Early-retirement wannabe

Fatbritabroad

Yes my dad's plan is to spend it and I say good luck to him. Hes already on wife number two I'm unsure he'd want to go through that again but anything is possible !

In mums case it's more likely I'll end up helping her if I'm able or the house will be sold to pay for care if she survives than the other way round and that's also fine.

Anyway Dairy Queen is quite correct I shouldn't have mentioned at all. Please accept my apologies you spend enough time on financial blogs dealing with numbers you can forget there's people and real lives behind them . Strangers in the Internet forum I meant no offence to you or my parents lol

Triumph13

I just want to know how that charity trains dogs to belly dance...

hugheskevi

Anyway Dairy Queen is quite correct I shouldn't have mentioned at all. Please accept my apologies you spend enough time on financial blogs dealing with numbers you can forget there's people and real lives behind them . Strangers in the Internet forum I meant no offence to you or my parents lol

I think things like inheritance are extremely relevant to planning, and it is quite right to consider it and mention it when asking for opinions.

I agree with not having inheritance in central planning, but I think treating it as a risk/opportunity is very appropriate. In the case of marginal decisions it may be a deciding factor, for example, if considering an offer of redundancy and pondering whether you would have quite enough. It might also affect your level of risk tolerance in investments, as although you are not relying on anything you can very reasonably expect that any shortfall issues arising at the end of retirement in adverse scenarios would be covered through at least some inheritance.

I think a lot of people could benefit from putting more effort into understanding the various big-ticket risks and opportunities to which they are exposed which could hinder or help their retirement planning. Having a good understanding leads to mitigations of adverse risks such as loss of income, ill-health, death of a spouse, unexpected caring responsibilities and so on.

Conversely, thinking through the positive shocks which could happen, such as redundancy payment, insurance payouts or inheritances ensures you are well placed to take advantage of positive shocks.

Sea_Shell

We've not factored any inheritance in our planning, as there may either be none left, or not left to us.

However, both sets of parents currently own their own homes outright...@ £350k each. So, with a sibling each, there's a good chance we'll inherit something, one day.

BucksLady

hugheskevi wrote: »

I think things like inheritance are extremely relevant to planning, and it is quite right to consider it and mention it when asking for opinions.

.

I find the whole matter quite upsetting to be honest, and find the thought of ''weighing up'' what individual members of the family are actually worth to be quite cold and calculating. My husband's family are ''extremely wealthy'', but we have never presumed that their wealth will pass to us. Instead, we work hard to ensure that our finances will secure our future. Our destiny is in our own hands .
However, I accept that other people will view this matter differently.

DairyQueen

BucksLady wrote: »

I find the whole matter quite upsetting to be honest, and find the thought of ''weighing up'' what individual members of the family are actually worth to be quite cold and calculating. My husband's family are ''extremely wealthy'', but we have never presumed that their wealth will pass to us. Instead, we work hard to ensure that our finances will secure our future. Our destiny is in our own hands .
However, I accept that other people will view this matter differently.

I agree. I have seen how a potential inheritance can affect decisions and opinions with respect to elderly parents' finances. The worst example being the excuses/dubious reasons some children will use to prevent their (obviously in need) parent entering residential care if such care must be financed by the sale of the parent's home.

Anyone relying/planning their future finances with an eye on inheriting their parents' assets are not unbiased. Their self-interest consciously/unconsciously influences their parents' decisions. Parents are highly sensitive to the needs/desires of their children and will avoid spending their money as they see fit in order to 'keep the peace'. It's a form of emotional blackmail that is subtle but insidious.

We have never planned on receiving any inheritance from either set of parents. Our parents are now in the late stage of life and their care needs have escalated in recent years. All are using their assets to finance good quality care. Such care isn't cheap and we anticipate that they will exhaust/near exhaust their house equity in pursuit of long and happy lives. This is no more/less than we expected, and no more than they deserve, and we have enthusiastically helped them to organise the care they need whether residential or in-home.

We have never received any hand-outs from our parents and we don't expect any when they die.

Financial independence is essential to a productive life and is key to happy family relationships. If you over 30, and care about your parents, then don't burden them with your financial problems or expectations. They worked for it. It's their money. If you want something-for-nothing then play the lottery.

Fatbritabroad

DairyQueen wrote: »

I agree. I have seen how a potential inheritance can affect decisions and opinions with respect to elderly parents' finances. The worst example being the excuses/dubious reasons some children will use to prevent their (obviously in need) parent entering residential care if such care must be financed by the sale of the parent's home.

Anyone relying/planning their future finances with an eye on inheriting their parents' assets are not unbiased. Their self-interest consciously/unconsciously influences their parents' decisions. Parents are highly sensitive to the needs/desires of their children and will avoid spending their money as they see fit in order to 'keep the peace'. It's a form of emotional blackmail that is subtle but insidious.

We have never planned on receiving any inheritance from either set of parents. Our parents are now in the late stage of life and their care needs have escalated in recent years. All are using their assets to finance good quality care. Such care isn't cheap and we anticipate that they will exhaust/near exhaust their house equity in pursuit of long and happy lives. This is no more/less than we expected, and no more than they deserve, and we have enthusiastically helped them to organise the care they need whether residential or in-home.

We have never received any hand-outs from our parents and we don't expect any when they die.

Financial independence is essential to a productive life and is key to happy family relationships. If you over 30, and care about your parents, then don't burden them with your financial problems or expectations. They worked for it. It's their money. If you want something-for-nothing then play the lottery.

I totally agree

in fact as you may recall dairy Queen I've tried to help my mum on numerous occasions with her finances to no avail. Case in point the inheritance she's received from my grandad I spoke about on another post, where I suggested paying part of her interest only mortgage off(leaving about 40k which I could probably clear by the time its due) also Leaving an emergency fund so she can have her treats (she will spend the money anyway so may as well be covered for a bit) and investing the rest of about 40k or so (in her name as i have poa ready for when she needs my help) Despite agreeing to start with it's now gone the way I expected and she's said she's not going to do that as she could be dead tomorrow and she's had years of being on the breadline (for context her income is over 1500 a month so hardly poor when she doesn't work). So it's sat in her account being dipped into every month when she doesn't stick to a budget.

Absolutely fine it's her money. Less fine when she runs out and the mortgage becomes due in 8 or so years and she's faced with selling or asking me to pay it off.
Again its very conflicting as a child in this position. I don't like sounding like judge and jury with family but equally if people won't help themselves it's not very fair to then expect others to pick up the tab. I'd have to be very cold though to have her lose her home though not quite sure that's in me to do tbh.

Ive also suggested she sell the house and live off the proceeds if she wants more income but she doesn't want to hence really why I say I'll probably inherit it. I don't want or need it I'd much rather she uses it herself

michaels

hugheskevi wrote: »

I think things like inheritance are extremely relevant to planning, and it is quite right to consider it and mention it when asking for opinions.

I agree with not having inheritance in central planning, but I think treating it as a risk/opportunity is very appropriate. In the case of marginal decisions it may be a deciding factor, for example, if considering an offer of redundancy and pondering whether you would have quite enough. It might also affect your level of risk tolerance in investments, as although you are not relying on anything you can very reasonably expect that any shortfall issues arising at the end of retirement in adverse scenarios would be covered through at least some inheritance.

I think a lot of people could benefit from putting more effort into understanding the various big-ticket risks and opportunities to which they are exposed which could hinder or help their retirement planning. Having a good understanding leads to mitigations of adverse risks such as loss of income, ill-health, death of a spouse, unexpected caring responsibilities and so on.

Conversely, thinking through the positive shocks which could happen, such as redundancy payment, insurance payouts or inheritances ensures you are well placed to take advantage of positive shocks.

I think it is a tricky one - odds are some point in my 70s I will inherit over 100k (of course no certainty) and it might seem silly to live on 5k pa less for 20 years between 50 and 70 and then have a big excess at an age where spending might prove difficult. Of course it will then be passed on to the next generation but again potentially at a time when it won't actually do them the most good....

atush

BucksLady wrote: »

I find the whole matter quite upsetting to be honest, and find the thought of ''weighing up'' what individual members of the family are actually worth to be quite cold and calculating. My husband's family are ''extremely wealthy'', but we have never presumed that their wealth will pass to us. Instead, we work hard to ensure that our finances will secure our future. Our destiny is in our own hands .
However, I accept that other people will view this matter differently.

maybe you are oversensitive or emotional?

I am a former scientist and would always consider it an outside posibility but would not plan on it. just like I dont plan any of my 3 children for husband to die before i do. I look at probabilities.

As regards my former profession I regard it HIGHLY likely we will have another pandemic int h reasonably near future caused by a virus mutation that allows it to jump to humans from animals to humans.

BucksLady

atush wrote: »

maybe you are oversensitive or emotional?

I am a former scientist and would always consider it an outside posibility but would not plan on it.

Maybe, but my husband is also a scientist (medical practitioner) and he shares my view on the subject. He isn't oversensitive or emotional:).