Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

Toto

I have an OH who is useless with money and has no interest in managing it. He actually calls me 'the money' as soon as anyone asks any sort of financial question. He has his own account with his own money in it (which he spends) he doesn't have to or want to worry about bills etc. He likes our financial information in plain simple information... are we skint or not? If the bills are paid all is good and he needs to know no more.

I don't think this is treating him like a kid at all, it's his choice, I would gladly let him take on some of the money pressure and worries, but he doesn't want it. He sees it as me doing him a favour. Relationships like businesses need to have everyone in the roles which make the most of their skills. I am much better at budgeting than he will ever be, he is much better at just about everything else than I am (except ironing, darn you women who won that one). I hate putting petrol in the car, so he does it. It's just one of those little annoying things which needs doing, standing round in the freezing cold, wind messing my hair up while petrol goes everywhere but in the tank, and the pump keeps clicking off every 2 seconds after 23p has gone in.

Sometimes I would love to just have my little bit of spending money a month, all mine to do with what I please, in the knowledge there is a roof over my head and food on the table. I certainly don’t think any of us are treating our men like kids, vegetables or monkeys.

Spendless

Snaggles wrote: »

I hope it hasn't come across as though our relationship is being destroyed by my guilt - it really isn't. If I ever felt that hubby was asking for things knowing there was no way we could afford them, just to make me feel bad, then believe me I would speak up.

Not at all, I hope you don't think I've read it that way. My problem with my husband relates to him wanting to go out. He is away a lot with work, so I'm often on my own with our kids (one is pre-school age). When he comes home and then says "Do you mind if I go I'd like to go out with mates this weekend" I don't want him to cos I've ben on my own most of week but saying "I do mind and don't want you to go" makes me feel guilty. In the end I told him how it made me feel, so now he says "would you rather I went out next weekend, since I've been away a lot this week". Now it might be asking me the same question in a 'flowery way' but one way made me feel 'bad' the other doesn't.

jkhillary

we are in a similar boat to you. i have had a quick look through but cannot see any mention of a third party

we owe..£123k but we are now working with CCCS a charitable organisation that has helped us to reduce the outgoings to service this debt to a manageable amount ( down from £3k per month to £400)

we are not millionaires and we are not rich earners but the CCCS have been fantastic so far

immoral_angeluk

Spendless wrote: »

Not in this country, with this set up.


Anyway enough of partners and reasons for feeling guilty you have your opinion , I have mine. I want to ask IA if she found a cheap tv stand and if so where cos I'm after one myself.

We ended up going for a corner cabinet kind of thing for £30 out of Argos. It's got glass doors (meaning Ash can't get to the bits and pieces!) and places to put dvds etc.

It's this one but in Beech..
http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/6103956/Trail/C%24cip%3D49764.Furniture%2Band%2Bfurnishings%3EC%24cip%3D49875.Living%2Broom%2Bfurniture%3EC%24cip%3D49886.Entertainment%2Bcabinets%2Band%2Bunits.htm

Bunnyinthelights

Blimey,
That was a bit heavy for a Thurs night...

Bunny x

immoral_angeluk

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Blimey,
That was a bit heavy for a Thurs night...

Bunny x

My head hurts just reading it all...

I think in conclusion we should just all agree that men are useless and be done with it.

Bunnyinthelights

Or,
I can admit that I AM useless with money and have NO PROBLEMS handing the reins over to OH-Relationships are give and take and strong ones generally have different strengths and weakness'.
Ying and yang and all that malarkey...
Bun x

immoral_angeluk

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Or,
I can admit that I AM useless with money and have NO PROBLEMS handing the reins over to OH-Relationships are give and take and strong ones generally have different strengths and weakness'.
Ying and yang and all that malarkey...
Bun x

Yin Yan nothing.. men are crap...

Girl power!!! :rotfl:

Bunnyinthelights

LOL!
Ok, you win, men ARE crap...

(but I like them anyway...ESPECIALLY daniel Craig)
Bunny x

immoral_angeluk

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

LOL!
Ok, you win, men ARE crap...

(but I like them anyway...ESPECIALLY daniel Craig)
Bunny x

Didn't say I didn't like them... they do have their uses after all.

Well... from what I can remember anyway... it's been a while!