I am now safe from broody women armed with pins

suzysue_2

DKLS wrote:

Nope I saw the easy cash to fund my hedonistic lifestyle

:rotfl:

May you continue to enjoy it!

summerday

I'm glad you've done what feels right for you, you won't ever have to worry about 'accidents'.

irchy_mum

Glad the op went ok,my OH had it done 18 months ago so I could come off the pill (and we didn't want anymore children) and it hasn't affected our sex life whatsoever, we were back on track within a week;)

thriftmummy

DKLS wrote:

Puurrlease this was not a decision taken lightly, From the age of at least 10, I made the decision that I never wanted children, and that belief has only been re-inforced over the years, I am now in a relationship with a partner who equally doesnt want children. Why on earth would I want a reversal??? any future partner will be told very early on about my sperm status, There is so much that I want to achieve and do, and I dont wish to have my life handicapped by having a child.
IMO I cannot see any positive reason to have a child, yes I am selfish and will freely admit to it, but is that any worse that these !!!!less fathers scattering their seed, At least I am taking responsibility for my own fertility or lack of.

My GP is unaware of my procedure as I had heard from a number of sources that getting a vasectomy on the NHS when you havent had any children is nigh on impossible, Hence I decided to go PRIVATE and the service was top notch, and they asked on numerous occasions if this is what I wanted, and if I wanted to proceed.
Obviously your line of work has affected your judgement on this issue, likewise my line of work has also affected my judgement, I work mainly in the field of pre-natal screening, and have seen more deformed fetusus and babies that you have had hot dinners, so am more than well aware of the genetic dangers of having children, and to be honest when I started this job that was the icing on the cake.

Good for you! I am a mum to one and most definately never want another one, but some people seem to think they have the right to keep telling me ''you'll change your mind one day''. I totally understand why someone would want to be childless.

chika

Wow! Well done DKLS. As a woman who doesn't want children, I wish there were more blokes like you!

pboae

Giles_81 wrote:

How can you say you will NEVER want kids? I know how you are feeling now, but feelings change.
In my line of work I have seen a lot of young men who have had vesectomies, changed their minds, gone for a reversal and it has been unsuccessful. And, therefore, will never be able to have children and the majority go onto trying IVF treatment for something that IMO was a hasty decision.
It is a life changing decision not to be taken lightly, and I'm a little suprised your GP and consequently your surgeon did not attempt to make you think in depth about this.
I know this is obviously how you are feeling now, and no doubt you did think long and hard (no pun intended) about it, but if you didn't have it done the choice is always available to you, where as now you have left yourself little scope to change your mind. And your still using condoms anyway!!!!!!!!!???

How can someone say they DEFINITELY want kids? Feelings change.

I have seen a lot of young women who have had children, changed their minds when they discovered the reality of child rearing, but found that there is no reversal available. And, therefore, they will never be able to undo it and the majority struggle on trying to raise the children they resent and no longer want, which is a miserable situation for parents and children alike, all for something that IMO was a hasty decision.

Having children is a life changing decision not to be taken lightly, and I'm a little suprised that GP's and surgeons do not attempt to make people think in depth about this.

I know this is obviously due to how someone is feeling now, and no doubt they did think long and hard (no pun intended) about it, but if they don't have children now the choice is always available to them, whereas if they have them they have left themselves little scope to change their mind.



It is this sort of patronising drivel that has prevented me from being able to get a sterilisation. Presumably there are some people who are incapable of making fundamental decisions about their child bearing status. So they find it unfathomable that some of us find that choice extremely easy. If other people put as much thought into having kids as some of us put into not having them, there would be a lot fewer unhappy kids out there.

But perhaps you can explain to me how it is that I am supposedly mature enough to make the life changing and permanent decision to have a kid at 16, but I'm still can't possibly know that I don't want them at 33.

DKLS

BIG BIG Thank you to pboae
“It is this sort of patronising drivel that has prevented me from being able to get a sterilisation. Presumably there are some people who are incapable of making fundamental decisions about their child bearing status. So they find it unfathomable that some of us find that choice extremely easy. If other people put as much thought into having kids as some of us put into not having them, there would be a lot fewer unhappy kids out there.
But perhaps you can explain to me how it is that I am supposedly mature enough to make the life changing and permanent decision to have a kid at 16, but I'm still can't possibly know that I don't want them at 33.”

And to echo what pboae wrote, I went private to avoid the sometime idiotic medical profession that would question my judgement as to whether I knew my own mind or not. Best £450 I have ever spent.

Why is it that If I said I wanted kids, no one would question me, but when I say no I don’t want kids the regret brigade jump on the band wagon, and start with the “oooh what if you change your mind” gees let me guess I will take comfort in my free and easy lifestyle, and enjoy my nice car, nice home, holidays, adventures, experiences and live my life, they way I see fit.


“I sincerely hope you don't look back in 10 years and regret this decision. Even if its when your old and grey and dumped in a nursing home, it may still happen!!!”

Like having kids is any guarantee of not being dumped in a nursing home, lets face it unless you are from an Asian/Caribbean family or the rare exception who take care of the elder family members, as soon as you start dribbling and putting the electric kettle on the gas hob you will be carted off.

Anyway

“and.......I reiterate.......you still using condoms so what exactly have you gained? only limited your choices in your future life!”

Hah I have gained everything:
No more fear about unwanted pregnancies
Freedom
Disposable income
Choice of cars mmmm Nissan 350Z or Renault Megane decisions decisions
Spare bedroom
Do you want me to continue?

In my line of work I see a lot of couples on the IVF journey, and it may surprise you that a significant number whio do succeed with a successful birth, then cant bond/love their infant and actually resent the child.

dawnydee73

Well done, think about how many men out their get a girl pregnant then never see them again or the kid.

Can't fault you for having the snip, I've heard horror stories of women putting needles through condoms.

Softstuff

huge congratulations on the vasectomy.

I sure do wish sterilisation was as simple or as cheap to do privately, I'd have had it done years ago. I'm female and never intend to have kids. People view me as some kind of cruel twisted spinster without feeling as a result... funny that people think kids are the only humans worth caring about or protecting, and yet old folks can be abused in care without anyone batting an eyelid.

My doctor told me at 27 I couldn't possibly know yet whether I wanted kids... somehow this "biological clock" people speak of is supposed to turn women who can run multinational companies into snivelling indecisive wrecks. Many people say I'll change my mind... if I say I don't like dogs and will never own one, nobody says to me "you'll change your mind".

Society is set up to support those who propogate. It's supposed to be the most natural thing in the world... even if people use IVF. At this stage in human evolution, shouldn't we be thinking "do we really need more people?" rather than "how can we make all women more fertile?".

Kiwi_Chick_2

DKLS wrote:

Puurrlease this was not a decision taken lightly, From the age of at least 10, I made the decision that I never wanted children, and that belief has only been re-inforced over the years, I am now in a relationship with a partner who equally doesnt want children. Why on earth would I want a reversal??? any future partner will be told very early on about my sperm status, There is so much that I want to achieve and do, and I dont wish to have my life handicapped by having a child.
IMO I cannot see any positive reason to have a child, yes I am selfish and will freely admit to it, but is that any worse that these !!!!less fathers scattering their seed, At least I am taking responsibility for my own fertility or lack of.

My GP is unaware of my procedure as I had heard from a number of sources that getting a vasectomy on the NHS when you havent had any children is nigh on impossible, Hence I decided to go PRIVATE and the service was top notch, and they asked on numerous occasions if this is what I wanted, and if I wanted to proceed.
Obviously your line of work has affected your judgement on this issue, likewise my line of work has also affected my judgement, I work mainly in the field of pre-natal screening, and have seen more deformed fetusus and babies that you have had hot dinners, so am more than well aware of the genetic dangers of having children, and to be honest when I started this job that was the icing on the cake.

You say you are selfish, when in fact you are the opposite of selfish. Too many unwanted children are brought into the world by people who thought they should have them because society pressured them into it, not because they wanted them. I applaud you for sticking to your guns!