birthday invites

mum2twinsx2

Today when i was picking up my children up one of my daughters had a birthday invite.
only one of the girls was invited. which has cause real up roar tonight in our household.
I know for fact this little girls they both play with. the teacher said my daughters are always together at school, do literally everything together at home too. tantrums also.. lol

Lily really really wants to go it this saturday at the little girls house, but neither of them can understand why daisy isnt invited. I dont even know why to be honest, both my girls came out hand in hand with the girls who birthday it is from school.

Do i let one go and do something equally special with the other. Or just decline the invite???

Plans_all_plans

I can understand why you think the other mum is maybe a bit tactless, but I would let the DD who has been invited go and tell the other that life is sometimes like that! If she is very upset maybe do something with her like you suggest, but I wouldn't be entertaining tantrums/upset too much over this.

I realise they are young but they are individuals.

Maybe the other child's mum could only pick one and asked her DD which one she played more with? If I was the other mum, I wouldn't have invited either of them if I couldn't include the other, but maybe she thinks you'll appreciate treating them as indiviuals rather than a package?

I wouldn't decline the invite personally.

alwaysonthego_2

I have 2 DDs close in age and they sometimes get invited to the same party and other times they don't. I would not take it personally because I am sure the mum has to draw a line on who she can invite, but saying that I always try and invite siblings if they are young if I know the parents. I would let her go and treat your other DD. I am afraid it will serve as a valuable lesson and they will get invited to loads of partys.

kegg_2

why would you decline the invite?

the little girl probably plays with loads of other children at school and i am sure they are not all invited so just because she is a twin doesn't mean it should be both or none.

Pepzofio

Awwww, poor Daisy!

Is there any chance the mum might not realise that Lily & Daisy are twins? Just thinking that she might have asked her daughter to choose one of them (due to limited numbers) thinking that they were just two unrelated classmates?

I would probably just ask if it was intentional - along the lines of "Hi, thanks so much for the invite to XXX's party on Saturday - just wanted to check something as only Lily's name is on the invite and I was wondering if you'd meant to put both twins' names on it...?" I think most parents would understand how it might make things difficult for you if one twin is left out, especially if they are all friends. (It's always possible that the mum did separate invites and only one has been successfully delivered.)

If it was intentional, I would probably be inclined to give a polite refusal. It's fair enough that twins should develop some independence from each other and have their own sets of friends, but I think with a shared friend and at such a young age I think it would be worse for one twin to miss out than both of them, IYSWIM.

mum2twinsx2

Hiya thanks for your replies have taken them all in.

The parent put an email address at end i might just clarify that one was just invited, as someone said one may have been lost in transit.

There is no mistaking there twins there identical:)

I very much doubt lily will go by herself she relies on daisy to do all the talking at first until she gets the courage.
Maybe is just that sad point where they need to become more individual and brave it..... :sad:

They dont understand why one isnt invited, i keep explaining and i hit a wall and they just ask same questions. joys of being four.

Counting_Pennies_2

I think you need to explain that sometimes just one person will be invited to do things, such as go to parties, and to accept the party invite and arrange something special with the other.

In your reply you might want to say that unfortunately you won't be able to stay at the party to help because you need to arrange something to do with the other to keep jealousy at bay, and see what response you get.

I'm afraid even with twins they are going to have to break away in to other activities, and parties are one of those cruel moments when friendships, and what might appear to be decisions not thought through by others happen.

jillie1974

maybe it was just forgetfulness and one name was left of by mistake?? i'd check with the mum tbh

heretolearn_2

Is one in the same class as the girl, and the other isn't? Lots of mums decide to invite classmates only, and maybe she just didn't think about one being a twin...

Liquorice_Twirls

Perhaps the birthday girl was only allowed to invite say 8 children and she chose one of your daughters and not the other. I guess this may happen more and more as they get older, although it's a difficult situation.

pinkclouds

Email the mom and ask if you can bring the other child due to childcare arrangements? (In fact, looking at your siggy, you'd potentially be bringing 3 extra not just the other twin!) Decide based on her response?

My eldest is 3 years old and has recently attended 3 birthday parties (of 3 and 4 year olds). A lot of parents brought additional kids with them (usually younger but one or two older) because very young kids can't be expected to attend on their own and a lot of people don't have on-call childcare for weekend parties. In fact, one or two came as a family! I'd have thought she'd be expecting quite a few extras anyway. (Although, while I'd expect the extras to be fed and join in the games if old enough, I wouldn't expect them to get the party bags as they aren't official invitees.)

If they can't both attend, then I would politely decline. It's too horrible at that age. There is a set of twins in my daughter's class. They don't dress alike but they do everything together and have a lot of identical toys, etc.