+++SAT/SUN 30th/31st DAILY CHAT+++

Buffythedebtslayer

Why can't your Sister do the housework?

What are Mum's family sitting around doing then?

Ames, I know we are just a bunch of people on the internet but as an outsider looking in someone has to do the practical stuff. it is completely natural to want to do all that you can in this situation - not to take over but to feel you are being a help and actually it is helpful. You are doing very well health wise but that doesn't mean you push yourself to a point of collapse. It means you do what you can when you can. And your sister does what she can too. And your father. You know about money, you know how quickly banks work and don't want to see you mum lose her house. you know you motives are clear.

If your family cannot understand your illness then I am afraid at times like this you will have to grin and bear it and take strength from us and yourself knowing you are doing the best you can. In your position I would perhaps write a letter to your Mum explaining how you feel, your illness and how you want to help and most importantly how much you love her. I obviously don't know your relationship with your mum tho so may be not?


Please post here we are your friends and we love you.

Hang on my love

Buffy xx

beanielou

Im off too.
Sleep well x

elliemoo

Ames, I am really sorry for your situation but hang in there.

It does take someone to be practical but you need to vent your emotion somewhere. Look after yourself and take some time for you.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend/half term.

Congrats Bookie, a lovely grand daughter.

Had some wine and feel quite mellow.

LouiseJ

Happy Halloween everyone

Another busy day ahead for me, I am planning my time out a bit like a timetable and it worked OK yesterday so will try the same today.

9-10 is ironing and tidying so best get on:D

elliemoo

Morning all. Louise hope the ironing goes to plan. I save my ironing for x-fa*tor on a Sunday evening, oh the joys. Hope everyone has a great day, not too spooky.

Doomcow

GOOD MORNING!

Ames: cant say much but agree with buffy, butti etc.

Run today - just need to get sorted here and get energy / hydrates and will be good for this afternoon

tenmah

Morning

I have got a little timetable too Lou. Ironing done and at 10am it is bath time!! I need to clean the front door, living so close to the road means it gets dirty very quickly and with the landlady coming today, I thought I had better do something about it. I might encourage her to come every week as it has certainly spurred both of us to be tidy!!

Doomcow

its went from mega sunny to foggy, hmmm

what does this mean?

Doomcow

!!!!!! noisy neighbours need evicted

Ames

Thanks everyone. Emotional stuff doesn't come easy to me. So when mum says she's worried about how to pay for the funeral, I just say don't worry about it, there's grants. By which I mean, don't worry about it that's for me and sister to deal with. It never occurred to me that it would come across as saying she could have a cheap funeral paid for by the state so I'd have more money to inherit. I feel like there's a bit of my brain missing that does the emotional stuff because I just don't get it.

Butti, I don't care what people think, but mum does. So having her friends saying how awful I am doesn't help her.

Lou, my family don't think my problems will disappear overnight. They think I never had problems in the first place so there's no reason to think about them.

Beanie, the Macmillan nurse is dealing with all the benefits.

Scaredy and Buffy, my sister can't do the housework cos she lives in London. I'm the only one in the family that doesn't work so everyone thinks it's just down to me to pull myself together, stop pretending to be ill and get on with it. I asked sister to do two things, but she didn't have time. I wanted her to try dad's old sky box with mum's dish to see if she can get freesat cos she can't get a decent signal on normal tv. I also asked her to batch cook a load of stews and stuff for mum, but because I didn't go out and buy all the ingredients and tell her exactly what to do she couldn't do it. So I'll have to do that this week, dosed up with painkillers. Everyone's agreed though that sister should do as little as possible while she concentrates on her first real job and everything. The rest of mum's family live a couple of hours drive away (near me, but I can go over there for half a week at a time) and work, so there's not much they can do. Plus, my grandma died of lung cancer so they've got a load of memories coming back to deal with. 'Luckily' I was in the middle of a depressive episode when it happened so my memories of that time are really hazy. Dad can't help because their divorce was a really, really nasty one. Mum wouldn't want his help.

Anyway,