it's worth remembering that when it comes to private schools, private doesn't have to mean 'posh' (whatever posh means).

I went to private secondary school, I've never had a pony or been to the Caribbean and skied only once. I was not given a car/house etc on my 18th birthday. Thinking round the friends I knew at the time I can think of only one or two who might fit some version of this description.

There was a second hand shop for uniform and plenty of us didn't go on the schools trips. There were those who had less than me and those who had more, as there are in life. I coped in the company of both.

Person_one

The standard of teaching is no better in private schools. They don't have to conform to any state regulations, including SEN provision so they rarely have one to one TAs as many state schools do. Smaller class sizes are truly the only benefit. Although, they do narrow your child's social circle and experiences so maybe not completely a positive.

mico62

We've just admitted a girl who's been in the private sector since reception but they can no longer cope with her additional needs. She's never been assessed by the SEN team or had additional support whereas in the state sector she'd have been supported in class from reception.

JodyBPM

Person_one wrote: »

The standard of teaching is no better in private schools. They don't have to conform to any state regulations, including SEN provision so they rarely have one to one TAs as many state schools do. Smaller class sizes are truly the only benefit. Although, they do narrow your child's social circle and experiences so maybe not completely a positive.

Having been educated privately myself, I would say that the other benefit to private education is that as the parents are paying for their children's education, and have actively chosen to send their children to a private school, the vast majority of parents are keen for their children to achieve a good education, and as such they are supportive of the school with regard to both the education standards and the behaviour standards expected. The school I went to was selective, and so all the children were intellectually capable and well behaved. There were less disruptions to the class, an this alongside the smaller class sizes meant that it was much easier to achieve good results.

Having said that, there are drawbacks too - less experience of the real world or mixing with different types of people, and less need to motivate yourself, because everything is handed to you on a plate. If you stay in the private sector from pre-school through to six form, the real world can be quite an eye opener at 18! And many people I know who did that went off the rails a bit at uni when they finally had the freedom to make their own choices!

gingin_2

I went to a good, but not prestigious, Home Counties private school and there was never any snobbery over finances. The uniform was expensive, I can remember my parents spending over £700, 20 years ago, in one shop. There were lots of trips abroad and extra curricular activities as well.

It's a far longer story than I can write out, but we sent ds to a private school at the age of 4. After some time I was pulled over by the head to be adamantly told that he had adhd and that "this wasn't the type of school for him", she admitted they had no resources, or funding for him and so we took him out that day. Prior to this she had been exceptionally harsh, perhaps cruel to him, because he wasn't functioning in the classroom to her standards.

We found him a wonderful local primary school, I was totally upfront with them and they had him assessed. As I knew, he didn't have adhd. He's still lively and needs reminding to concentrate from time to time but has thrived at this school. It took me a few years to get over what went on at his previous school, but now, in hindsight, I realise the worst decision I ever made was sending him there and the best thing that could have happened was her asking us to take him out.

I was watching dd in her nativity play the other day and 2 of the boys in the play had their one to one helpers there with them on stage. Everyone was remarking how sweet the relationships between these boys and the ladies are and I feel we are so fortunate to have these resources available in this country free of charge. My son wouldn't have got that at his private school.

Sorry for rambling and maybe this might not totally relate to you but wanted to put across my experience.

kafkathecat

As gingin says most private schools are not interested in supporting children with any extra needs, have you talked to them about this? I know of children who have been thrown out because the school didn't want their results to suffer.

peachyprice

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

DD's comprehensive teaches in classes of no more than 20. Not bad for a school of around 2,000, I suppose. And I have been told by those with direct experience that their SEN system is superb.

Yes, our classes are pretty small too. High school is a max of 25 in yr 7-9 and between 18-25 depending on subject in yr 10-11, DD's primary is a max of 25, nowhere near 34, thank goodness.