Memorygirls - The Matrix Reloaded

Kittikins

Hugs MG, I really know how you feel re: single motherhood at times. Even though I was left in the lurch by my exOH and DD is a fantabulously happy, well rounded, intelligent, beautiful, superstar child (mummy goggles I know, lol), I still feel like I'm a failure at times because I'm a single parent

I'm feeling more of a failure at the moment because if the winker exOH doesn't hurry up and put his pittance of maintenance in my account, direct debits will start bouncing soon. I'm not sure how I've managed to get so precariously low on funds, I guess I must have gone mad for a couple of months, hence the £100 food budget, which is really a negative budget.....as If he does pay maintenance, I have £126 for the rest of the month to pay for food, petrol, socialising (my birthday at the end of the month), and we have friends coming to stay for a couple of days and then the Easter holidays to negotiate. Eeek!!

But on the other hand, I have a daughter who loves me, parents who sent me a lovely mother's day card to congratulate me on how brilliantly they see I do (bless them, I was a bit teary when I opened it), an amazing man in my life who is proving to be a scrumptious partner and a more caring father figure for DD her real one ever will be, great friends and a steady job. Life is good really, I just need to keep taking stock and leave my purse at home whenever I leave the house!!!

crickett1234

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Crickett - Thank you so much for sharing. Really puts my woes into perspective. I know I shouldn't have any reason to complain and yet I do. This is my life and for the most part I love it. Sadly I am not living in the countryside, in a cottage with a massive veggie patch but where I live is pleasant, not overlooked too much by other houses. I can see DS playing in the school playground from his bedroom window and I have a happily little family which really is a blessing given your hearts desire Crickett. I need to stop torturing myself with wishing things were different. Sending you positive vibes and warm gentle hugs that you can find a path forward past your breaking heart. I love the Anne of Green Gables........my H bought me the whole set of books I need to get the TV series on DVD next, only got it on video. I swear I was born 100 years too late sometimes

Bitsy... I didn't say that stuff earlier to make you think you were moaning or being silly. I was sharing. Sometimes it makes me feel better to know that other people out there are struggling just like me. That's what I was doing there... not saying "I have more of a right to feel like poo than you do". I hope you know that!

On brighter notes - I am taking half a day of annual leave and going home to clean and make my house look lovely. No reason, really, just because I want to have some time to do some Easter cards this afternoon, and because I don't want to be in the office.

Oh, and I have sorted the Grand National sweepstakes for the office, and put my bets on for the big race too. Sending positive vibes to the Universe for all the horses racing tomorrow (and my 2 in particular!! Calgary Bay & Chief Dan George - picked entirely on the fact they have Canadian connections. I used to live in the same province as Calgary and Chief Dan George was a Canadian actor, First Nations Chief and a family friend. ) Good Luck if anyone else is going to have a flutter.

(Please don't shout at me for backing horses in the Grand National. I personally don't think it's cruel, but I understand that some people do. Each to their own, okay?! :doh:)

Karmacat

Ooh, wasn't Chief Dan George in one of Kevin Costner's films?

I love Canada.

crickett1234

Me too! I lived there from when I was 18 months old till I was 14. Unfortunately, Dad wouldn't let me become a Canadian citizen :mad: otherwise, I would be living there, rather than here!!

But, having said that, I would still have snow on the ground and be shivering, instead of glorying in the weather. And I would not have met my DH. So I guess the UK has its uses!!

In 24 years, I have not been back. I am starting to save money for the trip of a lifetime back to where I used to live for hubby (and also my 40th Birthday extravaganza....! )

Karmacat

Wow .... I seem to be saying that a lot today. I love mse! I love England too, of course.

I visited Canada for the first time in 2004 or so .... fell in love with the place, it was *so* different from what I expected. It looks like America in pictures, but its really different. I visited Toronto, went to theatre festivals and a conference at Ryerson Poly, stayed on the lakes (never seen a queue of speedboats before, lol) learnt about how the rest of Canada laughs at Torontonians because they whinge when they have a foot of snow

If I can get my 2nd career off the ground, I'm visiting Canada and Egypt, for sure.

Kittikins

Another vote for Canada here I'd live in Vancouver like a shot, mountains, beach, city, countryside....bliss! But Sussex comes a pretty close second

crickett1234

The best weather related comment I have ever heard from a Canadian was last winter when someone spoke to a resident of Saskatoon in Saskatchewan (two provinces to the left of Ontario and on the Prairies). It was -50 degrees Celsius, with a wind chill factor. And there were like 10 foot snow drifts all around. The guy said "Yup. It's a little nippy".

Good old Canadian understatement!

Right,... see you all on Monday. Have a fantastic weekend whatever you choose to do! I am off home to clean, spruce up and relax. Tomorrow is a choir rehearsal, the hossy race (if I am home in time) and maybe some light pottering in the garden and Sunday will be church, relaxing and stitching and generally chilling out! See you round folks!!

tellmeitsfriday

Have a lovely afternoon off xx

crickett1234

Thanks TMIF... you too... (at least, I think its you on facebook!! )

fantasia322

Wow, there is some deep, powerful stuff on here today. You gotta love the power of the Matrix.
I just wanted to say MG, the stuff I posted yesterday wasn't meant as a slight honestly. I just personally feel that society places such pressure on people sometimes that 'society' beliefs become ensconced in the psyche rather than intrinsic truths.
I have been a single mum because when I was 36, my then OH left me and our 5 children aged between 16-3, for his best mates 21 year old wife. It wasn't the norm to have 5 kids then albeit to the same father and I had my fair share of knocks, pick myself ups blah blah, and even today when people discover I have 5 (and 2 stepchildren) I'm still asked are they all to the same dad?:eek::eek::eek:
That part is irrelevant but it shows how society views single people with more than your average 2.4-5 children. Grrrrrrrr.
For me though, this journey through life, is about just that, The Journey, what I can learn along the way, how I can help other people, the things I can give and share.
I dont know what I am in pursuit of, what I want to achieve, or where I am going. For the moment I am content to just 'be'. The universe will provide opportunites simply because that is what the Universe does.
So its like Cheri's diary, the pursuit of Somethingness, I still have to find out what.
Finding myself somewhere along the way would be good too :rotfl:.
Positive vibes to everyone xx