Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

immoral_angeluk

Oh and as for Ste.... he read what you guys put and is now outside strimming the garden to earn his game.... LOL. Bless him.

I think the problem isn't with Ste at all it's with me. He knows if I said we couldn't afford it then he wouldn't be able to have it as I know where we are with money and what we need to do so he just goes by what I tell him. My problem is I still feel guilty for making him make all these sacrifices so I'm more inclined to let him get what he wants to keep the peace, so to speak. The tv and xbox were both for us (TBH I use them more than he does as he's at work most of the time...) but I find it harder to justify spending any spare money as I want it all to go on debt!

Spendless

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Oh and as for Ste.... he read what you guys put and is now outside strimming the garden to earn his game.... LOL. Bless him.

I think the problem isn't with Ste at all it's with me. He knows if I said we couldn't afford it then he wouldn't be able to have it as I know where we are with money and what we need to do so he just goes by what I tell him. My problem is I still feel guilty for making him make all these sacrifices so I'm more inclined to let him get what he wants to keep the peace, so to speak. The tv and xbox were both for us (TBH I use them more than he does as he's at work most of the time...) but I find it harder to justify spending any spare money as I want it all to go on debt!

I agree the problem lies with both of you, you for not saying no and Ste for asking in the first place. As I used to say to my husband when he used to get cross with me for not being happy cos he'd ask can I get/have/do knowing full well it wasn't a good idea, if he didn't ask in the first place I wouldn't fall out with him. :rotfl: . I'm right in thinking that the debt comes from both of you aren't I? So the rest has to be joint too, including sacrifices for now. It won't be forever.

Sea78

IA - hopre your MIL's bf is ok - don't feel gulity - not your fault!

Glad Ste's now in the garden 'earning' his game! I hope the xbox goes for a fortune Just hold out for another £30 and then it'll have covered the game? Unless it's a £50 game?

Sea xxx

immoral_angeluk

Sea78 wrote: »

IA - hopre your MIL's bf is ok - don't feel gulity - not your fault!

Glad Ste's now in the garden 'earning' his game! I hope the xbox goes for a fortune Just hold out for another £30 and then it'll have covered the game? Unless it's a £50 game?

Sea xxx

The game he wants is £27.99 apparently so if it goes for £50 we should have an extra £25 towards debt.

Snaggles

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your MIL's boyfriend, I hope he has a speedy recovery.

I know what you mean about Steve, if I tell hubby not to buy something because we can't afford it, he wont buy it.....but then I feel guilty so I end up saying 'Oh let's just buy it'. I don't know why I do it, because if I didn't, he would be quite happy to go without. I think it's because he works such long hours while I work part-time (or not at all at the moment ), so I feel like he deserves a treat every now and again, and I feel like a cow telling him how we are going to spend the money he is earning. The bizarre thing is, I think he secretly quite likes me handling all of the money, and telling him what to do with it, because it's one thing less for him to think about.

Bless him for doing the garden to earn a new game though!

As for my bump, it's not as nice a bump as yours was, but then I was 'bumpier' to start with, before I got pregnant lol! But I WILL miss it when it goes, and I'm terrified I wont know what clothes suit me when I'm a completely different shape again.

barnaby-bear

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Oh and as for Ste.... he read what you guys put and is now outside strimming the garden to earn his game.... LOL. Bless him.

I think the problem isn't with Ste at all it's with me. He knows if I said we couldn't afford it then he wouldn't be able to have it as I know where we are with money and what we need to do so he just goes by what I tell him.

Just another way of thinking about it.

He's your husband not the third kiddy! Maybe he should be allowed to manage part of the budget (closely supervised to start ???) because he's not a "stakeholder" otherwise. At some point your going to be debt free and both have to make decisions like oh I've £100 after essential bills in bank do I
a) Save it towards holiday
b) Buy lots of xbox games
c) Save it towards Ashli's university fund

At the moment you are managing his budget for him and nothing bad does happens as he's micro-managed (which would annoy me to be honest)....

Kids spend all their money on xbox games and then realise too late no more pocket money, if you expect Ste to manage money like a 10 year old he probably will; if you have higher expectations he might live up

My problem is I still feel guilty for making him make all these sacrifices so I'm more inclined to let him get what he wants to keep the peace,

Eeek! Kiddie parental setting boundaries issue... but he's a grown-up...

barnaby-bear

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

The game he wants is £27.99 apparently so if it goes for £50 we should have an extra £25 towards debt.

Nasty Mr. Barnaby says:
If that £25 went off the Citi card now, by the end of the year you'd have saved £7.50 in interest.....

Seriously though it's not like he goes out boozing, literally p&ssing money away....

I would wait until after the driving test, just in case - might make Ste relax if he knows that you can afford a retake....

Snaggles

barnaby-bear wrote: »

At the moment you are managing his budget for him and nothing bad does happens as he's micro-managed (which would annoy me to be honest)....

Kids spend all their money on xbox games and then realise too late no more pocket money, if you expect Ste to manage money like a 10 year old he probably will; if you have higher expectations he might live up

This rings true with me too - I think I need to give hubby more responsibility for our finances. I HAD to take a tight grip on it when we were in a complete mess, but we're not in that much of a mess now, so maybe I can let go a little bit (not too much though, cos I AM a control freak ). I'm going to have a think about how I can do this.

Snaggles

The only thing is, I think he likes not having the responsibility, so maybe he wont want it back!

Spendless

Snaggles wrote: »

I know what you mean about Steve, if I tell hubby not to buy something because we can't afford it, he wont buy it.....but then I feel guilty so I end up saying 'Oh let's just buy it'. I don't know why I do it, because if I didn't, he would be quite happy to go without.

This is the same issue I have had, over a different thing (a time issue more than a money one). By me saying no I was the "baddie" and felt guilty or I said yes and he got what he wanted when he knew it wasn't a good idea. I told him to stop making me play baddie, it wasn't fair. He should think on and realise, it wasn't a good idea and not start [STRIKE]pestering[/STRIKE]asking in the first place.