Benefits All Stopped Retrospectively

Loopy_Girl

mart9012 wrote: »

FBaby - We worked out when we were initially thinking of moving in together that the financial cost wasn't much of an issue. By the time you factor out her living costs as a single person a joint claim would leave us no worse off and actually much easier to manage. My travel costs alone right now would be avoided too. The issues right now are that she attends a special treatment team that is only available in two London Boroughs and in Bucks where I live the provision is very different. Of course she would get treatment but not via the team she uses now and not the same sort of therapy that she is currently undertaking. Her ties to London are that her daughter is being fostered locally to her and her contact with her daughter is also local. If she failed to make the contact sessions with her daughter, social services would see it as another excuse to start full care proceedings and obviously it would be awful for her daughter. Moving to mine right now would mean contact was very difficult and expensive. The child benefits have to be stopped next week. She is entitled to claim those benefits only for eight weeks after her daughter went into care.

So why can't you move to hers? Trying to help her is more than trying to get her benefits sorted and by the sounds of it she needs the emotional support. When this gets all sorted you have, by your own admission, says she is slipping backwards so how many times are you going to have to stay over and get her back to an even keel?
Plus it would show SS that you are providing a safe and stable(ish) home for her daughter to come home to.

If she has all these ties in her area and you don't then I don't see why you can't move to be with her to be honest.

merlin68

You would let her live on the streets rather than take her in. Shame on you.

Loopy_Girl

mart9012 wrote: »

All in all it seems she will end up homeless and destitute and no one seems to care.

So move in, have a joint claim and stop it all.

If you were really honest with yourself, you would agree that you are living as partners to all intents and purposes and the only reason you are keeping 2 houses on is for financial gain. And that is what the DWP have an issue with.

As I said, she is probably going to be a bit of a mess when all this is cleared up so how do you propose to give her the support she needs?

Loopy_Girl

How are the utilities about to be cut off and she is 2months behind with rent if all this has happened recently?

When did she get the letter telling her that benefits were being stopped?

Loopy_Girl

mart9012 wrote: »

start full care proceedings and obviously it would be awful for her daughter.

Would it really? Maybe not.

The child clearly has a chaotic life and lives with a lone parent who is constantly on the edge of self harm and suicide and doesn't go out.

Sounds like the kid doesn't have much of a life where she is now.

Oldernotwiser

mart9012 wrote: »

She sees her mental health team twice a week but they seem unable to really do anything constructive.

Then what is the point of your saying that she can't move to your house because of her medical team?

The issues right now are that she attends a special treatment team that is only available in two London Boroughs and in Bucks where I live the provision is very different. Of course she would get treatment but not via the team she uses now and not the same sort of therapy that she is currently undertaking. See above.

Her ties to London are that her daughter is being fostered locally to her and her contact with her daughter is also local. If she failed to make the contact sessions with her daughter, social services would see it as another excuse to start full care proceedings and obviously it would be awful for her daughter. Moving to mine right now would mean contact was very difficult and expensive.

You're talking about travelling to London from Bucks, not Aberdeen! Many people commute this every day.

Ultimately here we are three weeks before Xmas and there is a "vulnerable person" (official designation) who can't afford to heat her home, power her home, is being threatened with homelessness, has her daughter in care and with all this may end up losing her daughter to the care system. Yet if I stay with her to support her emotionally (as there is no other support) I am breaking the co-habitation rules. She is caught between a rock and a hard place. To her it seems her life is completely falling apart and it will take it's toll on her emotional well being in a big way. There is little consistency from the benefits people either. She was told she was cleared of co-habitation through one decision and then another decision was taken days later that she was. It's a mess.

She has a solicitor working on the appeal and we've seen Vince Cable who is her local MP just to seek clarification on what evidence they used to make their decision with a view to getting them to understand the circumstances. I'm pretty sure when the fraud investigator was ending the interview she just signed whatever form they put in front of her without checking what was written down. She didn't know what the interview was about so didn't consider taking a solicitor with her but just her therapist for support.

If she is so ill that she cannot follow a simple interview, perhaps it is the right thing for her daughter to be in care?

All in all it seems she will end up homeless and destitute and no one seems to care.

You really do need to take some responsibility for your role in this situation.

Welshwoofs

It seems to me that the best thing to do would be to split up and go your separate ways so that she doesn't have the problem with her benefits and you don't have the moral dilemma. Apart from anything else, and forgive me for saying so, but if you have mental health issues yourself then willingly attaching yourself to someone with far worse mental health issues would appear to a recipe for disaster long-term. I'm a mentally healthy person who cares for a bipolar partner and I feel like strangling him at times, or wishing he'd do what he threatens and walk off a bridge to give everyone a break. I can't imagine how it would be possible to avoid being dragged down if you set up home fulltime with someone who the level of issues you say your girlfriend does.

KimYeovil

(Something wrong my screen. Tons of dead pixels - oddly just where my post was. Strange.)

Originally Posted by mart9012
All in all it seems she will end up homeless and destitute and no one seems to care.

It is not that no one seems to care - it is that there is one particular person who does not seem to care (namely her 'boy''friend').

mitch161

All in all it seems she will end up homeless and destitute and no one seems to care.

ha ha. if your GF had no parents, no boyfriend no one who woould take her in then she would be entitled to everything. but your there multipple nights a week. so why should tax payers look after her if your there. and as you say you have 2 homes. so she DOES have someone she can rely on to put a roof over her head.

sorry but if your serious about your girlfriend, you think that you two have a future together and want to move in with her.. THEN MOVE IN. if its more beneficial for her to be where she is to see her child and her welfare team. then you have to move in with her.

if you want her to be financially independant here are two option, dont be a 24 hour carer for her and tell her welfare team she needs someone there over night...its called being independant for a reason. if she cant be independant then get a carer to look after her then the benefits office will see that your not there so many nights to class her as independant to award her what she deserves. if you caring for her and want to carry on caring for her.... then care for her! take responsibility for your choices.

again if you dont want to move in.. then back off with the overnight clothes bag for multiple nights a week. live independant from her. and then have the odd unplanned one nighter, or the odd during the day stuff with her.

your avoiding moving in as you dont want to lose out on benefits paying ur mortgage interest. you dont deserve to have other tax payers continually pay your interest, you dont want to have to dip into savings (selling asset) you want tax payers to take care of everything.

is the house fully paid or is it mortgaged. and how is that paid?

the benefit is a BENEFIT not a RIGHT. its to BENEFIT the needy.

work out your needs. you need to look after your GF as she cant be alone, and you need money. SELL THE HOUSE you have money sitting there on bricks and mortar. use it. stop thinking you can have the cake and eat it. if unemployed then you are free to move Jobcentres to one in her town.

its called a BENEFIT not a convenience payment

i personally have to scrape by on £45 a week hardship in a council house.. if i had a £150k home in another town, i would have sold it if i had a long term GF i would have moved in with her, if i had anyway out of being on benefits i would do it. benefits are not suppose to be used as a long term solution.

you cant have your cake and eat it.

lying to benefit office saying you dont live together yet your there enough to need to bring a clothes bag.. i call that living together. yes common law marriage is not a legal term. but it still in minds of people that someone thats been going out with someone for multiple months is in a more structured/stable relationship. then lets say a 1 night stand.

all these little things like being there long enough to need a change of clothes. means you use her shower before changing. toothpaste at night,
plus her not being left alone much. the points just add up against your case.

if i spent the night with a girl. id put the same shirt on and drive home, as it was a spontaneous romantic one off.. you bringing clothes is a planned event. people that look into peoples relationship status look not just at the bank accounts and see 2 addresses, they ask questions and see if the answers deem that taking her out for a meal is a spontaneous one off bit of romance. or a set event each day. just like bringing own clothes. as that leads on to length of time. people can spend the night in boxer shorts and then brave wearing the same shirt till they got home the next day to shower and shave. but you bringing the clothes means you use her electric her water, her heating for your personal hygiene before changing clothes, more points against you.

its not just one thing that 'caught' you out, its the combination of many things. so now bite the bullet. get her external support and reduce the planned visits and be spontaneous, or atleast be there only during daytime.. or cash in ur house move into hers and apply as a proper joint couple, as its clear that is what you are. stop acting like its just a one night fling to abuse the benefit system. as the honest amungst us suffer more because of it.

so the honest brutal truth is to move in with her. i truly feel sorry for her situation. but she should not be claiming JSA if she cannot survive without supervision. how is she suppose to work in a busy work environment if she cant cope leaving the home. she shouldnt be on any work/seeking work benefit if she cant cope with normal day to day life. maybe she is entitled DLA under mental health reasons if it is as bad as you say, in which case apply for DLA and get a carer involved.

sorry but you cannot keep saying you live apart but still be there for her. so bite the bullet. control your finances dont rely on others. BENEFITS are there as a way of avoiding starvation and health issues. if you love her do the honourable thing. show her you love her. move in!

mizzbiz

To be fair they've only been seeing each other a year. Seems unfair to force relatively new couples to move in together. I dated a lot before I met and moved in with my now husband - we definitely weren't ready to move in together within a year, although we weren't claiming benefits.

It seems like if you're claiming benefits for whatever reason, you can't have a normal relationship. The pressure is on to move in together so your payments can be cut ASAP. For two people who want to enjoy 3ach others company, stay over at each others houses but not to commit and live as man and wife seems ludicrous.

Then again, I've worked in benefits and I've seen my fair share of co-habitation investigations - most of which are blatant fraud!!! This one doesn't seem to fit that bill.