Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

lemonjelly

sjaypink wrote: »

Hello :hello:

Can I ask some questions?

I know on past occasions you guys have given me some great advice on various subjects, but it seems my weakness, and your stengths are (in no particular order) class, etiquette, manners, creativity...

So, seeing as MSEs resident chav has gone and got herself into a bit of state regards weddings, would anyone help?

1. Can you show your tattoos in church? Well, actually, I think I've already decided this one. The question should be - 'where can I buy a wedding cardy?'

2. Being 'given away' - I don't have any one - is it necessary?

3. Inviting the vicar to the reception? Is that the norm? I don't want to 'cos I intend on getting right royally trashed

4. Wedding gifts. We don't want or need anything - but some people have already said they want to get something, if we don't choose they will get vouchers. (Without being rude) don't really want vouchers - is it OK - and how to go about - asking for cash, and how to emphasise, only if people want to. Also, is it better to say why? Have had friends before who have said any money will be for 'conservatory fund' etc. Lastly - charity giving. Is it OK to say 50% of any money received will go to charity? Or is it rude to give other peoples money away, or is it rude to only do half?!

Help! (please!) thank you :A:kisses3:

Congrats sjay!:j

1 - It is your day, not anyone else's. Tattoo's are fine, & no vicar would object to a tattoo on show. That would be very unchristian...
The people there will all be your family & friends, not the usual congregation, so don't see it as an issue.

2 - my dad gave a family friend away. He was best friends with her dad who had died. He was very honoured to be asked. Another family member perhaps?

3 - In all the weddings I've been to, (not that many in fairness) I've never known the vicar to attend the reception. hey're usually busy.

4 - As per no1, it is your day, so you set the rules. Perhaps set up a bank account or something? Include the details on the invite, & the charity.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'd not be overly impressed with that... nearest John Lewis is 170 miles away,

They do deliver though.

I have £15 m&s vouchers I have to spend though. Given by one of the waste companies here because they missed my bin collection for so long. They obviously haven't go to grips with the area STILL as the only local M and S is one of those food only ones. AFAIK I have to go to one of the cities north or south of us to spend it. Or online. For £15 quid not sure what I'd by online.

PasturesNew

Davesnave wrote: »

I'm not really competent to talk about weddings , but congratulations sjay. :happyhear

Don't be daft, I've contributed and I've not even had one!


Still got my pennyworth in.

PasturesNew

lostinrates wrote: »

They do deliver though.

I have £15 m&s vouchers I have to spend though. Given by one of the waste companies here because they missed my bin collection for so long. They obviously haven't go to grips with the area STILL as the only local M and S is one of those food only ones. AFAIK I have to go to one of the cities north or south of us to spend it. Or online. For £15 quid not sure what I'd by online.

If they're physical/in your hand ones, you could give them to somebody for Xmas
Or spend it yourself, on Xmas food.

PasturesNew

There's been a lovely sounding house come to market. Not my thing at all, not what I'm looking for - and entirely in the wrong place.... but tempted to go and look as it'll be full of gorgeousness and I'll have never before seen the likes of it. Affordable too... but, completely the wrong sort of house/wrong area, so it can't even go on the "that'd do" list. The "that'd do" list is precisely 0 long still... but this almost made it (if it'd moved 20 miles south perhaps)

Old cottage + very modern large conservatory. HUGE rooms. Been a holiday let so all poshed up and picture perfect.

Generali

lostinrates wrote: »

They do deliver though.

I have £15 m&s vouchers I have to spend though. Given by one of the waste companies here because they missed my bin collection for so long. They obviously haven't go to grips with the area STILL as the only local M and S is one of those food only ones. AFAIK I have to go to one of the cities north or south of us to spend it. Or online. For £15 quid not sure what I'd by online.

It would probably pay for a delivery charge. You could get a van driver over if you fancied a chat.

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

There's been a lovely sounding house come to market. Not my thing at all, not what I'm looking for - and entirely in the wrong place.... but tempted to go and look as it'll be full of gorgeousness and I'll have never before seen the likes of it. Affordable too... but, completely the wrong sort of house/wrong area, so it can't even go on the "that'd do" list. The "that'd do" list is precisely 0 long still... but this almost made it (if it'd moved 20 miles south perhaps)

Old cottage + very modern large conservatory. HUGE rooms. Been a holiday let so all poshed up and picture perfect.

I feel we need to work through this as a team Pastures. Always go and look, but what makes you think it is the "wrong sort of house" and in the "wrong area"? I don't know if we'll be able to help on the latter, but lots of us on here, will have lived in lots of different types of houses so we may be able to help you with any concerns you have about the first one.

lostinrates

Generali wrote: »

It would probably pay for a delivery charge. You could get a van driver over if you fancied a chat.

But Darling one, that's what YOU lot are for.

re christmas food, wouldn't that pay for three clementines in M and S? I thought it might buy me two and 3/4 pairs of tights if we had a clothes one

edit: so I just found out my sister starts radiation treatment next week. Our relationship is ''difficult'' and I'm so worried about her and her kids but don't want to add to stress, which forcing an issue might....

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

But Darling one, that's what YOU lot are for.

re christmas food, wouldn't that pay for three clementines in M and S? I thought it might buy me two and 3/4 pairs of tights if we had a clothes one

edit: so I just found out my sister starts radiation treatment next week. Our relationship is ''difficult'' and I'm so worried about her and her kids but don't want to add to stress, which forcing an issue might....

Without being too nosy lir, what issue might be forced?
Will there be more stress if it isn't "forced"?

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

Without being too nosy lir, what issue might be forced?
Will there be more stress if it isn't "forced"?

Ach, its too long and too boring to be too clear about.....you can never predict stress with her. For me tbh, I'm not sure either...we're ''not speaking'' atm which is primarily my fault I think. My sister has had a very difficult life (albeit some of it arising out of her own decisions). She also struggles with mental health. I love her very much, but we don't speak atm....I'd like to be speaking to her, but boundaries are difficult. She either gets the pip and thinks you don't care anymore, or ignores boundaries and calls literally 12-20 times a day. I can't cope with that...but I would like her to know I would do things like take her to/from hospital when she can't manage it. I just find it very hard to ride the MH rollercoaster passively as a spectator, which is what she needs me to do to be ''involved''.

edit: pretty certain I'll delte this all later so please don't quote