Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

silvercar

tomterm8 wrote: »

Macmillan http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx is a cancer charity, that provides specialist medical help, as well as financial advice to access any money you are entitled to for the care of your parents. Their phone number is 0808 808 00 00

tomterm8 wrote: »

"Hi, My father has been diagnosed with terminal cancer... he is in a lot of pain, and I don't really know who to turn to. Is there anyone I can have a chat with?" and then take it from there.

Excellent advice.

This is what you need to do. Over the last few weeks I can see that your posts are more negative and its easy to understand why. You really should get help while its easier to integrate the help into a routine rather than crisis management.

You've stated that you want to take a step back, so getting help to fill the breech is your next step.

Please make the call.

GDB2222

Update on MIL:-

1. She has a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder, and they want to operate.
2. They have her on morphine, so DW thinks that even if MIL survives the operation, she'll be a hard drug addict. She'll be shooting up in the lavatories of the old folks home, I can just see it now.
3. MIL says that she has medical insurance, so she wants to be seen privately. Gah, I think I'll just do my bit and take her dog for a walk.


Such fun!

PasturesNew

GDB2222 wrote: »

Update on MIL:-

1. She has a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder, and they want to operate.
2. They have her on morphine, so DW thinks that even if MIL survives the operation, she'll be a hard drug addict. She'll be shooting up in the lavatories of the old folks home, I can just see it now.
3. MIL says that she has medical insurance, so she wants to be seen privately. Gah, I think I'll just do my bit and take her dog for a walk.


Such fun!

She'll be living at yours soon ... stealing your stuff to flog for her habit

tomterm8

PasturesNew wrote: »

There is no free parking at our hospital for anybody.

Is terminal the same as incurable?
This is incurable, not heard the word terminal mentioned yet.

I think terminal isn't the same as incurable. A lot of cancers are incurable, but so slow growing they don't actually cause you to die. You control the symptoms via good diet, and pain medication, and can live a decent life for years or decades. Terminal means they expect you to die within 6 months normally.

There are some hospitals where they signed PPI deals where there isn't free parking... maybe you are just one of the unlucky ones? Which would suck.

If your father is eligible for guarantee pension credit, he may also be eligible for the healthcare travel cost scheme.

This is where Macmillan is better than me: they can get someone to sit down with all the paperwork, and work out exactly what you are entitled to.

Edit: I looked up south devon hospital trust. The only hospital I could find was torbay? Is that the one you use?

silvercar

GDB2222 wrote: »

Update on MIL:-

1. She has a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder, and they want to operate.
2. They have her on morphine, so DW thinks that even if MIL survives the operation, she'll be a hard drug addict. She'll be shooting up in the lavatories of the old folks home, I can just see it now.
3. MIL says that she has medical insurance, so she wants to be seen privately. Gah, I think I'll just do my bit and take her dog for a walk.


Such fun!

oh dear!

I guess the choice on opting to go private partly depends on whether that involves moving hospital or if the hospital she is now in has a private wing.

Also whether the NHS saying she needs an operation means they will operate tonight, tomorrow or in a few days time.

Doozergirl

silvercar wrote: »

Excellent advice.

This is what you need to do. Over the last few weeks I can see that your posts are more negative and its easy to understand why. You really should get help while its easier to integrate the help into a routine rather than crisis management.

You've stated that you want to take a step back, so getting help to fill the breech is your next step.

Please make the call.

All of the above. Lots of good advice and if the money/help is there for the taking, they should take it - I'm sure they paid into the pot for long enough! Apologies (sort of) if we're laying it on thick but I think silvercar is right, your posts have been changing.

Doozergirl

GDB2222 wrote: »

Update on MIL:-

1. She has a broken arm and a dislocated shoulder, and they want to operate.
2. They have her on morphine, so DW thinks that even if MIL survives the operation, she'll be a hard drug addict. She'll be shooting up in the lavatories of the old folks home, I can just see it now.
3. MIL says that she has medical insurance, so she wants to be seen privately. Gah, I think I'll just do my bit and take her dog for a walk.


Such fun!

Crikey. You were right about the ambulance

LydiaJ

Davesnave wrote: »

As regards feeling that you're not allowed to interfere or make decisions, I understand all that, but there comes a point when a 'child' becomes the responsible adult. Been there & done it.

It's particularly hard for PN, though, because her dad is making much stronger "butt out and leave me alone" manoeuvres than most. Remember, this is a man who wouldn't even let her fill in her own census information. It seems probable that he may resist and resent anything she does to bring in outside help, and as long as he and her mum are both compos mentis, it's hard to see exactly what she can do if it's against their will, however much it might be in their best interests, as everyone has been telling her.

Pastures, I hope you start getting some info soon so you are not so much in the dark about what you could or should do to help.

PasturesNew wrote: »

I actually did the "not nice" thing there and went through quaderas1's entire list of past postings (which all say "ty for share"), marking every one of them spam

And boy that makes me feel good

I don't think there's anything "not nice" about that. Automated bots have no feelings to hurt, and getting them removed as quickly as possible is a blessing to the humans on the site.

Actually I think the bots are becoming a lot more sophisticated. I've seen some posts recently that say things (usually quite brief things) that are almost, but not quite, relevant. As though they're programmed to search for key words in other people's postings and then post a sentence related to one of those.

PasturesNew

tomterm8 wrote: »

eligible for guarantee pension credit, he may also be eligible for the healthcare travel cost scheme.

tomterm8 wrote: »

This is where Macmillan is better than me: they can get someone to sit down with all the paperwork, and work out exactly what you are entitled to.

Edit: I looked up south devon hospital trust. The only hospital I could find was torbay? Is that the one you use?

No, 80-100 miles west of there Treliske

PasturesNew

Doozergirl wrote: »

silvercar is right, your posts have been changing.

:O Ooohh
Had no idea.

I guess I feel trapped and mean and anxious and a bit down and ... every time I move I can see deteriorations all around. And the non-patient's become clingy and child-like.

And I want to run away to the circus