Private Education on average income? Anyone else?

ManicMum

cheepskate wrote: »

We do it, pay full fees of £8000 a year on not a top class income
I agree with bursarys, but sorry not when you want to upgrade to a bigger house. if you can afford the bigger house , then you can afford the fees. Stay put in smaller house and leave the bursary for someone who really needs it .

I need a bigger house because we have had another child since moving here and need more space. I am not looking to upgrade for any other reason. And no, I can't afford the fees as they will be a helluva lot more than extra mortgage payments.

andrealm

ViolaLass wrote: »

I can't comment on that as we'd have to define wealthy. But talking generally, I think they're less full of wealthy people than you'd imagine. Plus, being better off financially doesn't make you a snob or a lesser person and going to a state school doesn't mean that you understand all of society better. Sure, it might be a different life experience but that doesn't make it a bad thing.

In any case, it's worth pointing out that private schools charge a vast range of fees (mine was £5000 a year, for example), which presumably affects the kind of people who can go there - I wouldn't necessarily call someone who can afford to spend £5000 a year on schooling wealthy.

Wouldn't the fees have gone up in recent years, unless you left school very recently? The average family income is about £30k I think, unless you only have one child, not many people can afford to spend £10k or £15k to send 2 or 3 children to private school on an average income, I would have thought.

Op, I would look into how the school will treat your daughter if she is diagnosed with add, I wouldn't assume that a private school will necessarily suit her any better. State schools have to make provision for children with SEN, private schools are under no obligation to do so. AFAIK, if your child needed a one to one TA, you would have to fund this yourself if they go to a private school, but if they went to a state school you may be able to get one provided, if it's really needed, although you may have to fight for it.

I have nothing against private education but I wouldn't consider it unless we were pretty well off, in most cases children can get a perfectly good education in the state system, especially if their parents are supportive. I wouldn't be happy about sending one child private if I couldn't afford to send them all and I definitely wouldn't want to sacrifice all holidays, treats etc. to pay for it. I'd have hated it if my parents had done that, I think.

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Whether or not they're full of 'wealthy' children, they're definitely full of the children of the type of person who believes that their child should have special privileges that others can't, who believes in supporting a system that contributes to massive inequality and who deny their children the full range of social experiences that come with attending a state school.

I actually think private education is morally wrong, and that's why I don't think you should send your kids to a fee paying school OP. Forget maths and english, what other lessons are you teaching them by doing so? That money is the way to buy advantages in life? That money makes you more worthy of a decent future? That education is a privilege for those who can afford it rather than a basic human right for everybody? These may be partly true but they certainly shouldn't be.

I disagree. I think they are mainly filled with parents who believe in education. Money IS a way to buy advantages in life,I don't think that can be denied,but but we were reminded all the time we were lucky and not more worthy, this lesson of needing to use any advantage but be socially responsible was key in my schools. The attitudes of most but admittedly not all of my teachers and peers was very much more open to different sectors of society than I often see on this sort of thread.

Personally, I don't see why the wealthy should take resources from the state system, and should contribute instead of receiving something free at point of use!

ViolaLass

andrealm wrote: »

Wouldn't the fees have gone up in recent years, unless you left school very recently? The average family income is about £30k I think, unless you only have one child, not many people can afford to spend £10k or £15k to send 2 or 3 children to private school on an average income, I would have thought.

I've just checked and my sixth form school now charges £9900 a year, which is a bit of a leap since I left which wasn't that long ago. I totally appreciate your point about being able to afford it for more than one child though. My parents did it for four children but they had help from my grandmother and in retrospect, I can see that we lived very frugally. As a musician, who benefitted enormously from being in private education from the age of 11, I am very grateful to them. It would have been difficult to find the same opportunities in a state school.

It's worth adding that I was able to get a 50% scholarship and free music lessons thanks to my abilities so my dad got something (financially) out of it too.

andrealm wrote: »

I have nothing against private education but I wouldn't consider it unless we were pretty well off, in most cases children can get a perfectly good education in the state system, especially if their parents are supportive. I wouldn't be happy about sending one child private if I couldn't afford to send them all and I definitely wouldn't want to sacrifice all holidays, treats etc. to pay for it. I'd have hated it if my parents had done that, I think.

Actually, I agree that children, with supportive parents and a reasonable state school can get a good education. I was in state ed up to 11, with supportive parents and did very well. Equally, I would be very uncomfortable with the idea of sending only one child if I couldn't send all, unless there was a very good reason for doing so.

I'm not sure I agree about holidays etc though - facing the idea of missing what you had is different to not having the thing in the first place. I can see what we might have done if my parents hadn't spent so much sending us to private schools, but it doesn't colour my childhood that we e.g. didn't go skiing or that I didn't do horse riding or we didn't go to France in every holiday. I'm an adult and I can do it with my own money now if I want to.

lostinrates

andrealm wrote: »

I have nothing against private education but I wouldn't consider it unless we were pretty well off, in most cases children can get a perfectly good education in the state system, especially if their parents are supportive. I wouldn't be happy about sending one child private if I couldn't afford to send them all and I definitely wouldn't want to sacrifice all holidays, treats etc. to pay for it. I'd have hated it if my parents had done that, I think.

I agree with a lot of this. BUT, I would make sacrifices to send a child to the right school for it, I don't ind driving an old car to the swankiest of places: I do now anyway! Additionally, I know many families where children were in different schools and one in state or one in private. IMO the thing is to get it right, within your means,for the individual child. If I had a really great state school which was right for a child I would probably support it. If I had a child who had won a scholarship to a school that we would have to tighten our belts for but felt like a good fit, I'd take that option! I'd not pay money for a school that was not a good fit for the child.

ManicMum

I just checked in to see if anyone had replied and I am amazed at how many have. Thanks so much. I am really grateful for all your viewpoints on this issue and to those who have shared their own experiences.

I too am not sure if private education is right per se, but then money makes the world go round and we might buy ourselves a better house than the person down the road because we can and no one questions that. Though I understand education is a bit more emotive.

I am only trying to do right by my girl. She is struggling somewhat with concentration and any parent would put their child before any principles they may have once held. If I can get a better deal for her then I will. But then I am balanciing that against all the things other people have said and that I had been thinking about. Is it right on the others? Will I feel miserable not being able to do anything with my money other than pay school fees?

I have spoken to the school about the potential diagnosis and they said they have other children with that condition but they didn't say whether they were fee paying children or not. They do have someone in post for special needs. It doesn't seem an overly snobby school so I have put about her problems on the application. Oh well, I've done it now. If I didn't mention it, it would come out anyway as they get a report from your current school.

I have been told I can push for a diagnosis but this will then stay with her for life and she may find it more difficult to enter certain professions. They said they can try to treat the problems without a diagnosis but then I will never get full support from school because i have nothiing in writing to say what the problem is. Catch 22!!

well, i will see what the school say and what if anything they award us. It is helpful to talk to as many people as possible.

thank you. :beer:

ViolaLass

ManicMum, just wanted to say, regardless of what decision you make, you seem to be approaching this well. it's an option that's worth exploring even if you decide it's not for you and I think it's better to be honest with the school so that you can judge whether they can best help your daughter, who seems to be in good hands with you.

cheepskate_2

ManicMum wrote: »

Will I feel miserable not being able to do anything with my money other than pay school fees?

:beer:

You dont need money to do things with the kids , but i think we tend to think we have to.

I spent a day and all of about £2 going with son to see what hills were locally so we could sledge down, he had great fun.
Just in Oct there we went to Disneyland and spent at least £5000 in total, and he hated it , all he wanted to do was sit in the pool with any kid that was there


(QUOTE) believes in supporting a system that contributes to massive inequality and who deny their children the full range of social experiences that come with attending a state school.

Had to laugh at this one,

(QUOTE)That education is a privilege for those who can afford it rather than a basic human right for everybody?

Education is free, Loads of people on here saying mainstream education is good and how well they did and at times better than independant schools, so where's the problem.

cheepskate_2

Manicmum, I would go for it, sit the exam, see what bursary they give you, and if you dont want it then reject it.

Better to do this , than then decide you want to go once enterance exam is over and you have lost your chance for the year.

MrsE_2

ViolaLass wrote: »

I can't comment on that as we'd have to define wealthy. But talking generally, I think they're less full of wealthy people than you'd imagine. Plus, being better off financially doesn't make you a snob or a lesser person and going to a state school doesn't mean that you understand all of society better. Sure, it might be a different life experience but that doesn't make it a bad thing.

In any case, it's worth pointing out that private schools charge a vast range of fees (mine was £5000 a year, for example), which presumably affects the kind of people who can go there - I wouldn't necessarily call someone who can afford to spend £5000 a year on schooling wealthy.

I didn't say or hint at either of your points above.
I think you have decided where I'm coming from & aren't reading what I post at all.