birthday invites

Bloomin_Freezing2

bestpud wrote: »

Am I alone in thinking it's a bit rude to ask if the other is invited...?

Exactly what I was thinking. If she really only meant to invite one of your children thats her choice to make and should not be questioned. As others have said, either accept or decline for the child who was invited and see if she asks about your other daughter. If she doesn't so be it.

Threebabes

Im a twin and I don't ever remember only one of us being invited to something without the other. I can imagine them being just 4 yr old them not understanding what is going on when one has been invited and not the other. I think its quite strange just inviting one of them. Are they both in the same class?

jackomdj

Personally I would e-mail, wording carefully "Thankyou for Lilly's invite to xx's party, she would love to go". This tells the other Mum that only one daughter was invited without questioning why.

My DD had a party this year where she could invite 10 children. She chose who, could be that the other child has chosen however many & your second child simply was not on this list.

blue_monkey_2

My DD often gets invites for parties and DS doesn't as he is autistic and doesn't understand why he never gets invited to parties. On those days we drop her off and then go to McDonalds. We never go otherwise and DS thinks of this as a treat. Maybe you could do the same.

Where is the party? If it is at a hall or soft play I would be inclined to stay anyway - most mums of 4 year olds do unless they know the parents. I have stayed at someones house before too when DD would not let me leave her without throwing up (sounds daft now but it was a huge problem).

Are you sure the mum knows there are 2 girls, she might assume there is just one girl as she has never seen them together? It is hard when you are a parent of kids in a new school, trying to work out what kids are what and who belongs to who and who is related to who, she might have asked her daughter the girls names and the girl got it wrong.

My friend has non-identical twins and remembering their names is hard enough.... and my son has been in class with them 3 years. LOL

jackomdj

blue_monkey wrote: »

Are you sure the mum knows there are 2 girls, she might assume there is just one girl as she has never seen them together? It is hard when you are a parent of kids in a new school, trying to work out what kids are what and who belongs to who and who is related to who, she might have asked her daughter the girls names and the girl got it wrong.LOL

OP said in a later post that they have been going to the girls parties since they were 1!

Make-it-3

I think a tactful word with the mum just to check there wasn't a mistake or mix up with the invites isn't inappropriate. It's possible to do so without angling for an invite for the left-out twin.

If it is the case, that one was invited without the other then you just need to explain it as best you can and maybe organise a treat for the uninvited twin, as I do think she will find it difficult to understand at her age.

blue_monkey_2

jackomdj wrote: »

OP said in a later post that they have been going to the girls parties since they were 1!

LOL, she changed her font, I did not see that.

If you have been going to each others parties since age one then just ask her IMO. Just email her and say 'sorry, I do not like to ask but is the invite for one or both girls as they are both used to coming and if it is just for one then I'll arrange a treat for Daisy'.

I have had an invite from friends sent to DD and when I have replied that DD could come, then got a message to say it was for DS as well - in fact it happened just a few weeks ago.

Its that easy, I am sure the mum will not mind and you have already stated that you have something else lined up for Daisy so there is no guilt factor for the mum. better you ask than assume IMO.

mum2twinsx2

blue_monkey wrote: »

LOL, she changed her font, I did not see that.

If you have been going to each others parties since age one then just ask her IMO. Just email her and say 'sorry, I do not like to ask but is the invite for one or both girls as they are both used to coming and if it is just for one then I'll arrange a treat for Daisy'.

I have had an invite from friends sent to DD and when I have replied that DD could come, then got a message to say it was for DS as well - in fact it happened just a few weeks ago.

Its that easy, I am sure the mum will not mind and you have already stated that you have something else lined up for Daisy so there is no guilt factor for the mum. better you ask than assume IMO.

Thank you bluemonkey i sent email saying similar to what you have put.

She has replied. She gave the invitations to the teacher so there should have been one for daisy aswell. she did them out seperately as here d.d insisted.:T She was really shocked i thought daisy wasnt invited, her exact words inviting one would be like having a nice pair of shoes and only wearing one!!

Im really glad i took all your advice and contacted her rather than dismissing it. least i know in the future what to do with this situation when it occurs......

Thank you again for all your advice.

blue_monkey_2

That is great and all over and done with - now all you have to decide is what they are going to wear. I remember the trauma well.... LOL.

delain

See my twins are in seperate classes so get invited to different things sometimes. It's amazing though how many parents and kids have made an effort to include the other twin :T and I even picked twin1 up from one party when party boy's mum spotted twin2 and said she felt awful for not realising the boy had only invited one, and if she'd seen twin2 when I dropped the other off she'd have invited her in.

As someone says it teaches them that they won't always both be invited to everything.