+++SAT/SUN 30th/31st DAILY CHAT+++

Ames

Beanie, I asked the Macmillan nurse if she could help me by liaising with my doctors but she said I just had to contact them myself. I should have realised from the look she gave me then that I was coming across as being selfish, but the only reason I said it was because I wanted to get an appointment to start the blood transfusions asap so that I'm not coming down with infections and passing them onto mum. Maybe that's what's made everyone think I'm selfish, that when the nurse said about mum being immuno compromised I thought of myself there, but it really was just because I didn't want mum to get ill because of me.

Butti

Ames wrote: »

Hi all, I'm back home for a few days. I've been doing my best to support mum but I've managed to !!!! it all up seriously - everyone now thinks I'm a !!!!! who can't wait for her to die so I can spend my inheritance. I thought by concentrating on practical stuff I was taking worry and stress away from her so she could concentrate on chemo and her health. Plus by concentrating on the short term it meant I didn't have to think about the end. I'm really not sure I'm strong enough to support her emotionally with no one to support me, which is really selfish I know. Maybe I am the !!!!! everyone thinks.

Sorry I just needed to let it out.

Hi Ames,

Stop worrying about what you think other people are thinking, and stop thinking about what they are thinking.

You are being helpful by being practical, which helps you by keeping you busy and helps her by taking a load off her. Who gives a S*H*I*T what anyone else thinks.

It's not selfish to think you need support. You are giving your mum support, you do need support. You can do it the way I did it and not get any support and then completely crack a couple of years later. I wouldn't recommend it. I would suggest talking support at least on a regular basis.

B

Butti

For what it's worth Ames I think you are right. Not only will doing practical things make you feel better but you will get ahead of the disease which believe you me is LOADS better than running to catch up.

B

beanielou

I miss all the lovely peeps who used to post on the chat.
Really really want a drink but its a bit late now.

LouiseJ

Ames you are doing exactly what I would do, be practical. I have also been accused of being cold and unemotional around my family (not my sons) but its just my way of coping.

I like to feel helpful and busy that way I dont have to do all the emotional stuff that others are much better at.

Surely your family realise that your problems arent going to disappear overnight?

Big Hugs from me my love xx

tenmah

I was just saying Beanie that drink always looks so lovely like wine or even whisky, but to me the taste is horrible. It doesn't taste as nice as it looks to me these days. I would rather have a cuppa and some chocolate!!

beanielou

Ames~On a practical level has your mum applied for DLA?
There is a fastrack system for people in her situation.

scaredy_cat

Ames, what is your sister doing in all this? is she helping as well? don't take it all on yourself, or you'll get ill.

You may have to be strong and stand up to those people and say, 'i'm hurting too, but this needs doing as well!!'
Unfortunately, Banks and other finacial instiutions are not really sympathetic when people get it, it's a fact of life that it does need dealing with, and you have the foresight to see this.

clairewop

I'm shattered, gonna say goodnight now.

Butti

Right I'm going to bed as I need an extra hour - what a shame my man isn't in it.

Ames you carry on as best you can looking after your mum AND looking after you. That is all you can do or need to do.
B