Mentally Ill friend

poog

My friend has PND, but I think there is more too it than just that and I don't know what to do, I worry alot about her and although she tells me not too, Its obvious that there is something really wrong

I've had to put things into bullet points rather than long paragaphs as It's just such a mess in my head.

. She self sabotages constantly from not taking her AD's & other meds to eating carp food untill she feels sick.

. She was diagnosed with a Dissioactive Disorder by 2 doctors & Psyhc but has since had CPN's & other Docs saying thats not what it it, there is no consistancy.

. Been dumped by the Mental Health team again 3rd time, this time she didnt go to an appointment as she forgot when it was

. a few days ago when I saw her she locked herself in the toilet with a knife (used to self harm & overdose)

. Her hallucinations have started coming back again

. she wants to die & feels her children would be better off without their "pyscho mum" around

. after those sucide pacts were in the sun, she worked out how to make the chemical they used in case she does do it.

. she has a really carp memory, most of the time she couldnt tell you what she'd done the day before.

. Very rocky & resentful relationship with her parents/ has nothign to do with her dad

. got a birthday card this ear from said dad and wnet into destruction mode for two weeks.

. doesnt care about herself or appearence etc at all

. she loses her temper very quickly now and lashes out (soemtimes freaking herself out)

. she lies so much half of the time doesnt realise, sometime she does and corrects it, its almost like she comes out of a trance and says "hang on that BS I dont know why I said that" but only lies about things that are beliveable?! Wonder if that is to do with the memory lapses?

. she has just finished maternity leave but doesnt think she is safe to go back to work (care co-ordinator) she is parinoid her state will lead to someone getting hurt/dieing. Her words were "I can barely care for myself do you really think I am capable to organsing care for others?"

. is not sleeping maybe getting 2/3 hours max a night

. everytime she drives she wants to drive the car off the road.


That is just scratching the surface I guess, but im exaughsted and the screen is giving me a headache. I dont know what I can do to help I work 8.15 - 6pm mon-fri so am not around much.

She does want help and has asked on numerous occassions but keeps getting dumped off the Mental health team books. I have a feeling that something is going to happen soon if she doesnt get some proper help and get someone who is going to consistant with her.

She was in an abusive relationship at 16 - 18 and had her first baby from that. Her Dad tried to make her have an abortion, and well her mum... I wont get started there. The GP always smypthsies and can see from her past why she is in this state but no-one is helping make it any better.

She's also called SS on herself at one point and asked them to get the kids as she couldnt cope but they just told her to go to a parent and toddler group?

Vaila

im not sure what you are wanting to achieve by posting this
but im sure if you felt the need you could get in touch with your local mental health service on her behalf. i think she might need a bit of time out from her situation though first. why dont you treat her to a coffee and have a chat so she can release some of her emotions if anything.

diable

You need to speak to her GP asap.

Rummer

Contact her mental health support team and let them know that she is struggling.

diable

Rummer wrote: »

Contact her mental health support team and let them know that she is struggling.

ASAP as once a patient reaches 18 they will fob you off big time with bull !!!!!! excuses

esuhl

I wish I could think of something helpful to say... Reading that list makes me think that your friend really ought to be getting more help than she is.

Just a thought, but maybe it would help get the message across if you could print out your post (or something similar) and see if your friend would mind you showing it to her doctor...?

Grandmasu

What an awful situation, it is so hard when you know someone needs help and there is nothing there to REALLY help. Have you got a RETHINK or MIND group in your area? Both these groups would give some help or support for both you and your friend or at least point you in the right direction. Your friend seems to be crying out for help and is not seems very, very vulnerable, please contact one of these organisations or talk to the Samaritans you cannot cope with this on your own.

Take Care of yourself, LOts of hugs. :kisses3:

JoJoB

My experience in this situation is that the person's mental health team will not give a damn and the ill person involved will not get any proper care unless they are sectioned. I'm sure this is not the official line, but it is what happened when a close relative of mine was going downhill fast.

He had history of suicide attempts and depression, yet when I rang the local mental health team to say he was feeling suicidal again I was told "Oh he's already been seen and the CPN did not put that he is suicidal in her notes". His "being seen" was a drop-in session at a church hall where people have a cup of tea and play pool, and just because he didn't shout suicidal impulses from the roof he was regarded as being fine. His contact in the local mental health team was not willing to listen to me or offer advice about how to go about getting counselling etc for him.

He did attempt suicide again shortly after and was given a temporary section so was under the care of a psychiatrist, but again this only lasted a couple of sessions and there was no sustained follow-up care and he was told he would have to wait up to a year for counselling sessions.

Mental health care in this country is a joke - I strongly suggest you get in touch with mental health charities in your area for some advice on how to handle the local mental health team fobbing you off (because they will). There is little funding available to give the care needed so people have to fight for it, ironically at the time they are least capable of being assertive!

If you think your friend poses a danger to herself of her children I would also give social services a call. They may be able to liase with other agencies to get her help. Maybe talk to your friend first and call SS together to make an appointment and discuss options. I can't believe they fobbed her off with going to toddler group! Maybe get health visitor involved too, she would know how to get things moving.

Good luck with going forward on this, your friend is lucky to have you.

jackieglasgow

arran_m wrote: »

im not sure what you are wanting to achieve by posting this
but im sure if you felt the need you could get in touch with your local mental health service on her behalf. i think she might need a bit of time out from her situation though first. why dont you treat her to a coffee and have a chat so she can release some of her emotions if anything.

Arran, sometimes your posts leave me dumfounded.

jackieglasgow

OP I have a close friend who has recently been going through something very similar, she did self harm, and we managed to persuade her to go to hospital. She has had several false starts, and several spells in hospital, until she finally hit a crisis point so huge, she buckled under the stress. She didn't have a breakdown as such, but it was a break through, and after her last hospital stay, which ended up being approximately three weeks, she is now much more stable, and on the road to recovery.

It sounds like your friend is a single parent? If not, then her partner should be ablke to go to the GP and ask for help. The GP will advise they need to see the patient, but should be able to advise on what can be done, and how. If not, you could try ringing the GP's surgery and asking to speak to the GP. They won't discuss your friend with you, but they will take note of what you are saying, and if you can persuade yourself to go see them, they already have a good idea. Another road to go down is her Health Visitor. They have links to the GP and also to the local mental health teams(in most regions) and social services, and may be able to open doors more quickly. Your friend really needs to see the GP, if only to get herself signed off sick from work.

Thank you for being a good friend to her. She will need a lot of help and support, and it can be terribly distressing watching someone you care about going through this. Do you both have other mutual friends who could also offer support, with anything from housework, to cooking meals, to looking after the children, as she will be under a lot of strain and stress trying to juggle these things especially if she's on her own? Maybe if we knew what area you are in, someone with local knowledge might be able to help with specific services.

Greener_Grass

JoJoB wrote: »

My experience in this situation is that the person's mental health team will not give a damn and the ill person involved will not get any proper care unless they are sectioned. I'm sure this is not the official line, but it is what happened when a close relative of mine was going downhill fast.



Mental health care in this country is a joke - I strongly suggest you get in touch with mental health charities in your area for some advice on how to handle the local mental health team fobbing you off (because they will). There is little funding available to give the care needed so people have to fight for it, ironically at the time they are least capable of being assertive!

I completly agree, i unfortunatly have been in the position of trying to get someone help on more than one occaision and it took weeks of 5 and 6 phonecalls a day and they still didn't listen to me. I am disgusted with the service for the mentally ill, Unfortunatly my mentally ill family member appears to be mentally ill again so i have all this to look forward to in the coming weeks

OP her gp is your first port of call, unfortunatly more often than not they are less than helpfull.