Mentally Ill friend

poog

There is a local sure start but she doesnt leave the house much as she tends to go into a bit of a trance in the car and end up in random places across the county.

Plans_all_plans

I would see if your friend is interested in getting a HomeStart volunteer round. Obviously the volunteer can't sort out her MH problems, but could provide her with a bit of a break/help with the kids and give her some adult interaction.

I had a friend with PND and HomeStart were a lifeline for her.

http://www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/need_support

In my local children's centre they have a creche that does a morning session for children whose parents are referred to them. Is this something that may help/you could look into?

whitewing

Your friend sounds worse than I am, and I am only getting help due to a persistent health visitor. Encourage your friend to regularly take her anti - d's. Mine are helping a lot.

When I was looking to help myself, I came across this: http://www.dissociation.co.uk/clients.asp

I know nothing about them, other than what it says on the website, but it may be useful for you to speak to them about your friend in the first instance. I was worried about myself (and like your friend checked sites/stories that lead me to think that my behaviour was somewhat normal).

poog

The pottergate centre is where she was diagnosed, its shuts down now they closed there doors ust as they finished her evaluation & diagnosis.

She's spoken to Mind again this afternoon and they have put her on the waiting list for conselling, it seems to be moving much quicker now and they think someone will be in touch in 4-6 weeks! `They have said that they cant do any outreach work untill she has a social worker so she's rung the GP's and booked a telephone appointment with her doctor tomorrow to try and get the GP to refer her.

Wer'e pretty sure the social wont just swoop in and take the children but I think its got to the point where she realises that she needs to put that worry aside to get better or it may get to a state where they do need to take the girls.

So something positive has happened today atleast. I think that if the there wasnt such a pressure to get back into work because of finances her & bf could concentrate on getting her better and stop fighting so much.

whitewing

Maybe help her write a list of her current and recent issues (elaborate on your first post), even from your viewpoint as a friend as you are probably in a better position to judge what is out of the ordinary. My husband helped me with mine.

Why is she not taking her anti-d's? Maybe she could be encouraged to discuss that with the GP. Mine help but I was against the idea initially as I was worried that if I took them I wouldn't get other help, and I wanted to get better long term rather than manage my symptoms.

ameliarate

Doesn't sound like simple PND to me, it sounds more like something along the lines of Borderline Personality Disorder with the self-harm, suicide attempts and the dissociation (which is why she will have a bad memory) amongst other things.

There needs to be some persistence by her family in order to get her the help she needs. This needs DBT, not simple counselling.

365days

poog wrote: »

There is a local sure start but she doesnt leave the house much as she tends to go into a bit of a trance in the car and end up in random places across the county.

If she/you ring them they have outreach workers who will come and see her at home. The more people 'fighting' for her against the authorities the better.

poog

I havent got the hang of multi-qouting yet, but she is going to sit down with the boyfriend when they've put the children to bed and make a list of whats going on and if the bf is on board get him to write what his POV is and try to get it too the doctors before she is due her telephone appointment, hopefully the GP will take a few minutes to look at it before she rings.

I will get her to give Sure Start a ring too. thanks for all your advice we've been compeltley lost recently.

jackieglasgow

poog wrote: »

No they arent because her bf is not ill i think so he's just expected to keep everything together. Her mum os a police officer as well so whilst friend know that thats BS and most the stuff her mum says is its difficult when its coming from your mum anyway especially as she & her step-dad are both Police Officers, TBH I think friend would rather the kids went into FC than spent any length of time with her parents she doesnt rate them at all.

Her mother sounds like a complete witch, its no wonder your poor friend is struggling with becoming a mother herself. Social Services are not there to take children away from sick people, they are there to protect children from abuse and neglect, and to support families who are struggling, to help them stay together if they can. She should know better.

poog wrote: »

The pottergate centre is where she was diagnosed, its shuts down now they closed there doors ust as they finished her evaluation & diagnosis.

She's spoken to Mind again this afternoon and they have put her on the waiting list for conselling, it seems to be moving much quicker now and they think someone will be in touch in 4-6 weeks! `They have said that they cant do any outreach work untill she has a social worker so she's rung the GP's and booked a telephone appointment with her doctor tomorrow to try and get the GP to refer her.

Wer'e pretty sure the social wont just swoop in and take the children but I think its got to the point where she realises that she needs to put that worry aside to get better or it may get to a state where they do need to take the girls.

So something positive has happened today atleast. I think that if the there wasnt such a pressure to get back into work because of finances her & bf could concentrate on getting her better and stop fighting so much.

Tell your friend well done from me, for asking for the help she needs, it takes a lot of iner strength to recognise you need help, and to ask for it. She should be proud of herself, as should you, for being such a good friend. Hopefully tomorrow will dawn a little brighter. Suggest to her that her doctor signs her off sick, if she isn't entitled to occupational sick pay, she should at least get SSP (or whatever its equivalent is now), and they can speak to the Child Tax Credit people to see if their help from them will change if her income has reduced. There is also the possibility that through her social worker she can get help with childcare for the children too, depending on what her diagnosis is. I hope it goes well for her tomorrow, its just a small thing she's donw today, but it should cause a huge shift in the balance of her life.

patchwork_cat

JoJoB wrote: »

My experience in this situation is that the person's mental health team will not give a damn and the ill person involved will not get any proper care unless they are sectioned. I'm sure this is not the official line, but it is what happened when a close relative of mine was going downhill fast.

He had history of suicide attempts and depression, yet when I rang the local mental health team to say he was feeling suicidal again I was told "Oh he's already been seen and the CPN did not put that he is suicidal in her notes". His "being seen" was a drop-in session at a church hall where people have a cup of tea and play pool, and just because he didn't shout suicidal impulses from the roof he was regarded as being fine. His contact in the local mental health team was not willing to listen to me or offer advice about how to go about getting counselling etc for him.

He did attempt suicide again shortly after and was given a temporary section so was under the care of a psychiatrist, but again this only lasted a couple of sessions and there was no sustained follow-up care and he was told he would have to wait up to a year for counselling sessions.

Mental health care in this country is a joke - I strongly suggest you get in touch with mental health charities in your area for some advice on how to handle the local mental health team fobbing you off (because they will). There is little funding available to give the care needed so people have to fight for it, ironically at the time they are least capable of being assertive!

If you think your friend poses a danger to herself of her children I would also give social services a call. They may be able to liase with other agencies to get her help. Maybe talk to your friend first and call SS together to make an appointment and discuss options. I can't believe they fobbed her off with going to toddler group! Maybe get health visitor involved too, she would know how to get things moving.

Good luck with going forward on this, your friend is lucky to have you.

Second your sentiment that mental health care in this country is a joke. It is appaling and personally I feel that it is no coincidence that in the last nine months we have had 2 rampage killings ( or whatever the proper term for them is!)

Op your later posts seem more positive, hope things are moving for your friend. Not only do you have to be forceful at a time when you can be least forceful, but also knowing what help there is - this is where a good GP is invaluable! Oh how I wish for one!!!