Child would like unsuitable game for christmas HELP!

kafkathecat

Thank you cheepskate for saying what it would have taken me all day to write. In my ds's social circle too the more aggressive children tend to be the ones without games systems. For some reason among the boys and teens that I know, the sweeter the child the nastier the games they like to play. I don't claim to understand that.

geekgirl

I was the wicked mother that would not buy Grand Theft Auto for my 14 year old. I knew he played it at mates houses but I would not condone it and have it at mine. He had other things that were slightly out of his age range but I always watched films first or got information on what games were about before he was allowed them.

Children are young for such a short time, I think let them be children plenty of time later on for adult stuff.

kegg_2

The thing is once they get to their teenager years even if you ban it you can bet your life that they will be able to play it at one of their friends houses.

I would prefer to buy it myself and have some control over it.

bestpud

kegg wrote: »

The thing is once they get to their teenager years even if you ban it you can bet your life that they will be able to play it at one of their friends houses.

I would prefer to buy it myself and have some control over it.

But any control you have in your house will still go out the window when they go to friends so what's the difference, apart from they will play it more if they have their own copy?

kegg_2

bestpud wrote: »

But any control you have in your house will still go out the window when they go to friends so what's the difference, apart from they will play it more if they have their own copy?

But i will have an idea of what the game is like and seen it for myself and how my son reacts to it. I dont play games myself so i would have no idea otherwise. My son probably plays more around his friends than at home mainly as his ramps are in our garden and we live behind the park and local football club. Given the choice he would rather be playing sport than playing a ps3.

stumpycat

kegg wrote: »

The thing is once they get to their teenager years even if you ban it you can bet your life that they will be able to play it at one of their friends houses.

I would prefer to buy it myself and have some control over it.

But I think there's a huge difference between buying something for a teenager and an 8 year old...

kegg_2

stumpycat wrote: »

But I think there's a huge difference between buying something for a teenager and an 8 year old...

I have already said within the first few posts of this thread that i dont think the game is suitable for an 8 year old but this thread has moved on to involve older children as well.

Eton_Rifle

cheepskate wrote: »

My son is totally non-aggressive

You need to see the big picture rather than just thinking about how it affects you.

Your son may be non-aggressive (at the moment at least) but it's not just about his own actions but what he is being trained to accept as normal and thus may allow to happen to others in the future because he may not have the right revulsion response.

How will he react when he sees a person beaten up having been conditioned at a young age to accept this as normal - can you absolutely guarantee he will still intervene to help or will he just walk past with a shrug? That's the risk you're taking.

So you see it's not just about your son but about all of us and all our sons and daughters.

No action exists in a vacuum - do you understand that?
Every single action has repercussions and they affect all of us in some way.

But no, it's far easier for you to take the easy way out and give in to child so he still 'likes' you, that's far more important than our society as a whole.

barbiedoll

My DS has been gun crazy ever since he could make play guns from his lego sets when he was small. He has been to a firing range and used a gun and was shocked by the recoil and the noise but he, like most boys, still loves the idea of guns and shooting. However, he hates the idea of shooting animals for sport, cries at soppy films and on the whole, is a caring and gentle boy.

He is now 13 and bought COD with his pocket money himself. I had to laugh when he told me that all of his mates had it and said "Do you want me to be bullied at school Mum, because I'm the only one who hasn't got it?" (He must think I'm stupid :rotfl:)
However, me and DH talked with him about it and told him that we thought that the level of violence was unacceptable for his age. He argued that there is plenty of violence in James Bond films, in Eastenders and on the news and that playing a shooting game wasn't going to turn him into a "nutter" (as he put it.) He said that he was perfectly aware that it wasn't real and just because him and his mates play "war" in the playground at school, didn't mean that he would turn into a violent person when he was older. He also quoted an article in the newspaper about computer games helping kids with their co-ordination skills, which we thought was missing the point somewhat but give him credit, at least he reads a newspaper! We agreed that he could have it but only on the console which is in the living room so that we could monitor it and take it from him if necessary, to which he agreed. He has played it with DH and my sister's boyfriend, he also plays online with his school friends.

Personally, I hate it, but the boys love it, it's exactly what they want in a computer game. Lots of blood, guts and loud noises. He only plays for an hour or so each night and I find that he'll play COD one night and then go back to Harry Potter or whatever, the next. I wouldn't let him have GTA because of the drug/sex references and I don't let him watch some gory films, I feel that some of the violence in films is simply too much for his age. He loves the "Final Destination" movies, which we watch together but he's not allowed to see "Saw" or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because I think that they are unsuitable for him at the moment.

It depends on the child, parents should know what their own kids can handle, I know my son is fine with blood and gore but doesn't like anything too spooky. Eight is too young for any 18 rated game, at that age, they are unable to separate reality from what they see on the screen. There are lots of more suitable games for his age group, don't be blackmailed by your son, no matter what other parents do, it's up to you what he plays and watches.

kafkathecat

Eton Rifle you are completely wrong. My ds is often horrified by the behaviour of other children and intervenes to prevent disputes between friends escalating, why would that change when he becomes an adult? Children are influenced by the values of real people around them not games. I often talk to my son about what he plays, like adults he knows it isn't real.
The problem here is that people will believe what they want to believe and aren't really interested in evidence one way or another.